{"data":{"items":[{"id":"775af39e-565e-4d6b-8844-beea8a8b3b44","excerpt":"Teenagers pushed us too far and probably got their family evicted. — **I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/MortynMurphy**\n\n**Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell**\n\n**Teenagers pushed us too far and probably got their family evicted.**\n\n**Trigger Warnings:** >!destruction of property!<\n\n----\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1v27idd/teenagers_pushed_us_too_far_and_probably_got/","role":"pain","weight":1.3639783,"occurredAt":"2026-07-21T04:00:08.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"feature_request","painScore":0.45104066,"sentiment":-0.23809524,"confidence":0.94,"matchedPatterns":["wish","missing_feature","still_cannot"],"statement":"Still no sign of Shitlings & Co, normally a day off school summons them like maggots to a carcass.","title":"Teenagers pushed us too far and probably got their family evicted.","body":"**I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/MortynMurphy**\n\n**Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell**\n\n**Teenagers pushed us too far and probably got their family evicted.**\n\n**Trigger Warnings:** >!destruction of property!<\n\n----\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/neighborsfromhell/s/h5eZ51TE9e): **May 24, 2026**\n\nI try to be a polite neighbor. You're not going to see me often and I won't seek out conversation, but when new neighbors move in, I will go and introduce myself and offer mine and my spouse's phone number. This is a nice neighborhood, it's completely normal to give Christmas baskets or let someone's dog out if they need it, stuff we did for our previous next door neighbors. No one would complain about a random party on a holiday weekend, I won't be bothered by your kids playing loudly on the sidewalk, people behave but aren't unreasonable about expectations. Especially since we live in townhouses that are all connected, there's just no way to eliminate all neighbor noise. All this to say that I don't think we have unreasonable community expectations.\n\nSince these new neighbors moved in the vacant rental next to ours we have had nothing but trouble. They have only been here a couple of months, but they are the second-worst neighbors we have ever had. The absolute worst was a couple at our first apartment who resolved conflicts via fisticuffs.\n\nThe first annoyance was a normal one. Their bass was too loud through the walls, a common problem since people aren't aware of how thin the walls are. (We did the same thing. Our previous neighbors texted, we apologized and adjusted settings, confirmed they couldn't hear it anymore, and all was well.) We work from home and needed to be in meetings, so we went over to ask them to turn it down and no one answered. Finally we texted the mother, and the music only happened in late afternoon between the time when her kids would get home from school and when she would get home from work. Since it was a couple of hours maximum we let it go and didn't schedule any meetings during those times. We were kids once, too.\n\nThen Spring Break happened. Either the mother works both days and nights or simply spends 18 out of 24 hours outside the house. Twice in one night my husband had to sternly tell her daughters' friends to stop looking in our cars, leaning on our cars, and screaming after midnight. Five feet from our front door, by the way. \n\nThen the next night we catch them doing it AGAIN! My husband opens the door to one of the drunk little idiots \\*popping a squat and pissing less than a foot from our car!\\* My husband, being a reasonable man, starts yelling angrily at them for PISSING IN FRONT OF OUR DOOR. The hooligan closest to sober remembered basic survival instincts and began wrangling the rest of them into the house, apologizing sloppily but profusely. Apparently a very angry, very big, very bearded man yelling will do that to ya. \n\nLater we have yet another text exchange with the mother. We make our stance known and I'm quite proud of myself for keeping my temper in check. She said she will handle it and we end the conversation on good terms. Even then we were willing to try and be nice and give them another chance. We were little asshole teens once and chalked it up to the high of spring break. We hosed off the pavement and tried to generate a level of patience hitherto unforeseen in either of us.\n\nWe had about a week of peace, but the good times couldn't last. The teen girls have developed a small collective of devoted derelict boys who hang around outside their house several afternoons a week. They once again leaned on our cars, looked into our cars, and were little assholes when my husband came outside. They tried to mouth off but when he asked them to repeat themselves they scuttled down the sidewalk. Rinse and repeat for a couple of weeks.\n\nThat brings us to last night. We're fun and exciting people, so we were idly scrolling our phones while watching something. Suddenly there was a loud \\*bang!\\* and we noticed a phone flashlight on our back patio. They had \\*\\*broken through our fence\\*\\* and were scrambling for a way out. We hear/vaguely see whoever it is crash through our garbage cans on the other side. His options were either to run that course, risk the 10+ft drop into woods, or escalate to breaking and entering in a state where he would have probably become a statistic. \n\nIn an obviously rare moment of intelligence, he chose the first option. The whole thing freaks us the hell out, and by the time we get our heads on right and go out front we see those same goddamn teens scattering through the neighborhood like mice. One of them didn't get far enough away and tried to casually act like he was just walking by, but when we confronted him he was clearly rattled. We weren't about to detain a child because we're not psychotic, so we let him go. He scampered off to wherever little shits go when they're not ruining everyone's evening.\n\nThe neighbor on the other side of the Problem House had someone break into their back area as well going the opposite direction, and I panicked. I reached out to the mom, convinced her daughters may have been hurt or they were robbed. She brushed me off and got a little rude when I told her the trespassers had definitely come from her house and that every other neighbor said the same thing. \n\nThat is until a random \"uncle\" appeared, driven home by someone else. He listened to us and fed us the usual bullshit people do when they don't want to deal with anything. Lots of empty apologies and excuses for why the kids are alone. But apparently he told the mom that four adults were all saying the same thing: The working theory is that the boyfriends somehow knew an adult was coming back (probably location sharing) so they panicked and left out the back.\n\nThe mom tried to walk back her attitude and apologized after hearing how many witnesses there were, but I am not very forgiving once I'm at a certain point. It's something I'm working on. I did not accept her apology. Later when we reviewed our camera footage from the whole night, we saw the same little shit we stopped go into her house with the others about an hour before they trespassed. The same little shits \\*come back later after the trespassing\\* and lean on our cars, climb on our cars, and film themselves lip synching for whatever reason. So we decided to go nuclear. To quote the certified BadAss™ Cobra Bubbles, \"thus far you have been adrift in the sheltered harbor of my patience.\"\n\nMommy Dearest had no way of knowing this, but the neighbors we were friendly with that had lived there before? They were very good friends with the homeowner. It was very easy to get his number from them, text him, and bing bang boom suddenly my husband is on the phone with a very embarrassed guy whose apologies were much more coherent than piss-girl's friend. He was really very appreciative of the Google drive link with video of every single issue we have had (a few I've left out just to save space). Complete with time stamps! The other neighbors got his phone number as well. We learned some interesting info from him. The mom gave us a different name than the one he had, there were only supposed to be two people total living there (we see five or more living there regularly), other fun things I'll leave to your vivid imaginations. Needless to say, they're in violation of their lease with just this. But one thing my husband and I have in common is that we are very thorough.\n\nSo the next step was the police report. Did you know that in my state you can file a non-emergency report online for things like someone on your back porch late at night or people casing your car? It's really very easy! Our HOA isn't open until Monday (edit, sorry, Tuesday!) but they had a nice little contact page we filled out. The other neighbors also filed reports and contacted the HOA. However bad my Saturday night was, I think their upcoming week might be worse.\n\nMy husband informed the mother via text of all the steps we had taken and that our cameras are always on, front and back. She has been silent and absent from the home since I did not accept her apology last night and laid out exactly how much trouble her kids have been when she's not around (which is always). Not sure what will happen next, a little concerned about retaliation from the little dingleberries. But now we have a paper trail, an immediate line of communication to the landlord, and they're aware they've been being recorded the entire time. Any escalation beyond this is their choice. ETA that I don't think the eviction is in motion yet or anything at all. I don't know anything other than they are in direct violation of their lease in multiple ways, and that in my state that's a wrap on your tenancy.\n\n**TLDR:** Turns out, being a little asshole, having little assholes over as guests, and your little asshole guests trespassing late at night is in violation of most lease contracts. Maybe don't case cars and break fences while you trespass in the era of home cameras. And maybe consider for a brief moment that your neighbors might just have your landlord's personal phone number.\n\n**Update #1 05/25/2026:** the mom finally came home at around 2:30 in the morning with a literal warehouse of younger kids. She put them in the house and then left herself in a different car that was there to pick her up. The uncle or whoever he was is at the house with the new set of kids and we saw no sign of Shitlings & Co last night. My husband thinks the mom and older teenagers are avoiding their own house since we've now taken to sitting on our porches.\n\n**Update #2 05/26/2026:** I have had terrible insomnia for the past two nights since getting the shit scared out of me by the trespassing. I have confirmed with a couple of other neighbors that they contacted the HOA, owner, and filed a police report for a missing Apple Watch from one of their cars for the same night. They said they would, but it was nice to get the confirmation and vent to each other. If the kids choose to retaliate they would have to target multiple people, all of whom have cameras. Still no sign of Shitlings & Co, normally a day off school summons them like maggots to a carcass. Our front camera is not in an obvious spot, so my husband thinks it might have freaked them out to learn they'd been being recorded the whole time. I'm so angry I want to go piss next to \\*her\\* driver's side door. But that would technically be right next to my car again, and that would be counterintuitive.\n\n**Update #3 06/01/2026:** Still no sign of Shitlings & Co. They haven't shown themselves since the night they broke our fence down. Our cars and property have been left alone entirely, but the neighbors on the other side of the NFH asked for some camera footage since they woke up to some gas missing out of their car during the week. Then they asked for footage again on Thursday, since some \\*other\\* kids staying at the NFH were climbing all the way on the roof and hood of her car and the camera they ordered hadn't gotten here yet. She was \\*heated\\* and came out yelling at them because her roof is now dented, the adults came rushing out to usher the kids inside for only a minute, and then the whole crowd bundled up into their cars and left. I think they know they're on thin ice. I wasn't part of this confrontation, I heard about it/saw it on my cameras later when she asked for the footage. Idk what her next steps will be, I would want my roof repair paid for, but I also understand not wanting to deal with them in that way.\n\nThe landlord had a meeting scheduled with the mother that he called a \"walkthrough and HOA citation review\" for noon on Sat, 05/30. She claimed a family emergency and asked to push it back until Sunday at noon. Then she asked to push it back until 5. The landlord was openly irritated by the third rescheduling. He offered this information by the way, we did not ask. The landl","offTopic":false},{"id":"a208c82f-236a-40f9-9b5d-3cf43c9f00db","excerpt":"My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life. — **I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/DifficultPath**\n\n**Originally posted to r/legaladvice**\n\n>!TW: stalking, harassment, death!<\n\n**My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life.**\n\n[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1ok4j82/my_brother_hacked_into_everything_and_is_trying/","role":"demand","weight":1.3375316,"occurredAt":"2025-10-30T16:33:41.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"tool_discovery","painScore":0.42290595,"sentiment":-0.105882354,"confidence":0.94,"matchedPatterns":["wish","is_there_a_tool","terrible","frustrating"],"statement":"Is there a way to clearly show him that this is wrong with an amount of force and guarantee my privacy in the future WITHOUT getting him in serious trouble?","title":"My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life.","body":"**I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/DifficultPath**\n\n**Originally posted to r/legaladvice**\n\n>!TW: stalking, harassment, death!<\n\n**My brother hacked into everything and is trying to control my life.**\n\n[Original](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9bfo4r/my_brother_hacked_into_everything_and_is_trying/) - August 30th, 2018\n\nI'm in my second year of undergrad at a state university in California and I'm having an issue with my brother, who in his late twenties and a computer engineer (this is relevant to my issue). As a sidenote I know very little about computers other than basic googling skills.\n\nMy brother is a very type-A person. Very perfectionist and hardworking, often to the detriment of himself and others. He is a nice and positive person and is successful in the traditional sense, but he is very controlling and has a bit of an overblown ego. I'm a much more relaxed person and the two of us share very little in the way of interests or guiding philosophies. I'm a visual arts major who likes to draw and he's the type of person who watched Fight Club and thought that Tyler Durden was onto something. We get along but have hostilities.\n\nMy brother resents the fact that I am not like him and that I don't look up to him as a role-model. He is very fond of mocking my interests/hobbies/career plans and he often talks literally about a \"plan\" for me in which I change my major to engineering and start taking his advice. When he brings this up now over the phone I stop talking to him for whatever amount of days/weeks until he apologizes and we do it all over again.\n\nTwo weeks ago, my brother made a joke referencing a piece of digital art I drew on my laptop. I didn't think anything of it until I realized after the call ended that I never posted that piece of art anywhere, not even onto any cloud service-- it had only been available on my physical laptop.\n\nI was nervous and downloaded Malwarebytes but it didn't find anything. Thinking back I also recalled my brother making a joke about something I said to a friend privately on my Discord, which also was not publicly available. Checking Gmail and a few other websites I'm on that showed options I discovered someone had been logging into my accounts from an unfamiliar computer and had then been doing so for about a week.\n\nI called my brother about this and he laughed and told me that he had remote access to my computer and that he'd be \"checking\" up on everything I was doing from this point on. I told him that that was ridiculous and he basically laughed and said that people today have no reasonable expectation of privacy anyway.\n\nWithout going into detail I've basically discovered that my brother literally has access to everything in my life. My bank account, school account, my art/chat accounts, all the files on my computer. He has even referenced information that leads me to think there is a very good chance of him having a camera/microphone in my room (he has been in my apartment in the last month and the only reason I think he might not is because I haven't been able to find it.)\n\nThere is nothing on my computer or Cloud files or anything I'm even remotely embarrassed about. But the idea that my brother has all my information is terrible and I want him to stop. I don't feel comfortable in my apartment or using my computer/personal accounts anymore. I'm writing this from my school's library.\n\nIs there a way to clearly show him that this is wrong with an amount of force and guarantee my privacy in the future WITHOUT getting him in serious trouble? My brother is an idiot and I'm pissed at him for this (especially in the way where he acts like it's a joke or that he's doing it to \"mentor\" me, which he keeps saying, like he has called me knowing my class schedule which I never told him and reminded me to go to classes/etc) but I don't want his life should be ruined over this even if he is an asshole. He has also \"joked\" about dropping my classes which I got really pissed at and he assured me it was a joke but I still feel uncomfortable that he'd even hint at that.\n\nThanks.\n\n[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9bveru/update_my_brother_hacked_into_everything_and_is/) - August 31st, 2018\n\nWithout going into a lot of detail, based on some of the stuff I read on here and a conversation with a friend, I realized that the way I viewed the relationship with my brother was incredibly messed up and I decided to act more seriously about this. I was thinking about how to proceed last night while cleaning, and then I actually found a camera. I know I said I thought there was one before but I don't think I really consciously did. It was in my bathroom.\n\nI have gone to the police station and for now have an injunction against my brother. I also reported the computer hacking along with texts and a phone message he sent where he both alludes to and directly confirms it, so.\n\nI don't know what'll happen but I feel a lot better having taken this right. I appreciate the comments people sent it helped a lot.\n\nThanks.\n\n\n[Update 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9e6in5/update_update_my_brother_hacked_into_everything/) - September 8th, 2018\n\nWithout exaggeration, this was probably the worst day of my life.\n\nAfter getting served the injunction/temporary restraining order thing, my brother 1. told my parents and 2. chose to immediately violate it. He left me several messages that essentially was low key threatening to ruin my life and I was scared so I reported it. He was taken to jail and to my current understanding is going to get a type of misdemeanor charge for it if he already hasn't. I don't know if he's in jail right now.\n\nI knew my parents were going to take his side but they have effectively disowned me for this. My parents are very religious conservative catholics (i'm not religious anymore but they don't know that) and they were very upset by me reporting it. That's an understatement. I have enough scholarships where I will be able to continue paying for my living expenses/school with my part time job but they way they treated me was horrible. They're very upset because this'll probably screw up his college according to the talks we've had. They said I'm disgusting/not welcome home etc. My dad sent me a video of him and my mom burning most of the belongings i left at his house (not much important to me but still). they don't believe me about the camera and my dad said he specifically didnt care even if it was there. just screaming the entire time, i stopped answering my phone and checking my email because it terrifies me. I bought a new cheap computer because even though someone helped me wipe it clean, I'm honestly too scared of using the old one at this point.\n\nI haven't left my room in a week. the worst of it is over i think but i feel like i felt in a pit. I can't stop crying.\n\n[Update 3](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/9ncv9e/update_update_3_my_brother_hacked_into_everything/) - October 11th, 2018\n\nHi. Still in California. I'm having some new problems since my last update and i'm unsure how to handle them. i'd like to say things have been good but they haven't. I had to stop school this semester because I've became extremely depressed and couldn't handle the workload of both school/work and some personal things I'm focused on related to my sexual orientation. Planning on going back next semester. Really can't focus on anything past work and my life feels very empty rn. Need to leave the house more haha and talk to someone who isn't a customer.\n\nMy brother is still in police custody and still in the process of getting convicted, which apparently takes much longer than i'd thought. My parents and a few random people their age who I think they have recruited for this have been continually harassing me through various electronic means/random phone numbers (they do *67 or something) and spreading false rumors about me and I was too depressed to deal with it properly with another restraining order /other thing so it's just been easier to ignore.\n\nMy main problem at the moment is that I'm trying to get a new job but I can't because I need my SSN. When I broke off with my parents and this happened i had some of my important documents with me but not the ones that college students won't use on a daily basis (passport, ssn, birth certificate). I'm embarrassed but I don't have it memorized, the last time I needed it my parents sent me a picture (before all this happened) but i no longer have that in my texts.\n\nI called my parents to send them to me and tried to make it sound like I'd call the police if they didn't and my father implied that he either burned them or would never give them to me. He didn't (visibly) burn them in the video he sent but I don't know if that was everything. I have trouble talking to him right now and I couldn't maintain it. I tried calling his parish leader who I know and he told me he'd talk to my parents about not giving me the info/harassing me but it hasn't done anything if he did surprise surprise.\n\nThe only documents i have to prove id are my permit and my school id (which is useless in this scenario). I need more documents if I want to get a new SSN card. I'm also scared of my parents having this information because I think they might try to mess with my life. I'm afraid that if I call the police my dad will just claim that he never had it and burn it/hide it forever and then I'm screwed without any way to fully prove my current identity to get new documents.\n\nAlso I want to change my name and I'd appreciate if anyone knows the best way to go about doing that or if it'd be too much of a pain right now. Not that big of a deal and honestly still lazy but would make me feel better if it's not a big thing.\n\nThank you very much the people here have been very helpful to me at a point in my life when I don't really have anyone to talk to or give me advice in regards to these types of legal issues.\n\n[Update 4](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/comments/ac4exo/3679_update_update_4_my_brother_hacked_into/) - January 3rd, 2019\n\nI just want to make this post because i think it's good to make a point about how the world actually works and i don't like leaving things under the false impression that everything ended up being okay.\n\nThe last five months of 2018 were the worst months of my life because of everything that happened with my brother and me being disowned by my family, my family's friends, and many other people who I thought I knew/respected.\n\nI ended up getting my documents back without too much trouble but after that everything has been a loss. My brother was not really punished in any substantive way. My parents have endeavored to protect him and he basically got something on the level of probation no jail time. He was fired but has been hired again with a much better job with a small private company because (I'm told) of a connection with a colleague. He (or my parents but I think him for various reasons) had various people call me up from unlisted numbers with vaguely threatening messages calling me a whore or just breathing on the phone until I had to get a new number. Rumors have been spread about me to the point where I don't feel comfortable even talking to nice people I knew because I'm afraid they'll judge me based off things they've seen that aren't true. I still am not going to be able to go back to college this semester because of personal and financial reasons and I basically have lost all my friends due to either personal insecurity, severe depression, or the rumors. I don't leave my house outside of work and I'm not taking care of myself in the way I should. Very grossly thin and pale (working on getting better though) and i've been having very terrible dreams about going to hell and burning alive forever which are driving me crazy. I'm not going to do anything dramatic but mentally I'm not where I need to be.\n\nI'm not trying to make this a pity party, an","offTopic":false},{"id":"a114e5d4-cabd-48ff-9948-3764c9277e7b","excerpt":"My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé — **This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)**\n\n**OOP: u/Minute-Memory-6253**\n\n**Published on: r/Advice**\n\n**Story is:** `ONGOING`\n\n**Story timeline**\n\n- [**Main Post**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1sfylq9/my_s","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/1slbzgv/my_sister_is_threatening_to_tell_my_family_and/","role":"pain","weight":1.2679334,"occurredAt":"2026-04-14T15:27:53.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BORUpdates","intent":"feature_request","painScore":0.54,"sentiment":-0.6,"confidence":0.8233333,"matchedPatterns":["wish","missing_feature"],"statement":"I’m definitely missing a few details of her accusations, there were a lot of them, but the main threat she had was to tell my parents and my boyfriend I was a ‘bitter, lying home-wrecker’ (her exact words) if I didn’t come clean.","title":"My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé","body":"**This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)**\n\n**OOP: u/Minute-Memory-6253**\n\n**Published on: r/Advice**\n\n**Story is:** `ONGOING`\n\n**Story timeline**\n\n- [**Main Post**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1sfylq9/my_sister_is_threatening_to_tell_my_family_and/)**: April 08, 2026**\n\n- [**Update**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1sgmn5j/update_1_my_sister_is_threatening_to_tell_my/)**: April 09, 2026**\n\n---\n\n# Main Post\n\n^(April 08, 2026)\n\n----\n\n[**My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1sfylq9/my_sister_is_threatening_to_tell_my_family_and/)\n\nSo I (24F) have a sister (29F) who has been in a relationship for 3 years. She got engaged in February 2025. They rented a small flat in our city, however she has been staying at our parent’s recently due to the fight that started this. I am still a student who’s living at home while finishing my masters degree. I have a boyfriend of 2 years, and we are currently long distance as he is studying abroad.\n\nLittle bit of backstory: me and my sister don’t get along. I have AuDHD, my sister has ADHD, hyperactive type. She has always been the comedian of the family, but often her jokes come at the expense of others and involves winding people up or acting as a ‘wooden spoon’ to stir any pot of drama she can find. I tend to not initiate contact with her to avoid any potential issues since, while she is family, I feel more stressed after spending time together. \n\nMe and my sister’s fiancé get along pretty well, however. We have shared interests in motorsports and we usually talk about it at family get-togethers. We don’t talk outside of gatherings much, just the occasional text when F1/MotoGP is running or little life updates if we haven’t seen eachother in a while. My parent’s have said previously that they find it odd how I am fine with talking to her fiancé but have a weird aversion to talking to her directly, but this has never been a point of tension.\n\nBack to recent times: a little over a month ago my sister found bank statements in their flat for cards she didn’t know existed. Most of the transactions had been to hotels or restaurants abroad. She checked the dates of the restaurants and they line up with the times and countries he had been away for work trips, but the exact restaurant and hotel locations do not add up (eg; him ‘going away for a conference’ but the hotel and restaurants he booked were at least an hour away from the city). \n\nShe immediately thought he was cheating, and searched his phone, but found nothing. He caught her snooping and they fought about it, which ended up with him admitting he had cheated while abroad. The wedding is off, and she has moved back in to our parent’s place while they figure out their lease.\n\nThe weekend after she came back to our parent’s, we went out for dinner as they thought she could use a pick-me-up evening with the whole family. Over dinner, we talked a lot about recent life events (other than my sister’s fight), and travel got brought up. \n\nI had travelled to Singapore in September 2025 to visit friends and relive our undergraduate clubbing days. My parent’s wanted to plan a trip to Singapore and I recommended the hotel I stayed in plus a few nice food spots around the area. In hindsight my sister was uncharacteristically silent after this, but the rest of the dinner went by pretty normally.\n\n2 days ago my sister invited me to go to dinner that evening, saying she had something serious she wanted to talk about without worrying our parents. This was very out of the ordinary for her, we haven’t gone out to dinner with just us two since I was probably 15, but this whole situation was hardly ‘ordinary’ either so I didn’t question it. The dinner hardly had any talking. \n\nRight after we ordered our drinks, she accused me of sleeping with her fiancé and being one of the women he was cheating on her with. She pulled up the bank statements for me to check and, sure enough, there are transactions for the same hotel in the same week I was in Singapore, the one I mentioned to our parents. She accused me of being jealous of her relationship, saying that I was bitter that she was proposed to within ~2 years of them starting dating, and that I clearly thought I was a better match for her fiancé since we had more hobbies and interests in common (we literally only have 1). \n\nThere was a lot of back and forth of me trying to reason with her and get any sort of exact detail or legitimate proof that could’ve caused her to think this, but by this point she was livid. The whole thing escalated from 0 -> 100 within like 15 minutes. I’m definitely missing a few details of her accusations, there were a lot of them, but the main threat she had was to tell my parents and my boyfriend I was a ‘bitter, lying home-wrecker’ (her exact words) if I didn’t come clean.\n\nHow on earth is someone meant to navigate this situation? I think it goes without saying that I never cheated, and definitely not with her fiancé, but how does someone begin to plead their innocence in a situation like this? I have no witnesses for me when I was in Singapore, I was visiting friends, yes, but I stayed in my hotel every night since they all live in different areas and the hotel was pretty central. Both sides of this ‘case’ have basically no firm evidence other than a few bills. On top of this, how would I even begin to manage the fallout if she were to tell people this? Long distance is hard enough as is, I cannot imagine how shattered my boyfriend would be if he was told I cheated with a man he considered a friend.\n\nAny advice would be massively appreciated. I will update this post once I have more information or to answer any common questions.\n\nEXTRA INFO: There was a 3 day overlap in dates. I arrived Tuesday, left Sunday. The statements show charges from the Friday until sometime the week after (don’t remember exactly what day, I just know it was after I left).\n\nFIRST EDIT: Boyfriend has been told. I will post a formal update tomorrow once I have also spoken to my parents about this as to not spam the subreddit, but I no longer need advice with how to approach him with this issue. Thank you all for your help on that front!\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**COMMENTS**\n\n**Hey-Just-Saying**\n>It’s a massive coincidence that you would stay at the exact hotel her bf stayed at on the same dates that he was there. This is a hard one to disprove if you weren’t doing things with your friends in the evenings.\n>\n>**OOP**\n>>RE the coincidence: Agreed, I was really shocked when she showed me the bank statement. The dates had a 3 day overlap where we were both in the same hotel, though I never saw him or knew he was there. I was talking about how I had planned this trip for at least a month beforehand, though, so I’m hoping my parent’s aren’t too old that they remember me asking about flights and travel restrictions (I don’t go abroad often but my mum has traveled a lot for work so she’s my go-to for travel advice).\n>>\n>>RE proof from evenings: I do have photos from nights out with my friends that prove I was with them basically every evening, but those photos dwindle in numbers the later each night got. I will have to ask my friends if any of them can vouch that they dropped me off at my hotel, as that would disprove any restaurant charges, however the issue of being in the same hotel rears its head again here since she could always argue I went back to his room instead of mine.\n\n---\n\n**dekage55**\n>When you went in your hotel room, did you open the door at any point?\n>\n>If not, you may get the hotel to provide keycard usage for those 3 days, easier than surveillance footage.\n>\n>Of course, if you left your room to get ice or some other innocuous reason, that won’t help🤷‍♀️\n>\n>**OOP**\n>>I’m literally drafting up an email to the hotel as I type this, I was about to ask about surveillance footage but this had just given me a new idea. Thank you!\n\n---\n\n**TumblyBump**\n>Context is everything. If you live in Hong Kong or Australia and all have busy professional lives I can believe it. If you are from Dublin, NYC or London, and in lives that doesn’t require travel, it gets a bit harder.\n>\n>**OOP**\n>>We are all London-based.\n>>\n>>I am a student, I explicitly travelled over summer to visit people who went to my university for their undergrad degrees since the university I go to is VERY international. He works in finance and the company he works for is also very international. I don’t know his exact job title but I have seen a few clips of him speaking at conferences in Milan, so he definitely does travel legitimately for work!\n\n---\n\n[**To a downvoted comment**](https://reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1sfylq9/my_sister_is_threatening_to_tell_my_family_and/of1pjbs/)\n>We haven’t been LDR the whole time, just since August of last year since he took a year abroad in university. He visited over Christmas and we had plans to see eachother over Easter but mutually agreed that exams are kicking both of our asses and that we are better off just doing some parallel play via studying on facetime together. All is going well right now despite the stress of exams and now the added drama from this.\n>\n>I do trust that he will see my POV. We both are similar in that we think through things somewhat robotically/logically, so I believe if I lay out the facts similarly to how I have done on this thread he will be able to see the whole picture quite fast. However this doesn’t account for the chance that he doesn’t trust me. Haven’t quite thought through my game plan if that happens, it’s not a pleasant thought to consider that your own partner doesn’t believe that you didn’t sleep with his friend…\n\n---\n\n[**To a big comment**](https://reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1sfylq9/my_sister_is_threatening_to_tell_my_family_and/of1z235/)\n>I stayed at the Shangri-La in the center of the city. We are well-off financially and I have lived at home my whole life, never moved out since I went to university in the city my parents live in, so I have money from jobs as well as my maintenance loan set aside.\n\n---\n\n**William_Hastings**\n>this is not at all on u to prove from thin air. she made the accusation, so she needs actual proof, that how law works lol\n>\n>**OOP**\n>>Ironically she is a lawyer, but I doubt she is gonna really care about typical legal proceedings right now even if I swore myself in.\n\n---\n\n**PrettyExpression4u**\n>You mentioned in a comment that you started planning the trip a month in advance. Yet, you also stated that the last time you spoke with her fiancé was a month before your trip. Not one of you mentioned planing a trip to Singapore? Hmmm… I’m not buying this. 🤔 Also, it’s not cool to be messaging your sister’s fiancé behind her back. It doesn’t matter how innocent the convos may appear to be. That’s extremely disrespectful and it opens all kinds of doors for things to happen. You played with fire and you got burned 🔥\n>\n>**OOP**\n>>You realise the British GP was in early July 2025, and that I said in the post that we messaged about F1 right? Since you’ve clearly read through the various comments and responses on this post, you also know I am London based, so this was home-turf for us.\n>>\n>>My sister knew I messaged him occasionally. She messages my boyfriend because he is currently studying in Germany and he helped her plan a week in November to visit. They even met up for coffee and I got a little photo of the two of them before she moved on to a smaller town to see her friends. Messaging eachother’s partners was pretty normal, this wasn’t out of the ordinary behaviour.\n\n---\n\n# Update - next day\n\n^(April 09, 2026)\n\n---\n\n[**[ UPDATE 1 ] My sister is threatening to tell my family and boyfriend that I slept with her fiancé**](https://www.reddit.com/r/Advice/comments/1sgmn5j/update_1_my_sister_is_threatening_to_tell_my/)\n\nWARNING: this is a VERY LONG post! There are a couple TL;DRs, but it will m","offTopic":false},{"id":"f2e03ca0-04fa-4dc7-b3fa-b81868307636","excerpt":"[New Update] - AITAH for not helping my half-sister after she was kicked out? — HawkeyeinDC\n\nThis is crazy. Why is no one on the maternal side stepping up? And how old is this half-sister?\n\nIt also just seems SO bizarre that your maternal grandmother would drive a 12 hour round trip to basically ditch your half-sister ","url":"https://programming.dev/comment/5968648","role":"demand","weight":1.0843669,"occurredAt":"2023-12-27T15:16:07.201Z","sourceKey":"lemmy","sourceName":"Lemmy","credibility":0.58,"venue":"programming.dev","intent":"tool_discovery","painScore":0.56484026,"sentiment":-0.7222222,"confidence":0.6929569,"matchedPatterns":["looking_for","i_hate"],"statement":"Multiple people also asked if I hate HS and that I sound resentful for things she said as a child and for things her parents did.","title":"[New Update] - AITAH for not helping my half-sister after she was kicked out?","body":"HawkeyeinDC\n\nThis is crazy. Why is no one on the maternal side stepping up? And how old is this half-sister?\n\nIt also just seems SO bizarre that your maternal grandmother would drive a 12 hour round trip to basically ditch your half-sister with you….\n\n​\n\nOOP: She's 24-25, her birthday is close I think. And it is crazy that she drove down here. I know there's far more to this situation and I really don't wanna know. I just want them to leave me be.\n\n​\n\nHawkeyeinDC\n\nI know you don’t plan to let her move in with you, but don’t ever change your mind on that. She’ll likely never leave, won’t pay rent/contribute towards costs, and you’d have to legally evict her. Save yourself the headache!\n\n​\n\nOOP: The nightmare of an eviction process is part of why I don't like the idea of anyone staying with me tbh. It's 7 nights in a row here for guests to become tenants and the one time a friend of mine let someone stay with her, one week turned into six months of court hearings and damaged property. Definitely gonna save myself the headache.\n\n​\n\nUpdate They dropped her off at my house - 13 November 2023\n\nI checked the camera footage last night/this morning. HS and BM's mother had been looking under mats, rocks, in potted plants, the mailbox, and checking the doors. Probably were looking for a spare - I don't keep one on my property and my dad, grandma, and grandpa have keys they keep with theirs. My uncle did an overhaul of mine and dad's cameras. We now have ones that send notifications to our phones when motion is detected. Also got ring doorbells for the front and back doors. There are other features and all the cameras are better hidden as well. I went to the police department while he was doing this and brought my grandpa with me.\n\nHS was booked for trespassing, but not held very long since BM's mother picked her up from the station. They stuck to the lie of me offering HS a place to stay and gave statements. Not sure how that's going to go, but I'm taking steps to protect myself, my property, and my dad and his property.\n\nHS doesn't have a record beyond this, so this was her first offense. I don't know how I feel about that tbh. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would have at least one prior because commenters make it seem like that would make the outcome of a permanent RO and TO favorable. BM's mother DOES have a record though. Harassment, trespassing, and domestic violence. I shared this with the police as well.\n\nEither way, I was able to get a temporary restraining order today, so there's that. I gave the camera footage to the police alongside copies of the texts (printed out and on USB), gave a statement, and they called a judge to get the TRO issued. I talked with them about other things like self-defense recommendations, overhauling my security system, getting a gun for protection, and so on. I was really anxious and just kept talking because it finally hit me that these people know where I live and they're willing to make the 6 hours to harass me and get inside my home.\n\nThe texts and voice-messages haven't stopped (I unblocked and muted). There are direct and indirect threats. BM's mother is adamant that since I have an entire house to myself, a stable job, and no children, I \"will\" be housing HS or she'd give me the @ss-whopping my dad should've.\n\nHS has only left one voice-message about coming over later today and that she's staying with me because \"that's what blood does, they help.\" When there was no response, she sent multiple texts telling me I need to be more understanding, that she's in a tough spot, and that she's moving in \"for at least a week\" until she's able to support herself (it's 7 days to gain tenancy here).\n\nAdditional clarification for people asking about the age gap. I'm a February 1st baby, HS is a November 29th baby. I say \"exactly\" 9 months because I'm not counting the weeks and days - just felt that people knowing we're the same age was relevant and gave context to why I have no relationship with her. I don't know if she was premature. I never asked tbh and there are people saying they have similar gaps around them, so I have nothing to add.\n\nMultiple people also asked if I hate HS and that I sound resentful for things she said as a child and for things her parents did. In my first post, I talked to someone in the comments and admitted that had this been a few years earlier, I may have helped HS without much thought. I know as children, she was just parroting her parents. I don't fault her for that nor do I blame her for BM abandoning me.\n\nBut it's been 17 years. We've been legal adults for 7 of those years. She could've reached out at any point, but didn't and said she had no sister. I also could've reached out at any point, but also didn't. I just moved on with my life - I was in therapy since I was abandoned and it took me years to move on from no one on that side actually wanting me.\n\nNow she's making herself a problem. BM's mother aside, HS was sitting on my porch with a suitcase ready to force herself into my home and life. She allowed herself to be driven 6 hours to my home, sat on my porch for half an hour, and then lied to police all after I said no multiple times. She never claimed me until she needed something and now she's forcing herself into my life on the basis of being family.\n\nI don't hate her, that's too much energy, but I do resent her now alongside her grandmother and the rest of her family. I was ignored for YEARS and now I feel unsafe in my own home just because HS and those around her can't take \"no\" for an answer. This isn't about BM's affair, this is about HS and her family ruining my safe space, my home, with their crap. The past is a factor in that resentment now because, again, I haven't spoken to her in 17 years, I didn't know what she looked like, but suddenly we're sisters because she needs someplace to stay. I definitely resent that.\n\nAlso, I feel validated in my choices - posting to Reddit, asking for and taking advice, listening to my dad. The attorney I spoke to pretty much said all the same things commenters have. Unblocking and muting to get and evidence of harassment. Calling the cops and showing them the messages because it proves there was no implied invitation. This is apparently the biggest thing I had to worry about because even letting HS stay on my porch could've worked against me.\n\nGiving the cops the camera footage of HS and BM's mother looking for a spare key was also a good move. Even going about upgrading security, getting self-defense items, and asking the officers about self-defense recommendations and my wish to get a gun for protection works in my favor - it shows that even though this was HS's first offense, I don't feel safe and she's a major cause of that. And I don't.\n\nSo thank you again for all the advice. If they show up like they said, I'm gonna set off my security system and call the cops.\n\nEdit (from a comment) It wasn't \"active\" [the TRO] when I posted the update because they hadn't been served yet. They were found at a hotel near my home and were served (a neighbor saw them and called the police). I was reporting the texts though. The TRO is on both HS and BM's mother.\n\n​\n\nComments\n\nOOP:My neighbors, friends, and family are all on rotation watching the house and I have my grandparents with me. Grandpa is 6'2\", carries at all times, and is pretty intimidating (in the opinion of others at least). My dad is similar alongside my uncle and a friend that's gonna sleepover tonight.\n\nThe signs are now up and was part of the lawyer's advice, so you definitely have the right idea! Cease and desists have also been filed for everyone else harassing me and so far, no one's showing up on my property like they said they would. Hopefully it stays that way","offTopic":false},{"id":"70a0829f-b6dd-4004-b4ec-bcc64d641da1","excerpt":"AIO if I just go on holiday and not come back? — **I am not the OOP, OOP is** u/[throwawayhinutcase](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwawayhinutcase/)\n\n**Originally posted to** r/[AmIOverreacting](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/)\n\n**Do not comment on original posts. Latest update is 7 days old.**\n\n**Trigger wa","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1sj1y84/aio_if_i_just_go_on_holiday_and_not_come_back/","role":"request","weight":1.2502,"occurredAt":"2026-04-12T02:19:20.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"purchase_intent","painScore":0.33,"sentiment":0.31983805,"confidence":0.94,"matchedPatterns":["wish","terrible","would_pay"],"statement":"I pay rent, do half the cleaning, washing, organise and prep all meals and just generally look after her.","title":"AIO if I just go on holiday and not come back?","body":"**I am not the OOP, OOP is** u/[throwawayhinutcase](https://www.reddit.com/user/throwawayhinutcase/)\n\n**Originally posted to** r/[AmIOverreacting](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/)\n\n**Do not comment on original posts. Latest update is 7 days old.**\n\n**Trigger warnings:** >!verbal and physical abuse, harassment, religion-related trauma !<\n\n**Mood Spoilers:** >!positive!<\n\n**\\*\\*\\***\n\n[**AIO if I just go on holiday and not come back?**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1qfe8xd/aio_if_i_just_go_on_holiday_and_not_come_back) **- January 17, 2026**\n\nI don't really know how to start this because I'm just kinda done. I'm a closeted gay person and currently live with my extremely homophobic jehovahs witness mother. She's 73, has a stomach ulcer, and whiles not abusive, she can just be so hard to deal with sometimes. I pay rent, do half the cleaning, washing, organise and prep all meals and just generally look after her. My other siblings are all no or low contact, with the exception of my sister who lives far away and has kids of her own. I understand and respect why my siblings have decided to limit harm by going no or low contact, but it means that it's just me here left on my own when my mum is screaming about how nobody cares about her and how everyone would be happier if she died, or goes on long rants about how \"Wordly people are so disgusting, I'm so glad jehovah is going to cleanse the earth of them soon\" I love my mum but I can't keep doing this.\n\nMy mum is a fairly large woman and I am not. She's about 5'5 and about 90kg whereas I am a small barely 5'1 73kg person. My mum can and has physically dragged me around by my hair as an adult. I do understand why she did, but it was incredibly upsetting. A few years ago we got into an argument, my mum has a habit of physically pushing me out of the way if I try to talk her down and encourage her to sit down and talk things through. This particular time I admittedly lost my rag, I got so angry and just grabbed her hands hands to try and stop her from pushing past me. I know I should never have put my hands on her, but I just desperately needed for her to listen to me for two seconds. She got upset, grabbed me by my hair, lightly punched me in the ribs maybe a dozen times whiles dragging me upstairs to the shower and hosed me off. I know it was my fault but it did upset me. I would go into more detail but I tend to explain wrong and people start saying things like \"perpetrator\" and \"I might need to write a report\" she's never broken any bones or left visible bruises so it's not abuse. She's just a deeply traumatised old lady and I triggered her.\n\nPart of the reason I want to leave without saying anything is because when my sister got married at 18 mum didn't take it well, started ranting that she'd abandoned us, even though mum literally walked her down the Isle, started turning up to their house at night hammering on the door when they weren't even home. Mum has and will physically block the door with her body, forcibly take my keys, and physically manhandle me if she feels I'm doing something wrong. She's old and whiles I might be able to physically overpower her, I just don't have that fight in me, plus I might hurt her. I just don't know what else to do\n\nTLDR; I'm at the end of my rope and I'm scheduled to go on holiday with my sister in march. Will I be overreacting if I just grab an extra bag of stuff and just not go home?\n\n**Relevant /Top Comments**\n\n**Commenter 1:** You’re not overreacting at all. That’s straight up abuse, and you’re allowed to leave unsafe situations without a dramatic confrontation or giving her “closure.”\n\nIf you and your sister can swing it, use that trip as your exit plan, line up somewhere to stay, move important docs ahead of time, and just… don’t go back. You don’t owe your mom your sanity or your safety just because everyone else tapped out first.\n\n>**OOP:** This is kinda what I was thinking. But I do feel incredibly guilty. My mum isn't always this bad. I just get scared because she always screams \"you don't seem very happy here, you should find your own place to live\" but I know in practice she'd just bar the door. She knows it shuts me up\n\n  \n**Commenter 2:** She's a old lady who's abusive, you owe her nothing. Leave and never go back, she forfeited any obligation you may have had when she laid hands on you. Being a child to an elderly parent doesn't mean you stay to be abused.\n\nGo live your life, other people can come in manage your mother, it's not your duty or job, this stranger gives you permission to go.\n\n>**OOP:** I don't know if they will though. She hates \"worldly\" people and my siblings have gone through some truly abusive things due to her.\n\n>**Commenter 3:** That's not your problem, you're not her punchbag.\n\n  \n**Commenter 4:** You tried to stop her from going past you by grabbing her hands, and she responds by grabbing your hair, “lightly” punching you in the ribs multiple times, and dragging you upstairs to “hose you off”? This is in no way your fault: That’s abuse, pure and simple, and you need to get out. Abuse isn’t just bruises or broken bones, and many times abuse leaves no visible marks on a body. But your writing that what’s happened to you is “your fault” shows how badly you’ve been abused mentally. Her trauma is not your fault, and marks or not she’s abusing you both mentally and physically.\n\nPlease, please get out now. You can try to help her when you’re out by getting social services involved, but once you’re out do not go back. And please contact a therapist so you can talk all this out with someone: You need to work this true for your own sake.\n\nPlease put yourself first and get out.\n\n>**OOP:** You have to understand that from her perspective I am just a disrespectful and potentially dangerous child. Even if I'm a legal adult. She most likely panicked because her dad and my dad were incredibly abusive, plus I challenged her authority whiles she was already upset. I can understand why she reacted like that, even though it was upsetting. I'm also highly biased because I only have my perspective\n\n>**Commenter 4:** I do understand your concerns, and I can understand how you feel that way. But you are an adult, and you don’t have to put up with punching and other forms of “discipline.” If you don’t do any thing else, at least go for therapy. You deserve to see what’s really going on, and to work through these issues. You do not deserve to live with such anxiety all the time. I care that you get out of a bad situation that can result in harm to you. Please put your health and safety first.\n\n\\*\\*\\*\n\n[**AIO? My mum or my sister told the police I have learning difficulties because I moved out without telling them in advance.**](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/comments/1scf2xa/aio_my_mum_or_my_sister_told_the_police_i_have/) **- April 4, 2026 (\\~3 months after original)**\n\n*(Post starts with several screenshots of texts sent between OOP and their family, as well as the police.)*\n\nhiya I posted here a couple months ago about quietly moving out whiles on holiday. Whoever told me that my mum would report my \"disappearance\" to the police, you were right on the money and I'm sorry for not believing you. Anyways if anyone wants an update here it is. I'm safe, happy, and dobby is a free bitch. just getting everything sorted. thank you so much for all your advice. little bit annoyed my 3rd sister is being nice to my face whiles telling my 2nd sister that I have learning difficulties and I'm \"technically a vulnerable adult\" but eh. it is why I didn't tell her my new address tho. sorry\n\n**Transcript of text messages:**\n\n[***Image 1***](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Faio-my-mum-or-my-sister-told-the-police-i-have-learning-v0-5je7y4yxj7tg1.jpg%3Fwidth%3D720%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D14de52a281c6a148ea9caafd4c621cd4f73c8a9a) ***-*** *texts between OOP and their mum*\n\n*Monday, March 30 13:27*\n\n**OOP's mum:** Are u ok? Is anything wrong, let me know 🙏\n\n*13:35*\n\n**OOP's mum:** Is everything OK\n\n*15:24*\n\n**OOP:** I think you're right, I'm not happy. So I've decided to take your advice and find somewhere else to live. Love you mum. Hope you're okay\n\n*15:28*\n\n**OOP's mum:** Where? \n\n*15:30*\n\n**OOP's mum:** Are you ok?love you too ...hope you are okay\n\n*15:37*\n\n**OOP's mum:** Please come home 🏡\n\n*16:05*\n\n**OOP's mum:** Please let me know where you are\n\n*16:06*\n\n**OOP's mum:** I'm 😟 worried\n\n*16:09*\n\n**OOP's mum:** All your clothes are here x x\n\n\\--  \n[***Image 2***](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Faio-my-mum-or-my-sister-told-the-police-i-have-learning-v0-69pqx80yj7tg1.jpg%3Fwidth%3D921%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D4be022feec893c0d9130d07ab101887f94f05811) *- text from the police*\n\n*Monday, March 30 16:40*\n\n**Police:** This is the South Yorkshire Police. Please use the following link to start a chat: \\[blurred out link\\]\n\n\\--\n\n[***Image 3***](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Faio-my-mum-or-my-sister-told-the-police-i-have-learning-v0-goi2om1yj7tg1.jpg%3Fwidth%3D921%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D6667378dab0d0e0d86e5c3ad51805a254b517bb1) *- texts appear to be between OOP and the \"3rd sister\" mentioned in the post*\n\n*Date unclear, 12:28*\n\n**OOP's sister:** Hi Hun. The council won't accept that you moved out - they need a forwarding address for you. If you don't want me to give it to mum - are you able to tell me and I'll let them know? x\n\n*13:46*\n\n**OOP:** I've updated the council\n\n*13:47* \n\n**OOP's sister:** Thanks Hun **😘**\n\n*13:47*\n\n**OOP:** I let uc know. Will they talk to each other\n\n*13:48* \n\n**OOP's sister:** I don't think so. Did someone call you? \n\n*13:49*\n\n**OOP's sister:** If you don't mind me knowing your address, I'll not tell Mum and she can tell anyone to call me and I can give it to them x\n\n*14:09*\n\n**OOP:** I've requested contact from the council \n\n*14:13*\n\n**OOP's sister:** You have to tell the bank too.\n\n*14:15*\n\n**OOP's sister:**  \\[REDACTED\\] - choose Housing Benefit and tell them as well **😘**\n\n\\--\n\n[***Image 4***](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Faio-my-mum-or-my-sister-told-the-police-i-have-learning-v0-7uhs683yj7tg1.jpg%3Fwidth%3D944%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D3e67fc2f5be42efc936ce8be30942aa3b73c1929) *- screenshot appears to be texts sent between OOP's sisters, presumably sent to them by the \"2nd sister\" noted in the post.*\n\n*Date unclear, 15:36*\n\n**OOP's 3rd sister:** Hi Hun. Are you ok? Is \\[OOP\\] with you? Or has she been on holiday with you? x\n\n*16:10*\n\n**OOP's 3rd sister:** It's fine if she is - my mum is just worried about her as she's technically a vulnerable adult. She just wants to make sure she's ok x\n\n*16:17*\n\n*Missed voice call from OOP's 3rd sister*\n\n\\--\n\n[***Image 5***](https://www.reddit.com/media?url=https%3A%2F%2Fpreview.redd.it%2Faio-my-mum-or-my-sister-told-the-police-i-have-learning-v0-3dhvmp4yj7tg1.jpg%3Fwidth%3D921%26format%3Dpjpg%26auto%3Dwebp%26s%3D46347c6539f6a9697460e83c01bd0891640a30e4) *- texts appear to be between OOP and the 3rd sister*\n\n*Date unclear, 17:57*\n\n**OOP's sister:** Mum is panicking that someone has stolen your phone and it's not really you on text. Can you send me or her a voice note please on WhatsApp saying that it is you and you are moving out. She's very upset.\n\n*10:44*\n\n**OOP:** \\[REDACTED\\] Who else would know details? Mum is going to be paranoid whatever I do. It's why I chose to leave quietly\n\n*10:47*\n\n**OOP's sister:** I know but the way you've done it is not very nice. I get why you've left quietly  but she's been caring for you for such a long time that it's come as a shock to her. She's really worried about you X\n\n*10:48*\n\n**OOP's sister:** And why haven't you give us any details! I get why she worries someone has taken your phone and you!\n\n*10:49*\n\n**OOP:** I've spoken to the police you called\n\n*10:51*\n\n**OOP's sister:** Mum","offTopic":false},{"id":"8eec61f6-8b40-471a-9bf6-0e6b51128938","excerpt":"Me [22F] with my fellow student [22F], is trying to blackmail me into writing her thesis — **I am not The OOP, OOP is u/julie586** \n\n**Me [22F] with my fellow student [22F], is trying to blackmail me into writing her thesis.** \n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/HdZWF9y6Qt)  **May 31, 2016** \n\nI'","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1uh6fc6/me_22f_with_my_fellow_student_22f_is_trying_to/","role":"request","weight":1.222,"occurredAt":"2026-06-27T16:00:40.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"problem_report","painScore":0.3,"sentiment":0.6,"confidence":0.94,"matchedPatterns":["how_can_i","doesnt_work","urgent"],"statement":"Well, that wouldn't be the case but everyone seems to agree that IP address tracking doesn't work the way I imagined so she doesn't really have anything on me, right?","title":"Me [22F] with my fellow student [22F], is trying to blackmail me into writing her thesis","body":"**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/julie586** \n\n**Me [22F] with my fellow student [22F], is trying to blackmail me into writing her thesis.** \n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/HdZWF9y6Qt)  **May 31, 2016** \n\nI'm at my wits end with this very effed up situation with my fellow student Danielle. I will be a bit vague here because a lot of my friends use reddit. \n\nDanielle and I are in college, we're both working on our Bachelor's degree. We started out as friends but our relationship got a bit weird. She was often acting really entitled and like I had to cater to her every need. She would also scream at me often, especially when we were out partying. Because of that, I decided to not spend any more time with her around last Christmas. However, in the two years I was \"friends\" with her, she naturally learned a lot about me. Some of those things could definitely get me into (legal) trouble. \n\nI haven't talked to Danielle in a few months but I heard that she is having trouble keeping up with her courses. Some weeks ago she showed up at my place (drunk) and told me that she expects me to write her Thesis (it's a 50 page essay we have to hand in until July and it will be crucial to finishing our degree) or else she will tell everyone (including the police) about the stuff I did. And yes, she also has proof. \n\nI thought it was a stupid joke or that she was just super drunk until I came home yesterday and found a note from her saying the same exact thing and a USB stick with her working title and some ebooks I should include in my writing. \n\nReddit, what do I do here? Write the damn thing for her? Don't, and risk her going to the police? I can't really risk that though, she could get me in serious trouble. I have spoken to one friend of mine and he told me to write it but write it badly. Idk if that's such a good idea? Also, I still have to finish up my own thesis, I have no idea if I will even be able to write hers in time? \n\n**tl;dr**: Fellow college student knows some things about me that could get me into serious trouble. She now wants me to write a 50 page essay for her, how do I avoid this? \n\nEDIT: I was hoping I didn't have to say what I did but here goes: I had a short fling with one of the assistant professors (he didn't know I was a student there though, it was a complicated situation), anyway, I got my hands on some exam sheets and sent them to several friends including Danielle. So her proof is that email with the attachment, it's pretty solid proof. I sent it from my \"spam email adress\" that I normally don't use, which doesn't have my name in it but I'm sure they could backtrack it with IP adress and so on. There is no way I will come clean to the University as I will probably get expelled. I should also add that in the note I got from her, she is explicitely accusing me of that (with name of the course, date of the exam), so I am very reluctant to show it to anyone. \n\n\n**RELEVANT COMMENTS** \n\n**cortesoft** \n\n> Nah, they can't \"backtrack it to find the ip\"\n>\n> I am a network engineer with a lot of experience with email.\n>\n> Whoever is your email provider (i.e. google if you use gmail) would have logs of the IP address you were using when you send your emails, and your IP address for when you check your email. How long they keep those logs varies from provider to provider, but it isn't going to be something they keep for years.\n>\n> The person (and email provider) you send email to, however, would not know your IP address. They only know the IP of your email provider.\n>\n> Let's say you committed a serious crime; the cops would have to go to your provider (say, gmail) with a warrant and ask for the IP addresses you accessed the email from. Then, they would have to find which ISP controls those IP addresses, and ask them who those addresses were assigned to at that time. Again, that is not data they hold onto forever. Lastly, they would have to find out which person was using the address - if you are in a shared apartment, or were accessing a public wifi, that would be impossible.\n>\n> The cops aren't going to do this for something as minor as academic fraud (which is probably not even a crime, merely an honor code violation), and google (or whoever your email provider is) isn't going to turn that data over without a warrant.\n>\n> I would NOT worry about your IP being tracked. \n\n**~** \n\n**Tangential_Diversion** \n\n> Blackmail is illegal. Googling \"[State Name] + Blackmail Law\" should  give you the relevant laws.\n>\n> If you have proof she was going to blackmail you in writing of some kind (e.g. text), then kindly inform her to fuck off. \n\n[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/eKjFAiVvJA)  **June 2, 2016 (2 days later)**\n\n\nHi everyone and thanks so much for all your great advice in my [original post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/4lxsvk/me_22f_with_my_fellow_student_22f_is_trying_to/) \n\nTl;dr of OP: A fellow student is trying to blackmail me into writing her thesis. If I don't, she said she would tell \"everyone\" what I did (sleep with an assistant professor and send a picture of some exam sheets to friends). \n\nFirst off, I wanted to clarify something because there seems to be a misunderstanding regarding my edit in the OP: The exam sheets I sent to my friends were of a completely unrelated course and we didn't actually \"use\" them, so there was no cheating involved or something. Here's what happened and I'm aware that this makes me look super stupid: \n\nI met a guy, let's call him Tom, at the place where I work part-time. He asked me out on a date, and we had three dates as a whole. He obviously thought I worked full-time at that place we met. He on the other hand told me he was a researcher (maybe because it sounds more exciting than being a professor at 28? or maybe he's both?). I know it might sound unbelievable that me being a student never came up, but we both had travelled a bit and mainly talked about that. After three dates I slept at his place for the first time and when he went to buy breakfast in the morning I looked around a bit in his apartment and there were some exam sheets on his desk (there was one with the answer key and then some exams that were already taken by students, so he was correcting those tests). I texted a friend of mine (not Danielle): Oh shit, I think he's a professor. \n\nFriend texts back: No way, he's too young! Proof? (She had seen pictures of him) \n\nI then took a pic of the answer sheet and sent an email to four friends of mine (including Danielle) writing something really douchey along the lines of: This is how you get yourself through college or something. (It was supposed to be funny, but I cringed typing that) \n\nI realize now that I was actually super lucky, because I lost my iPhone that week and had to use an old phone of mine without what's app, where the email app was not linked to my college email adress. So that's why I didn't just send the pic via app but had to send it over email with my old spam email adress. I hadn't used that address in at least 5 years and that was the only time I used it because the next day, I got my iPhone back. Also, just as a side note, when Tom came back from getting breakfast I said I had to go because I had classes. He looked pretty shocked, then I told him I only work at [work place] part-time and I'm also a student. He just said good-bye and that's the last I ever saw (or heard) of him. So we never contacted each other again. I later found him on the website's homepage, he is indeed a professor, but for a completely different course. (Like, if I would study communications and he would teach microbiology). I hope this makes him look less like a \"predator\", as some commenters have called him. \n\nSo the thing Danielle has on me is actually not cheating on a test but sleeping with a prof and taking pics of exam sheets (even though completely unrelated to my courses) as a proof of being at his place/ presumably sleeping with him. Now that I think of it though, she doesn't really have evidence on that. The picture I took only shows the piece of paper on a wooden desk. I could have found it on campus or something. She also knows of smoking weed but as many of you have pointed out, that is not something the police would be interested in. \n\nAnyway, I read through all your comments. Some of you said that she would incriminate herself by outing me because she cheated on an exam. Well, that wouldn't be the case but everyone seems to agree that IP address tracking doesn't work the way I imagined so she doesn't really have anything on me, right? \n\nI still don't really want to go to the police, especially because of Tom, because he's a genuinely nice guy. I actually thought about contacting him again after I finish my degree, but don't know if that's a good idea. I'm still afraid if Danielle went to the college or police, just saying that a professor was sleeping with a student, they wouldn't even need any evidence and still launch an investigation because it's such a touchy subject. So, I'm not sure about that. I think the best course of action would be to write Danielle something like this: \n\nHello Danielle, \nunfortunately, I have no idea what you are talking about. I have never sent out any exam answers but what you are doing sounds a lot like blackmail which is illegal to my knowledge. For the sake of our old friendship I will not directly go to the police for now, as I'm suspecting you didn't really mean what you said in your note. I heard that [tutor] is great at helping students get started with their thesis and I'm sure he can help you. \n\nWhat do you think? Or just ignore? \n\nI also talked to the other three girls involved and they all deleted the email and as they're not in contact with Danielle either, I don't think I need to worry about them. \n\n**tl;dr**: Not sure if I should deny or ignore Danielle completely? \n\n**RELEVANT COMMENTS** \n\n**teardrop87** \n\n>Quit trying to play nice here. Take the thumb drive she gave you and all the communications you have from her to the professor in charge of the thesis. Tell them exactly what she wants you to do, and tell them she's saying she'll tell everyone you slept with a professor and stole answers for a test while he was grading them. You did neither of those things, but you know what those kinds of accusations can do to a student, much less what ever professor she decides you slept with. Ask what they plan to do about it, because there's no way you're writting her thesis, but you don't want to get in trouble for something you didn't do. \n\n**OOP** \n\n>>I think that's actually a good idea. In my last thread, many people told me to just deny everything but it seems I didn't really do anything illegal and I think she actually deserves to have this brought to the attention of her professor. \n\n**~** \n\n**RandomPantsAppear** \n\n> \"I then took a pic of the answer sheet and sent an email to four friends of mine (including Danielle) writing something really douchey along the lines of: This is how you get yourself through college or something. (It was supposed to be funny, but I cringed typing that)\"\n>\n> This is seriously what this is all about? Yeah, your reply works but why were you ever taking this seriously?\n>\n> I doubt the professor would even get in trouble. He didn't know you were a student, you weren't in his field, and he stopped immediately after finding out. Both of you can corroborate this.\n>\n> This girl has so little on you I'm amazed you even took it seriously. \n\n**OOP** \n\n>>I'm really relieved, Danielle (and my group of friends) have been giving me shit for this ever since it happened, pretending like it's the most disgusting thing in the world to sleep with an older guy and always making jokes about him/ us going to jail for it. \n\nEDIT: Ok, seems like I actually did nothing wrong. Or at least nothing illegal. I'm not going to reply to Danielle and I'm heading over to her professor in an hour to tell him about the bl","offTopic":false},{"id":"db28c0f0-d14d-42a0-9c04-28fe668d8022","excerpt":"For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house — **I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThatOneCloneTrooper** \n\n**For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house.** \n\n**Originally posted to r/c","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1thbgiz/for_months_i_was_confused_why_i_kept_finding_long/","role":"request","weight":1.2164766,"occurredAt":"2026-05-19T04:00:04.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"feature_request","painScore":0.29412404,"sentiment":0.10526316,"confidence":0.94,"matchedPatterns":["how_can_i","missing_feature","urgent"],"statement":"Primarily just hairs everywhere and missing food.","title":"For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house","body":"**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ThatOneCloneTrooper** \n\n**For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house.** \n\n**Originally posted to r/creepyencounters** \n\n**Thanks to u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU** \n\n**TRIGGER WARNING:** >!Stalking, invasion of privacy, breaking and entry!< \n\n**MOOD SPOILER:** >!Extremely creepy!< \n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/s/NwTl5MCiiS)  **May 6, 2026** \n\nI'm a man in my 20s that lives alone on the very top floor of an apartment block. I've had short hair for the last 10 years of my life. The longest hair on my head is maybe an inch long if that even. However, across my house I kept finding long hairs on the floor. Like, long brunette hairs, at least 5-6 inches. Sometimes longer. And they would be everywhere. Bathroom floor, in the shower, in my cupboard, in my kitchen, on old clothes, living room floor and sofas etc etc. \n\nI've been single since November and clean often enough that I'm certain it's not my ex-girlfriends' hairs. Plus the colour doesn't match anyway, she had solid black hair, these are more a light brunette. Plus, finding them in the places like the shower? Where running water is hitting all the sides 5+ times a week? \n\nAnyway, I waved it off as \"well I work with a lot of people and use the gym and bus sometimes so naturally hairs are going to stick to my clothes\"... \n\nWell. One day (this past April) I finished my early am gym session and got the call that I didn't have to go work that day, so naturally I start to walk home all happy that I have the day to myself. I'm on the 5th floor (the upper most floor) of the building and the apartment is in such a way that there is only 1 apartment per floor. I start to hustle up the stairs and don't use the elevator since I'm sweaty from the gym anyway. \n\nJUST as I whip a right to go up the last set of stairs from the 4th floor to the 5th floor I see my neighbour's (on the 3rd floor) daughter coming down the stairs. We lock eye-contact. We've never spoken before, mostly because we've never had a reason to but also because out of respect I didn't want to make her uncomfortable since she's 19-21ish and I'm slightly older. The most interaction we've had is that I've spoken to her mother and father before when bumping into each other on the stairs. \n\nI gave a confused \"hello?\" - at this point I'm thinking that she maybe went to knock on my door to ask for something? A cup of sugar maybe I don't know? I was expecting her to reply with something like \"oh hi, do you have any xyz\"... \n\nNope. She gave a silent \"hey\" and brushed right past me. And only then when the smell of my own shampoo hit me did I notice her hair was wet. Like. Fresh out the shower a minute ago wet. \n\nNow I'm not saying she showered in my house. Or that I have a stalker that's been living in my house while I've been at work. She very easily could have just been there to ask for something. And most generic brand shampoos smell the same. \n\nBut don't the pieces all fit a bit too well? Her hair colour matches the hairs I would find around my apartment. And like I said before, they were EVERYWHERE. In my bed to in my sock draws. \n\nAnd if it is a case of me having a stalker? How did she know I came home early enough to bolt out the shower in time? Our apartment doesn't have cameras, its an older building from before 2000. And why would she be stalking me? For how long has she been doing this? We've never dated, never had a proper conversation, I maybe saw her 20 times in the past 2 years given that I work and she (presumably) studies or works too. \n\nAs all these thoughts are buzzing through my head and I'm standing outside my door for a solid 2 minutes grappling with what just happened. I go to turn the key to my door and it opens without me having to unlock it. And I know for a fact I always double lock my door. It's the type with a lock near waist level and a 2nd more secure lock with a different key around shoulder level. \n\nI drop my bag, throw off my shoes and run to the shower. And yep. It's wet. I hadn't showered since yesterday morning. \n\nI'm a confrontational person, not that I go looking for fights but I'll definitely pursue an answer if something is bugging me. So back down the stairs to the 3rd floor I went, knocked on the door of my apparent stalker and her family. She opens the door but with the chain still on. I see half of her face from behind the door. \n\n\"Yes?\" - \"Umm can I help? Were you at my door or inside? I don't want to make this a police thing now but you came down the stairs and I know you were inside?\" - \"I just had to get something, it won't happen again.. ok bye see you\" \n\nDoor closed. \n\nThis happened last month, I've been cleaning my house every weekend closely now and got the locks changed and put a motion sensor camera above my door. It only films and triggers on the steps coming up to my door so the 4th apartment still have their privacy. \n\nSo far so good, I don't think she's been inside since. But looking back, I think she'd been living in or going in or whatever in to my apartment since January because that's my earliest memory of finding hairs. She never took anything of value like my laptop or the few watches I have. Seemingly she just showered and ate some of my food and laid in my bed? \n\nI do now also always take the elevator and avoid the 3rd floor like the plague. \n\nEDIT: I'm not really worried about my safety because 1. I'm 200lb and do a lot of fighting training and 2. The new camera has never gone off once since installed other than myself triggering it when I'm home. Finally 3. I told the old retired husband and wife on the 4th floor that I suspected a robber was trying to break into my apartment last month (I didn't want to start spreading rumours and gossip) and asked them to keep an ear out when I'm at work. I feel fine and safe. Just creeped out. Like my personal space had been violated. \n\nEDIT 2: Someone DMed me to check my coats and bags for airtags as to how maybe she knew I was coming home early that day. I don't have a lot of stuff so I think I would have 100% found it by now given how often I clean but I'll defo do another sweep of my stuff. \n\n[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/s/M7KPGs4hHx)  **May 12, 2026** \n\n(Re-upload - Mod said first post broke rule 6 so I've taken a bunch of details out)\n\n\n\nHi all, update following my last post a week back about me catching neighbour coming out of my apartment having used my shower.\n\n\n\nMy cousin’s husband is a police officer so I went to him directly about filing a report. He came over to my apartment first as I gave him a visual break down of what happened on the stairs and changes odd things I’d noticed in my apartment since January. Primarily just hairs everywhere and missing food. And how my door was unlocked that day. Though I did a thorough clean following the event on the stairs my police friend was able to still find some hairs and so he bagged those up.\n\n\n\nI gave him my statement in detail and some dates best I could, when I remember finding the first hair; when I first noticed food going missing etc.\n\n\n\nAlso he advised me not to talk to the family not even with a friend to avoid any confusion or get lawyers involved or muddy the waters with accusations.\n\n\n\nWith all that done he left and came back 2-3 days later. He and his partner went to talk to the family on Sunday because they knew both parents would likely be home then. Long story short she confessed to everything immediately and broke down into tears and apologised once my police friend brought up how 5 months of entering someone’s house even with keys is still very much an offence and she could easily end up with a sentence of some should I pursue it. And that that sentence could very easily involve the inside of a jail cell irregardless of if she stole something or not. (I don’t know how true this is, it might have just been my friend and his partner pressing and exaggerating for a confession but it worked). \n\n\n\nThey talked for an hour with the parents and her all in the same room to get answers from her. Then the same day he came up to mine with his partner and they gave me the breakdown.\n\n\n\nAnswers to commonly asked questions below:\n\n\n\n⁃ **how did she get in/have her own keys?** The locks on our doors are the type that use a code on the lock barrel that only the manufacturer or partnered/approved locksmiths have access to. She knew this because her parents got the locks changed when they first moved in. And in fact she used the same locksmith from all the way back then. \n\n\n\nThe locksmith presumably remembered the family and apartment but just didn’t pay attention to it being the 5th floor this time instead of her own 3rd floor. So he came over and took the barrel out, saw the code, went and made a set of keys and done. I was none the wiser. Both my locks on my door are different brands but presumably they operate in the same way so having 2 locks made no difference.\n\n\n\n⁃ **what was she doing in my apartment?** Anyone who said she just needed space, you were right. She has 2 younger step-siblings and her mother is a tutor (not a teacher as I presumed previously, she tutors at home) so at any given point there’s always some kids around the house. She would say to her parents she was going out to study or work or a girl friends house and use my house as a hotel while she studied or relaxed. The reason she used mine was partly because she knew it would be empty but also because my schedule was predictable. As I work an average 9-5 like everyone else but leave the house at 6-6:30 to get gym done too that essentially gave her the house from 6 to 5.\n\n\n\n⁃ **How long?** My guess was right. It started in January, once she figured I’d broken up with my gf at the time around November. My gf would stay at mine when I went to work and back sometimes so yea that would have been an interesting situation if they had crossed paths.\n\n\n\n⁃ **So then how did she knew I was coming home early that day? And that I wasn’t going to work straight after gym like usual and so she bolted out the shower? Or on the days I didn’t go gym how did she know not to come in?** Two fold. Firstly I go to a commercial gym in my country and so they have an app. Irregardless of if you’re a member or not, one of the things the app lets you see is how many people are in each branch so you can see how full it is. All you have to do is download it and scan the QR code at the entrance by the turnstiles to add it to the “my gyms” tab. It literally shows you like “Branch No. 21 (Address) - 9/50 - 18% full”, she would refresh the app in the morning and if it went up by 1 around 6-6:30am and she heard me go downstairs or use the elevator (not hard when it’s 6am and the apartment is otherwise silent) then she would know the house is empty. \n\n\n\nNow for the creepiest most messed up bit of it all. She had put an AirTag on my car. She insisted that she had only put it recently and initially just presumably gambled that I wouldn’t be home sooner than expected (or maybe she just put an ear to the door), but then one thing lead to another and yea. (I don’t know how much I believe this, again this could be an attempt to not look so guilty) \n\n\n\nThat day when we clashed she refreshed the app and saw I left the gym, but then my car didn’t move, she connected the dots and tried to leave asap. When she heard me coming up the stairs she didn’t have time to lock up and so we met on the stairs with my door remaining closed but not locked. (Extra detail, the AirTag was stuck to under my car).\n\n\n\n⁃ **The using my shower?** She claims she didn’t do it always just on hot days or days she couldn’t at home. I can’t deny or confirm this, like I said previously being a gym goer id shower 5+ times a week so.\n\n\n\n⁃ **How did her parents never notice?** Well the dad leaves early for work, 5am ish since his bus route starts around 6. The ","offTopic":false},{"id":"332d5ff5-a7e8-4af8-99fc-35e4933cb5b9","excerpt":"AITAH for not helping my half-sister after she was kicked out? — HawkeyeinDC\n\nThis is crazy. Why is no one on the maternal side stepping up? And how old is this half-sister?\n\nIt also just seems SO bizarre that your maternal grandmother would drive a 12 hour round trip to basically ditch your half-sister with you….\n\n​\n\n","url":"https://programming.dev/comment/5096358","role":"demand","weight":1.0843669,"occurredAt":"2023-11-23T08:50:22.347Z","sourceKey":"lemmy","sourceName":"Lemmy","credibility":0.58,"venue":"programming.dev","intent":"tool_discovery","painScore":0.56484026,"sentiment":-0.7222222,"confidence":0.6929569,"matchedPatterns":["looking_for","i_hate"],"statement":"Multiple people also asked if I hate HS and that I sound resentful for things she said as a child and for things her parents did.","title":"AITAH for not helping my half-sister after she was kicked out?","body":"HawkeyeinDC\n\nThis is crazy. Why is no one on the maternal side stepping up? And how old is this half-sister?\n\nIt also just seems SO bizarre that your maternal grandmother would drive a 12 hour round trip to basically ditch your half-sister with you….\n\n​\n\nOOP: She's 24-25, her birthday is close I think. And it is crazy that she drove down here. I know there's far more to this situation and I really don't wanna know. I just want them to leave me be.\n\n​\n\nHawkeyeinDC\n\nI know you don’t plan to let her move in with you, but don’t ever change your mind on that. She’ll likely never leave, won’t pay rent/contribute towards costs, and you’d have to legally evict her. Save yourself the headache!\n\n​\n\nOOP: The nightmare of an eviction process is part of why I don't like the idea of anyone staying with me tbh. It's 7 nights in a row here for guests to become tenants and the one time a friend of mine let someone stay with her, one week turned into six months of court hearings and damaged property. Definitely gonna save myself the headache.\n\n​\n\nUpdate They dropped her off at my house - 13 November 2023\n\nI checked the camera footage last night/this morning. HS and BM's mother had been looking under mats, rocks, in potted plants, the mailbox, and checking the doors. Probably were looking for a spare - I don't keep one on my property and my dad, grandma, and grandpa have keys they keep with theirs. My uncle did an overhaul of mine and dad's cameras. We now have ones that send notifications to our phones when motion is detected. Also got ring doorbells for the front and back doors. There are other features and all the cameras are better hidden as well. I went to the police department while he was doing this and brought my grandpa with me.\n\nHS was booked for trespassing, but not held very long since BM's mother picked her up from the station. They stuck to the lie of me offering HS a place to stay and gave statements. Not sure how that's going to go, but I'm taking steps to protect myself, my property, and my dad and his property.\n\nHS doesn't have a record beyond this, so this was her first offense. I don't know how I feel about that tbh. It sounds awful, but I had hoped she would have at least one prior because commenters make it seem like that would make the outcome of a permanent RO and TO favorable. BM's mother DOES have a record though. Harassment, trespassing, and domestic violence. I shared this with the police as well.\n\nEither way, I was able to get a temporary restraining order today, so there's that. I gave the camera footage to the police alongside copies of the texts (printed out and on USB), gave a statement, and they called a judge to get the TRO issued. I talked with them about other things like self-defense recommendations, overhauling my security system, getting a gun for protection, and so on. I was really anxious and just kept talking because it finally hit me that these people know where I live and they're willing to make the 6 hours to harass me and get inside my home.\n\nThe texts and voice-messages haven't stopped (I unblocked and muted). There are direct and indirect threats. BM's mother is adamant that since I have an entire house to myself, a stable job, and no children, I \"will\" be housing HS or she'd give me the @ss-whopping my dad should've.\n\nHS has only left one voice-message about coming over later today and that she's staying with me because \"that's what blood does, they help.\" When there was no response, she sent multiple texts telling me I need to be more understanding, that she's in a tough spot, and that she's moving in \"for at least a week\" until she's able to support herself (it's 7 days to gain tenancy here).\n\nAdditional clarification for people asking about the age gap. I'm a February 1st baby, HS is a November 29th baby. I say \"exactly\" 9 months because I'm not counting the weeks and days - just felt that people knowing we're the same age was relevant and gave context to why I have no relationship with her. I don't know if she was premature. I never asked tbh and there are people saying they have similar gaps around them, so I have nothing to add.\n\nMultiple people also asked if I hate HS and that I sound resentful for things she said as a child and for things her parents did. In my first post, I talked to someone in the comments and admitted that had this been a few years earlier, I may have helped HS without much thought. I know as children, she was just parroting her parents. I don't fault her for that nor do I blame her for BM abandoning me.\n\nBut it's been 17 years. We've been legal adults for 7 of those years. She could've reached out at any point, but didn't and said she had no sister. I also could've reached out at any point, but also didn't. I just moved on with my life - I was in therapy since I was abandoned and it took me years to move on from no one on that side actually wanting me.\n\nNow she's making herself a problem. BM's mother aside, HS was sitting on my porch with a suitcase ready to force herself into my home and life. She allowed herself to be driven 6 hours to my home, sat on my porch for half an hour, and then lied to police all after I said no multiple times. She never claimed me until she needed something and now she's forcing herself into my life on the basis of being family.\n\nI don't hate her, that's too much energy, but I do resent her now alongside her grandmother and the rest of her family. I was ignored for YEARS and now I feel unsafe in my own home just because HS and those around her can't take \"no\" for an answer. This isn't about BM's affair, this is about HS and her family ruining my safe space, my home, with their crap. The past is a factor in that resentment now because, again, I haven't spoken to her in 17 years, I didn't know what she looked like, but suddenly we're sisters because she needs someplace to stay. I definitely resent that.\n\nAlso, I feel validated in my choices - posting to Reddit, asking for and taking advice, listening to my dad. The attorney I spoke to pretty much said all the same things commenters have. Unblocking and muting to get and evidence of harassment. Calling the cops and showing them the messages because it proves there was no implied invitation. This is apparently the biggest thing I had to worry about because even letting HS stay on my porch could've worked against me.\n\nGiving the cops the camera footage of HS and BM's mother looking for a spare key was also a good move. Even going about upgrading security, getting self-defense items, and asking the officers about self-defense recommendations and my wish to get a gun for protection works in my favor - it shows that even though this was HS's first offense, I don't feel safe and she's a major cause of that. And I don't.\n\nSo thank you again for all the advice. If they show up like they said, I'm gonna set off my security system and call the cops.\n\nEdit (from a comment) It wasn't \"active\" [the TRO] when I posted the update because they hadn't been served yet. They were found at a hotel near my home and were served (a neighbor saw them and called the police). I was reporting the texts though. The TRO is on both HS and BM's mother.\n\n​\n\nComments\n\nOOP:My neighbors, friends, and family are all on rotation watching the house and I have my grandparents with me. Grandpa is 6'2\", carries at all times, and is pretty intimidating (in the opinion of others at least). My dad is similar alongside my uncle and a friend that's gonna sleepover tonight.\n\nThe signs are now up and was part of the lawyer's advice, so you definitely have the right idea! Cease and desists have also been filed for everyone else harassing me and so far, no one's showing up on my property like they said they would. Hopefully it stays that way","offTopic":false},{"id":"eadf31c7-dffa-47d1-a98f-caa7b34034f2","excerpt":"For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house. — [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/1t5ewj8/for_months_i_was_confused_why_i_kept_finding_long/\n\n[2]: https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/1tbabuk/update_for_months_i_w","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/1td046v/for_months_i_was_confused_why_i_kept_finding_long/","role":"request","weight":1.2164766,"occurredAt":"2026-05-14T14:36:45.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BORUpdates","intent":"feature_request","painScore":0.29412404,"sentiment":0.10526316,"confidence":0.94,"matchedPatterns":["how_can_i","missing_feature","urgent"],"statement":"Primarily just hairs everywhere and missing food.","title":"For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house.","body":"[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/1t5ewj8/for_months_i_was_confused_why_i_kept_finding_long/\n\n[2]: https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/comments/1tbabuk/update_for_months_i_was_confused_why_i_kept/\n\n**This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)**\n\n**OOP: u/ThatOneCloneTrooper**\n\n**Published on: r/creepyencounters**\n\n**Thanks to u/IcedWarlock for the recommendation!**\n\n**Story is:** `CONCLUDED`\n\n**Story timeline**\n\n- [**Main Post**][1]**: May 06, 2026**\n\n- [**Final Update**][2]**: May 12, 2026**\n\n---\n\n# Main Post\n\n^(May 06, 2026)\n\n----\n\n[**For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house.**][1]\n\nI'm a man in my 20s that lives alone on the very top floor of an apartment block. I've had short hair for the last 10 years of my life. The longest hair on my head is maybe an inch long if that even. However, across my house I kept finding long hairs on the floor. Like, long brunette hairs, at least 5-6 inches. Sometimes longer. And they would be everywhere. Bathroom floor, in the shower, in my cupboard, in my kitchen, on old clothes, living room floor and sofas etc etc.\n\nI've been single since November and clean often enough that I'm certain it's not my ex-girlfriends' hairs. Plus the colour doesn't match anyway, she had solid black hair, these are more a light brunette. Plus, finding them in the places like the shower? Where running water is hitting all the sides 5+ times a week?\n\nAnyway, I waved it off as \"well I work with a lot of people and use the gym and bus sometimes so naturally hairs are going to stick to my clothes\"...\n\nWell. One day (this past April) I finished my early am gym session and got the call that I didn't have to go work that day, so naturally I start to walk home all happy that I have the day to myself. I'm on the 5th floor (the upper most floor) of the building and the apartment is in such a way that there is only 1 apartment per floor. I start to hustle up the stairs and don't use the elevator since I'm sweaty from the gym anyway.\n\nJUST as I whip a right to go up the last set of stairs from the 4th floor to the 5th floor I see my neighbour's (on the 3rd floor) daughter coming down the stairs. We lock eye-contact. We've never spoken before, mostly because we've never had a reason to but also because out of respect I didn't want to make her uncomfortable since she's 19-21ish and I'm slightly older. The most interaction we've had is that I've spoken to her mother and father before when bumping into each other on the stairs.\n\nI gave a confused \"hello?\" - at this point I'm thinking that she maybe went to knock on my door to ask for something? A cup of sugar maybe I don't know? I was expecting her to reply with something like \"oh hi, do you have any xyz\"...\n\nNope. She gave a silent \"hey\" and brushed right past me. And only then when the smell of my own shampoo hit me did I notice her hair was wet. Like. Fresh out the shower a minute ago wet.\n\nNow I'm not saying she showered in my house. Or that I have a stalker that's been living in my house while I've been at work. She very easily could have just been there to ask for something. And most generic brand shampoos smell the same.\n\nBut don't the pieces all fit a bit too well? Her hair colour matches the hairs I would find around my apartment. And like I said before, they were EVERYWHERE. In my bed to in my sock draws.\n\nAnd if it is a case of me having a stalker? How did she know I came home early enough to bolt out the shower in time? Our apartment doesn't have cameras, its an older building from before 2000. And why would she be stalking me? For how long has she been doing this? We've never dated, never had a proper conversation, I maybe saw her 20 times in the past 2 years given that I work and she (presumably) studies or works too.\n\nAs all these thoughts are buzzing through my head and I'm standing outside my door for a solid 2 minutes grappling with what just happened. I go to turn the key to my door and it opens without me having to unlock it. And I know for a fact I always double lock my door. It's the type with a lock near waist level and a 2nd more secure lock with a different key around shoulder level.\n\nI drop my bag, throw off my shoes and run to the shower. And yep. It's wet. I hadn't showered since yesterday morning.\n\nI'm a confrontational person, not that I go looking for fights but I'll definitely pursue an answer if something is bugging me. So back down the stairs to the 3rd floor I went, knocked on the door of my apparent stalker and her family. She opens the door but with the chain still on. I see half of her face from behind the door.\n\n\"Yes?\" - \"Umm can I help? Were you at my door or inside? I don't want to make this a police thing now but you came down the stairs and I know you were inside?\" - \"I just had to get something, it won't happen again.. ok bye see you\"\n\nDoor closed.\n\nThis happened last month, I've been cleaning my house every weekend closely now and got the locks changed and put a motion sensor camera above my door. It only films and triggers on the steps coming up to my door so the 4th apartment still have their privacy.\n\nSo far so good, I don't think she's been inside since. But looking back, I think she'd been living in or going in or whatever in to my apartment since January because that's my earliest memory of finding hairs. She never took anything of value like my laptop or the few watches I have. Seemingly she just showered and ate some of my food and laid in my bed?\n\nI do now also always take the elevator and avoid the 3rd floor like the plague.\n\n**EDIT:** I'm not really worried about my safety because 1. I'm 200lb and do a lot of fighting training and 2. The new camera has never gone off once since installed other than myself triggering it when I'm home. Finally 3. I told the old retired husband and wife on the 4th floor that I suspected a robber was trying to break into my apartment last month (I didn't want to start spreading rumours and gossip) and asked them to keep an ear out when I'm at work. I feel fine and safe. Just creeped out. Like my personal space had been violated.\n\n**EDIT 2:** Someone DMed me to check my coats and bags for airtags as to how maybe she knew I was coming home early that day. I don't have a lot of stuff so I think I would have 100% found it by now given how often I clean but I'll defo do another sweep of my stuff.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n**COMMENTS**\n\n**RideThatBridge**\n>How in the hell is she getting in?? You need to inform her parents and the landlord and explain you will call the police if you even suspect she’s back in there.\n>\n>Locks changed, hidden cameras inside and obvious one on outside of your door. WTF?!?\n>\n>**OOP**\n>>Genuinely no idea. Off the top of my head maybe she called a locksmith and did the old \"I'm the gf/owner and got locked out\" deal. But even then, that doesn't explain how she'd get a key? Unless locksmiths offer that service and I'm not aware.\n>>\n>>I would go to the police but I have no evidence. Even the police picked up her hairs across the apartment they could easily just think we had a fling or something and now I'm trying to get a restraining order or something. I don't want to get things messed up.\n>>\n>>There's no landlord, I own the apartment, I think pretty much everyone owns theirs in our building.\n>>\n>>I would love to inform her parents but how do you even start that conversation? The dad's a bus driver who works crazy hours and the mum's a teacher (I think), both in their 50s I don't know honestly how to go about this.\n\n---\n\n**LifeworksGames**\n>Why do I get the feeling that this girl may just have a very tragic backstory.\n>\n>Either that or she was just intruding for funsies, but I doubt that.\n>\n>**OOP**\n>>She's an introvert for sure, I know her parents somewhat because they're quite the chatty type. I'm pretty sure her dads a bus driver and the mums (maybe) a teacher? They're seemingly a very normal happy and healthy family.\n>>\n>>The mum would always bring me cake on Christmas and stuff because she knows I live alone and I'd give them gifts from my travels. So really no clue (that I can pick up on) that she has a tragic home life.\n\n---\n\n**Pineapplegirl1234**\n>That’s prob what time she always leaves. Imagine if you would have caught her in your shower. Wild!!\n>\n>**OOP**\n>>I go gym like 6am to 8am and work 9am to 5pm ish. So I was back home around 8:15am ish that day. If that's the case then she was waking up at 5:30 and waiting for me to leave. But why go through so much creepy extra effort just to take a shower at some guys house??\n\n---\n\n**CPlus902**\n>That's pretty fuckin' creepy. The tamest answer I can think of is that she has/had a thing for you, and instead of doing the Normal Person Thing and talking to you, flirting experimentally, and maybe even asking you out if you didn't do it first, she opted for the Very Weird Thing and started sneaking into your apartment when you weren't there.\n>\n>**OOP**\n>>The one person I told this story too IRL is a female friend I've had since we were kids. She threw out a similar theory especially when I said I noticed after my food would go missing and it wasn't me eating and forgetting. She suggested that maybe she was \"role-playing\" or something at my house. I mean. Definitely creepy.\n>>\n>>But yea I think a text or letter asking me to a coffee may have been the more LEGAL approach if she has a thing for me.\n\n---\n\n**0123justme0123**\n>Is it possible she had a set of keys from the prior owner of your apartment? Sometimes neighbors leave keys with each other when they go away to water plants, feed animals, take mail in, etc. Or if you did change them when you moved in did you ever lose your keys? Is there a window she could have gotten in through? However she managed it she was probably using your place as her own personal getaway space away from her family. I can't believe she would have the guts to do that, and it's still super creepy to know someone invaded your privacy and was in your home on multiple occasions.\n>\n>**OOP**\n>>I moved in before her family if I’m not mistaken, like a year before hand so I doubt they’d have any left over spare keys from the previous tenants who I never even met. It never occurred to me to change the locks when moving in mostly because I live in a small town that has like 1 mugging a year. Low crime so you know. Window is impossible I’m on the 5th floor and all my windows look out to the building so unless she’s Spider-Man it’s not happening. I’m 99% sure now following other comments she went to a lock smith and maybe lied about ID or something to get some illegal keys. Bad enough she invaded my privacy but she helped herself to everything in the house too like even my bed seemingly.\n\n---\n\n**kakashi_hotcakes**\n>how many bathrooms are there per unit? just one? since she had all day but was (caught) going in the morning i wonder if it started out with her and her parents needing the bathroom at the same time and rather than just waking up earlier, she decided to use yours. once she got more comfortable, she started helping herself to your food etc. since someone like that would clearly have no boundaries\n>\n>**OOP**\n>>It’s one per unit. And it’s insane if she thought that breaking into my house and making herself at home in my bedroom and kitchen via an illegal key was the better option than setting an alarm earlier.\n>>\n>>**EitherOrResolution**\n>>>She’s a weird teenager\n>>>\n>>>**OOP**\n>>>>Pretty sure she’s like 19+ just because her parents told me she graduated if I’m not mistaken unless they were talking about a sibling I’ve not come across.\n\n\n---\n\n# Final update - after 6 days\n\n^(May 12, 2026)\n\n---\n\n[**[UPDATE] For months I was confused why I kept finding long hairs in my house. Then I saw my neighbour coming out of my house.**][2]\n\nHi all, update following my last post a week back about me catching neighbour coming out of my apartment having used my shower.\n\nMy c","offTopic":false},{"id":"2d7797c3-4adb-4ac3-a464-c20ce249160d","excerpt":"[New Updates]: Influencer neighbors put me in the hospital — **I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Excellent_Yam_7563**\n\n**Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell**\n\n**Previous BoRUs: [#1](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/Gw1zbuckkY)**\n\n**[New Updates]: Influencer neighbors put me in the hospital**\n\n**Thanks to u/s","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1r5hy2v/new_updates_influencer_neighbors_put_me_in_the/","role":"pain","weight":1.2137709,"occurredAt":"2026-02-15T15:51:55.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"feature_request","painScore":0.435,"sentiment":0.12903225,"confidence":0.84583336,"matchedPatterns":["terrible","missing_feature"],"statement":"If the chief of police is corrupt then find out who their boss is and contact them to explain the situation and the intentional lack of support from the police.","title":"[New Updates]: Influencer neighbors put me in the hospital","body":"**I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Excellent_Yam_7563**\n\n**Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell**\n\n**Previous BoRUs: [#1](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/Gw1zbuckkY)**\n\n**[New Updates]: Influencer neighbors put me in the hospital**\n\n**Thanks to u/soayherder for suggesting this BoRU. Thanks to u/JoySubtraction for finding the latest updates!**\n\n**Trigger Warnings:** >!bullying, death of a loved one, invasion of privacy, falsifying accusations, medical emergency, harassment, possible stalking!<\n\n\\----\n\n**RECAP**\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/neighborsfromhell/s/M4qt3Ksjnf): **May 23, 2025**\n\nI live in an apartment complex that has the worst neighbors. Most of everyone here is okay except this one couple. Their constantly making tiktoks and YouTube videos about everyone that lives here and all of it is lies.\n\nI lost my husband last February due to a heart attack. In a instant I became a single mom and struggling to cope with my new normal. Most of my neighbors were very sweet and offered condolences. This couple nope they started making videos about me.\n\nClaiming that I was abusing my kids, never cleaning my apartment. They said my name in the videos and encouraged CPS. Which did get called and after one home visit the case was closed immediately.\n\nThe stress of the constant harassment and messages from these people pushed my blood pressure into me having a small stroke and ending up in the ICU.\n\nThis couple thought it was so funny and are continuing to make these videos. I don't go outside anymore my kids don't either. None of the other neighbors want to be caught outside in case it starts on them. Management can't do anything about it I've begged for a year. I just wish they would move.\n\n**Relevant Comments**\n\n**Commenter 1:** Have you spoken to the landlord?\n\n> **OOP:** I have spoken to the property manager and home office. This couple also make videos about the property manager and record everything that's said in the office so they can play the victim.\n\n**Can OOP get a lawyer and sue?**\n\n> **OOP:** I can't afford a lawyer and I tried to get a restraining order but our county attorney said no under the freedom of speech. He's very familiar with this couple because they sue everyone.\n\n+\n\n> I can't afford a lawyer sadly and the county attorney won't help with a harassment case I done tried that.\n\n**Commenter 2:** Also maybe call the police. You might be able to do a cease and desist or restraining order.\n\n> **OOP:** Every cop here knows them. Their small town famous for being the most hated people in town. But they help the police by ratting on drug dealers so the cops don't do anything to them \n\n**Commenter 3:** Seeing all your replies and given the situation, it may be in your best interest to find another place to live. With the cops not helping and you not being able to afford a lawyer I don’t see how there’s anything else you can do.\n\nThey’ve already rejected you for a restraining order, you could try getting a “cease and desist” order written up for them but given they have connections with the police it’s doubtful.\n\nDo you have any family you can temporarily move in with?\n\nI am curious also, what exactly are these people making content about involving you? If you’re not talking or interacting with these people and are avoiding them at all costs, what are they making these videos about? Are they stalking you?\n\nHave you tried to go higher up the chain of the police force that’s local to you? If the chief of police is corrupt then find out who their boss is and contact them to explain the situation and the intentional lack of support from the police.\n\n> **OOP:** Their videos are about me and about two other neighbors. They claim that my kids don't have clean clothes which is a lie. Our complex has washer and dryers connected to the property management office we have to pay to use them. I have the app for the machines that show how much I use it weekly. \n> \n> They claim that dogs have been removed from my apartment but I don't have any dogs my son is allergic. They claim that another neighbor is a drug dealer and has a vicious dog. He doesn't he's like me refuses to come outside. They claim that my kids are bullies at school even though they don't have any children under 18. And the guy is not allowed on any of the county schools property due to restraining orders. They tried to say my kids have put holes in the walls but the complex has monthly inspections so that's been proven false\n\n&nbsp;\n\n[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/neighborsfromhell/s/VDp0rMM2Y1): **August 11, 2025 (nearly four months later)**\n\nUpdate to Influencer neighbors put me in the hospital\n\nI had a lot of comments asking me to name and shame. I didn't because not only do they use my name and my kids faces in their videos they also use other neighbors. Going through this has me paranoid enough.\n\nThe good news is their moving!! They got evicted after starting a war with the property manager. They recorded conversations in the main office and started arguments. One would think it would make them stop but nope it keeps going.\n\nTwo weeks ago a group of us parents were standing outside talking when the influencer wife walked over and started a fight with us. I couldn't hold back anymore and I let almost a year frustration out on her. We both yelled at each other and I got to say everything I ever wanted to ask well as the other parents. She ran back inside with her phone and claimed we bullied her.\n\nNow she records everyone at the bus stop daily claiming we're all doing things we're not. Her followers are still believing everything but at least it's almost over.\n\n**Relevant Comments**\n\n**Commenter 1:** Surely showing other people’s kids in their videos is a legal minefield for them!!!!\n\nI would imagine solicitors would make mincemeat of them???\n> \n> **Commenter 2:** Not only that, depending on the size of the channel, some other YouTubers would have a field day with it as well.\n>> \n>> **OOP:** It's TikTok and YouTube the husband does YouTube and the wife does TikTok. TikTok refuses to remove the videos of our kids \n\n**Commenter 3:** You should speak the manager about their plan for when they do leave. She should be formally trespassed, her mailbox should be marked vacant and everyone should be aware she’s no longer allowed at the property so people are on the lookout. Tbh if she’s recording a bus stop I might even go to the school/police about that as well, especially if she say, has no kids there.\n\nBest bet once they move she will probably start a shit storm. Hopefully not but ours did. I really thought “she’s being forced to move, she won’t be an issue anymore”, but I was wrong and all she did was escalate bc she blamed us for her bad behavior. Keep a close eye on her videos.\n\n> **OOP:** I’m fully expecting a big dramatic exit and hell for a few months after they leave. But they have spent a year calling CPS, animal control, code enforcement and the government that none of the officials will respond to their calls.\n\n**Commenter 4:** So they are filing multiple false reports? Call your District Attorney's office and talk to them about it. They may find an agency willing to charge the neighbor. Give the DA a clear and truthful story about what they have done and effects but not a total sob story. Being very emotional with them might not work but truth and facts will.\n\n> **OOP:** I have but I'm not the first person that they have went at so the DA told me he wouldn't do anything to them and to wait until they gets bored of me\n\n**Commenter 5:** Why aren’t you and your neighbors filing complaints with YouTube? There are policies about harassment, bullying, misinformation, etc. all of this applies here. If you violate them, there are repercussions for those actions and I’m sure for the more serious ones that would include expulsion from the platform. I just don’t get why an entire apt. complex has continued to suffer without taking actionable steps to hold them accountable for their behavior.\n\n> **OOP:** Their channels get taken down and they make new ones. The husband is very hated on YouTube and TikTok refuses to do anything about the reports people have made.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n-----\n\n#----NEW UPDATES----\n\n**Editor’s note: the next three updates are over six months old, and they have not been posted onto this sub**\n\n[Influencer neighbors aren't just leaving quietly](https://www.reddit.com/r/neighborsfromhell/s/BaeXo32VTD): **September 6, 2025 (almost one month later from the previous update)**\n\nSorry to keep ranting about these neighbors at least it will be over at the end of the month. Everyone was hoping that they would just leave quietly but nope these two are on a mission.\n\nSince they have been evicted they have made hell for everyone in my complex. The wife has called the police on grown adults just talking outside claiming it was teenagers out past curfew. The police were confused and said it wasted their time.\n\nThey have screamed at small kids and toddlers telling them they are not welcome on the sidewalk near their apartment. Posted tiktok videos of the \"out of control grass\". They claim that the grass is so long they couldn't see their dog when it went to use the bathroom. The grass wasn't even to ankles and personally I think they need glasses.\n\nAnd their the reason I'm currently awake at 3 in the morning. I was asleep but banging on my door woke me up. It was a police officer saying my neighbors had called because of the loud banging and flashes of light in their windows.\n\nThey told police that it was me causing everything with banging and a flash light. In my area tonight we're getting horrible storms and isolated tornadoes. Y'all they called the police because mother nature. Once again the police said it was a waste of his time but he can't do anything about them. I'm counting down the days until these people are officially out of here!!\n\n**Relevant Comments**\n\n**Commenter 1:** Bruh, that's straight up wild, no chill at all. 😤 I mean, who calls the cops on mother nature lol? Can't believe these ppl actually exist IRL... Short-sighted drama queens, smh 🙄 Just keep countin' down the days dude, soon you'll have the last laugh! \n\nHang in there, better times r comin'.\n\n> **OOP:** Thank you I keep telling myself it's not much longer every time I hear her screeching voice outside. I told the cop it must be a slow night on TikTok to call over a little thunder.\n\n**Commenter 2:** If the cops show up again make a complaint for harassment from the neighbor. If you can go into a station and get call out reports from the times she had called nuisance reports in and use those as evidence of her abuse of 911 to harass you.\n\nCould potentially get her a day or two in lockup pending seeing a judge.\n\n> **OOP:** The bad part about this town is the police won't do anything about them. They are very well known around town for all the wrong reasons. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n[Happy birthday to me!! Influencer neighbors are gone!!](https://www.reddit.com/r/neighborsfromhell/s/Or8AGZBM9g): **October 17, 2025 (more than one month later)**\n\nBest birthday present ever!! The influencers moved out on my birthday. Of course they couldn't go quietly. The entire time they were moving their stuff the wife was constantly screaming and cussing outside. No one else dared to even open doors the entire week they were moving out.\n\nFor a week after they moved out police were here daily. They continued to call on me and several neighbors. One guy got arrested after they called in a welfare check on his kid. He's officially lost his child hopefully she's doing better with her mom. They called in several welfare checks on my kids as well.\n\nIn one night the police went to every apartment with children. Animal control came out on several people because of the influencers. Hopefully with time the calls will stop but even now two weeks later we're still getting police at our doors. But the apartment complex is already easier to relax in and no","offTopic":false},{"id":"6634c285-18c1-4c21-b8a6-ea4c3757e9d1","excerpt":"Me [26M] with my wife [25F] all together 5 years I saw what looks to be a picture of my wife on my friends phone, the picture was nude — **I am not The OOP, OOP is u/limberlovemuscle**\n\n**Me [26M] with my wife [25F] all together 5 years I saw what looks to be a picture of my wife on my friends phone, the picture was nu","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1t9s6ji/me_26m_with_my_wife_25f_all_together_5_years_i/","role":"request","weight":1.1938,"occurredAt":"2026-05-11T04:00:06.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"feature_request","painScore":0.27,"sentiment":0.048648648,"confidence":0.94,"matchedPatterns":["how_can_i","frustrating","still_cannot","urgent","praise"],"statement":"My wife hasn't come home from the gym yet still no phone.","title":"Me [26M] with my wife [25F] all together 5 years I saw what looks to be a picture of my wife on my friends phone, the picture was nude","body":"**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/limberlovemuscle**\n\n**Me [26M] with my wife [25F] all together 5 years I saw what looks to be a picture of my wife on my friends phone, the picture was nude**\n\n**Originally posted to r/AdviceAnimals r/tifu & relationships**\n\n**Eidtors Note: OOP's original post was removed from tifu only because it wasnt OOP's fuck up**\n\n**TRIGGER WARNING:** >!Stealing nude images, harassment and violent threats!<\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/s/xZe3VAcZe2) **Jan 13, 2016**\n\n[**TIFU THREAD - TIFU: By looking at my friends phone**](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/40u5ub/tifu_by_looking_at_my_friends_phone/)\n\n[**RELATIONSHIPS THREAD**](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/40vkzj/me_26m_with_my_wife_25f_all_together_5_years_i/)\n\nWe were sitting on the couch drinking a few beers watching DVR reruns of the twilight zone. Its my day off and my friend got kicked out of his house about a month ago by his girlfriend, as far as I know he did nothing wrong. He's been sleeping in a hotel and my wife and I offered to let him stay at our apartment for a few weeks until he can find a place of his own. Anyway we are sitting on the couch and he runs out of beer and gets up to go to my kitchen to get another. He puts his phone face down on the couch. I shouldn't have but I picked it up to look at it. He was looking at a picture of my wife... naked. I'm almost certain its her. I got really uncomfortable at the thought that he's browsing his phone looking at a pic of my naked wife right fucking next to me.\n\nI quickly put down the phone where he had it and I locked the screen to be safe. When he came back I went to my bedroom to type this. Guys what do I do. Tons of thoughts are swimming through my head. Please help I dont want to do anything I regret.\n\n**TL;DR:** *Found a nude picture of my wife on my friends phone, who is currently living with us after getting kicked out by his girlfriend.*\n\n**EDIT:** I have been advised to keep quiet until I know that without a doubt he has a nude picture of my wife on his phone. I need to see it again to be certain. I dont know how to do it though.\n\n**STUFF TO KNOW:** I told my wife that my friend, our mutual friend has been staying in a hotel for a few weeks after he got kicked out, we both decided to let him stay here for a few weeks until he gets a new place. I didnt get a long enough look at the picture, to say weather or not its my wife with 100% certainty. There was no face in the picture. I do not want to go around throwing out accusations. \n\n**UPDATE:** My wife will be home from work in an hour 45. My friend is currently working on something in the room he's staying in(not sure what). Im in my room, reading the comments. Im going to text my wife something mundane, and see if she responds. I am not going to bring anything up I just wana see if she'll say something back. Im thinking of a few excuses to see my friends phone, if you have a good one let me know. \n\n**UPDATE 2:** I was given the idea to tell him I cant find my phone and ask him to call it. He was reluctant about letting me use his phone, this is where Im worried, if he has nothing to hide why wont he let me see the phone, I dont know maybe hes really protective. He said \"just walk around the apartment and and Ill keep calling it until you find it.\" I didnt want him to think I was suspicious so I agreed. I told him I found it and ended it there. He's going to work soon so i need to get to his phone soon.\n\n**UPDATE 3:** Friend has gone to work, Wife will be home in 15-20 mins. Still haven't been able to see the picture. Should I ask my wife anything when she gets home? She didnt respond to my mundane text I forgot to mention that. \n\n**UPDATE 4:** For those that were wondering, from what I remember the picture was a woman presumedly laying down with her shirt open, she had large breasts, which my wife also does, thats all I remember because after I picked it up I got a sick feeling in my stomach and locked it then put it down. If I could see it again I could pinpoint for sure if its her or not. Now onto the update, she left her phone at work.... Im worried. This has got my head spinning in all sorts of ways, I prodded just a bit and asked why she left it, she said she just forgot. Guys, holy shit im nervous. My friend is at work I cant check his phone my wife's phone is at work. FUCK. I dont know what to do. Im going to stay as calm as possible and not give anything away. Is this a sign she's hiding something. I really dont want to assume the worst, I just need to calm down for a bit. Goddammit am I craving some Vicodin again. I use to be addicted to it and the urge is back but I know I cant do it. Just to be safe I called her phone and it did ring the full 30 seconds or so. Im trying to slyly deduce whats going on. Ill update when I have more.\n\n**UPDATE 5:** My wife is going to the gym, she'll be back in an hour. I feel so bad, I feel like im going behind her back. I love this woman to death and dont know what I'd do with out her. I keep being told to confront my wife or to confront my friend, which should I do. I'm not going to accuse them at all that would be wrong, so I might just let this play out little by little. \n\n**UPDATE 6:** Final update for tonight, so far my post has been removed several times and I promised I would tell you guys what was going on. My wife hasn't come home from the gym yet still no phone. I am angry and very stressed Im going to bed guys. I hope I haven't failed you people. Please dont hate me. \n\n**UPDATE 7:** So last night I had a pretty mean headache, I'll get them when im really stressed, and I decided to call it a night. My wife got home soon after and walked into our room, when she turned the light on she saw me laying down, she apologized and turned the light back off, she asked me why I was laying down. I just told her I was stressed and she sat down on the bed next to me and asked me what was up. I just said 'you know work' and left it there she said ok then kissed me on the forehead and asked me if I needed anything I told her I was alright, and I fell asleep not too long after our conversation.\n\nI woke up in the middle of the night, I was having trouble sleeping, and I walked into the living room, on the balcony was my friend having a smoke, and I started feeling really angry and wanted to go out there and confront him, but I knew i needed to stay calm I walked out onto the balcony and we made small talk for a bit while he finished his cigarette. It was silent for a bit and I asked him why he was kicked out of his GF's house.  \"Like I told you before dude. Im really not sure, she just did, You know, I didnt do anything.\" It felt like such a lie, I just really wasn't thinking about it the first time. Im sure he's hiding something, he said it with such a disregard for the question, kinda like when your parents would catch you doing something and they would ask you what was going on and you would say, \"Uhhhh, nothing.\"  We said our goodbyes Exactly like that. I didn't question him any further for fear he might think I was trying to get something out of him, we talked for a bit longer about nothing important. I told him I was still pretty tired so I wanted to go back to sleep, he said goodnight and I went back to bed, I couldn't sleep though I was tossing and turning troubled by the thought of something being up. \n\nI got up a while later to go to the gym, from there I go to work, and I had an idea. I was going to sneak into his room and get his phone and look at it, the only problem being his door was locked. I went to the gym, but didn't do much because I felt so discouraged. I got to work, where I currently am now, and decided I would use the advice I was given and check the message history through our service provider, that was tough to do because I had trouble remembering our account info but I got it all sorted. When I looked at the message logs I felt like again Im betraying my wife. So I texted her. No answer. She must have not have gotten her phone yet.I waited a while until I felt my phone vibrate. \n\nHer: \"Sorry babe got my phone back, whats up?\" \n\nMe: \"Just wanted to see how you were doing, sorry we didnt talk last night I was really stressed.\"\n\nHer: \"Its ok, *kissing emoji*\"\n\nMe: \"I got a question though. Do you know why (enter name here) was kicked out of (enter name here) house?\"\n\nNo response. That was a few hours ago to. So Im still waiting hoping that she'll answer because im having a bit of an anxiety attack. I gave in and checked the phone logs. There were a bunch of messages back and fourth between her and myself, her and her mother, her and a few of her friends, and lastly her and the the guy who is staying with us. Nothing incriminating **(I need to fix this because I messed up what I was saying)** **i assume this was the message because it was sent to me at the same time as my friend.**  only her asking him if he wanted her to pick up something for dinner, which she also sent me.  **Sorry for anyone one who read it the first time and was confused, thank you for the redditors who pointed it out.** So honestly guys nothing major yet. Ill update if she texts back and if I have more to tell. I have a few more ideas of stuff I can do but like I said im not going to accuse until I have absolute proof, I still do not think my wife is cheating I just wana know whats going on. I get off work in about an hour.\n\n\n[Final Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/AdviceAnimals/s/7VQSmO7rdB)  **Jan 17, 2016 (4 days later)**\n\n**FINAL UPDATE:**  Let me start off by apologizing for taking so long to finally write this post, when shit hits the fan it gets everywhere and takes a while to clean up, so thank you all for your patience. \n\nAlright after my last update I headed home, I was finally going to man up and ask my friend about what I saw on his phone. When I walked in the front door, put my stuff down and headed towards his room. I walked past the bathroom and heard the shower so I figured he was in it so I'd wait for him, I went into his room and right fucking there on the bed next to his bag and jacket is his fucking phone! My stomach dropped again because I knew there was no going back I was going to pick up his phone and figure out what is going on once and for all. His phone had a passcode on it but that was really easy to guess, I tried the '1234' then the reverse and after about 4 or so guesses it turned out to be the year he was born, anyway I went to his photo reel and opened it. I scrolled through a few pics of different things and then I finally landed on it. FUCK. I recognized the shirt and the room it was taken in, she took it, that is a picture that she took, here in our apartment of her upper body. That was my wife, and my friend had the picture of her on his phone. I got really really angry, I couldnt hold it back and I walked over to the door of the bathroom and started banging on it like a mad man. Im yelling his name telling him to get out here. The water goes off and hes yelling out to me asking what I want and I kept saying over and over to open the damn door. He finally does and hes putting on his pants, \"What the fuck do you want man, Im getting ready for work.\" Thats when I dropped the question. \"Why the hell, do you have a naked picture of my fucking wife on your phone.\" \n\nHis eyes were huge and he just started stammering, so I asked him again but with more force. \"**why the fuck do you have a naked picture of my wife on your phone (insert name here.)**\" He was trying to speak but kept stuttering and put up his hands to try and calm me down. I wasn't going to hit him but man I really wanted to. He just kept saying \"wait\" over and over. He gained his composure and I swear to god he says \"I know your mad,\" I cut him off yelling \"no shit\" at the top of my lungs. \"Did my wife send you this?\" I asked over and over, I was just so incredibly angry. He finally tells me ''no'' and expla","offTopic":false},{"id":"a9d239ca-8d0a-4b91-9127-c6e1874dd058","excerpt":"My [20F] sister [12F] stole my credit card and racked up $700 of charges. WTF — **I am not The OOP, OOP is u/12-yoklepto**\n\n**My [20F] sister [12F] stole my credit card and racked up $700 of charges. WTF.**\n\n**TRIGGER WARNING:** >!Mentions if abuse, neglect!<\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/nj","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1ry49af/my_20f_sister_12f_stole_my_credit_card_and_racked/","role":"request","weight":1.1889551,"occurredAt":"2026-03-19T15:55:56.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"purchase_intent","painScore":0.26484585,"sentiment":0.33333334,"confidence":0.94,"matchedPatterns":["how_can_i","would_pay","missing_feature"],"statement":"The dog is under my name and I pay for all his stuff, they just gave me permission to get him.","title":"My [20F] sister [12F] stole my credit card and racked up $700 of charges. WTF","body":"**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/12-yoklepto**\n\n**My [20F] sister [12F] stole my credit card and racked up $700 of charges. WTF.**\n\n**TRIGGER WARNING:** >!Mentions if abuse, neglect!<\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/njCd3L4m0u)  **Aug 14, 2015**\n\nShe has an issue of Keeping Up with the Joneses. Her friends have lots of cool stuff and she idolizes those beauty bloggers and YouTubers and wants the things they have. My parents are extremely wealthy but strict. They would reward us with things when we did well in school. She pulled C's this year and asked for an iPhone, and was obviously refused.\n\nEarly this year in September/October I noticed a lot of my makeup and shoes were going missing. We have the same size feet and the makeup items were popular \"cult classics.\" I put up a camera when I went to work one evening and came back to check. Lo and behold she was taking stuff from my drawers, and sitting down at my vanity to use it.\n\nWhatever, she's 12, she wants to use makeup. I \"destashed\" some items I never used and I gave her a fair amount. For her birthday my other sister and I (other sis does not live with us) chipped in for a Sephora gift card. We thought maybe then she'd stop taking my stuff. \n\nIt did stop, it looks like, because nothing has gone missing and I recorded for about a month and only saw her in my room when she went to fetch the dog, so nothing suspicious.\n\nHowever lately she has been getting packages from Amazon, she's buying Sims games, and she's using a Netflix account. She stated she's been winning all of these things and despite questioning her she refused to really admit where she got all this stuff from so I dropped it. \n\nAbout two weeks ago, everything on our desktop computer went missing. Looking into the system recovery files, it said that there was a system file reset (something along those lines) at 11:30 AM on a Thursday. Mom and I discovered the computer was wiped that evening. I saw my sister on the computer when I left for work.\n\nWe know she did something, but again, she refused to answer.\n\nThen today, I got my Mastercard bill. It was absurdly high. I paid $78 for a yoga pass and then $10 for something from eBay. At first I thought my card info had been stolen. \n\nBut the purchases all match up with stuff she has. Origin Canada. Netflix. Amazon, Amazon, Amazon. One eBay purchase. All online purchases. $700~ worth.\n\n\n I have no idea what the fuck to do. My parents are again, super strict. Obviously I have to tell them but they are going to lose it on her. But I'm beginning to think she has a serious fucking problem.\n\nI have the money to pay down this card but I don't want to. I want to recoup the losses. But how can I get a refund on something like Netflix? I can't. \n\nI've already called to cancel the card. \n\nI don't know what steps to take next.\n\nTL;DR: Sister was caught stealing real things from me and I tried to help it; now she has stolen my CC info and I have a massive bill. I don't think it's just a problem with wants. \n\n**RELEVANT COMMENTS**\n\n**goldt33f**\n\n>You need to tell your parents. If they lose it on her, it's because she needs to learn now that money doesn't grow on fucking trees and that she essentially is an entitled thief. You're not going to get through to her.\n\n**OOP**\n\n>> Fuck. You're right. I don't want her to become one of those brats I suffered through in retail. \n>>\n>> They knew what happened with the first time and my dad just babies her. They're old now (in their 60s) and just don't want to deal with it so my other sis and I have become pseudo parents. But I guess I finally need to let her be their problem. \n\n[[Canada] 12 y/o sister stole my credit card info and used about $700. Will reporting it as fraudulent cause a criminal investigation?](https://www.reddit.com/r/legaladvice/s/tbLkwU7bXx)  **Aug 14, 2015 (Same Day)**\n\nIt's a Mastercard, Scotiabank.\n\nI want to report it as fraudulent because I do not want to pay those charges. However I don't want her to be charged for something. While a visit from a lawyer or police officer might scare her good I don't want it to actually pan out. It would cause family drama that I am just not interested in, stolen info or not. \n\nIf I wanted someone to come talk to her, do you think that could happen without it becoming a legal issue? Or will I have to eat the charges? \n\n**TOP COMMENTS**\n\n**[deleted]**\n\n>You can't eat your cake and have it to. If you don't want your sister to face consequences outside of your family circle, don't tell anybody. You can't expect both to shield your sister and get your money back; choose which is more important. \n\n**~**\n\n**Cidician**\n\n>I've read your post on relationships and I think even if you did report it to the bank, the chances of you getting your money back is not very high. For starters, all the items that were purchased (Netflix, Amazon, etc.) are things that you could've brought. All the items that were shipped also went straight to where you lived too. It would appear to the bank that you brought those items and just want to pin it on someone else to avoid paying. It would not be a fun investigation.\n\n[Update 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/s/btFonuqlWk)  **Aug 15, 2015 (Next Day)**\n\nHi everyone. Thanks for your advice and help.\n\nI just want to add in some points that came up in comments:\n\n-\tI did get mad at her when she stole from me the last time. I thought that being proactive by helping her get what she wants in a proper way would help, but we did have a nasty fight about it. I didn’t just shrug it off. I now realize I totally fucked that up.\n\n-\tMy parents were strict when I was younger so to me strict is just the word for them. But for her they have completely checked out. I am basically her parent. My older sister not as much, but she still is involved a fair amount more than my actual parents are.\n\n-\tI do want to lock my door but it’s where the dog hangs out, and he needs to leave to pee sometimes, so I am hesitant. I did, however, decide to order a nanny cam for my bedroom. I am still considering the lock.\n\n\n\nLast night I came home from work and my parents had gone to bed, as well as my sister, so I decided to leave it until the morning.  But I heard giggling coming from my sister’s room so I approached her and I decided to ask her about it before I talked to my parents.\n\n\n\nWell, she full on denied it. I had printed my credit card statement and I showed it to her and she just said it wasn’t her and she didn’t do it. I am the person with the mail key (we have a community mailbox) so I was taking in her Amazon packages. They were from the Marketplace and a few of them had the prices on them so they could go through customs and those prices matched what was on my statement. My dad has a key too so he probably took in the ones I didn’t see which is why I didn’t realize it was such a big problem.\n\n\nI also pointed out the Netflix charge. She said that she was using my other sister’s Netflix. Other sister lives in an area about two hours behind our time so I texted her right then and she said she doesn’t even have Netflix anymore, as it interfered too much with her doctorate work. My younger sister lied and said she was still using it.\n\n\nI told her I am giving her one chance to admit it to me otherwise I’ll be talking to the parents and I will also be calling the cops. Still, she refused to admit. I even started to doubt myself. Maybe she didn’t actually do it.\n\n\nI was going over all the charges and realized she’d have to have an Amazon account. I was the one who set up her email address so many years ago. If she forgot her password, my email was the recovery. I reset her password through my email.\n\n\nNot only had she charged $700 in this last billing cycle, but yesterday she bought two more things off Amazon, an iTunes receipt, got a receipt from a site called The Sims Resource, and a Club Penguin membership. There were still all of the old order receipts. I reset her Amazon password and I cancelled the orders she placed. I emailed Club Penguin and Netflix and told them she was a minor and was not authorized to purchase the membership. Club Penguin was awesome and they reversed the charges for me. I guess they deal with this a lot. Netflix hasn’t responded yet.\n\n\nThis morning I talked to my parents. They offered to pay it for me and I told them that is not the point, I want her to learn what she did. They just dismissed it. So I told them if they don’t do something then I will not be doing their job for them anymore. I will disengage totally from my sister’s life. I told them that by choosing to ignore this, my grad school applications are immediately moving out of province.\n\nThis did upset them because my older sister had gone the same route due to their crazy behaviour so they decided to talk to her. I don’t know what they said as I had to go walk my dog but looks like there’s been 0 consequences because she looks fine and is still holed up in her room. My dad just transferred that amount to my bank account so I am assuming they just still don’t give a shit. I haven't yet paid the card. It is due August 27 so I have time.\n\n\nI talked to my boyfriend and he has some friends on the police force as well as some paramedic friends who know the cops who do the DARE circuits, so he’s going to try and contact one of them. My older sister actually has a planned visit for next Tuesday, so we are trying to coordinate the potential police visit with that. \n\nMy older sister was shocked to hear what happened and when I told her that I might do my MSc out of province she said she and her husband have room for me at their place. I could even bring my dog if I want to. So maybe that is something to consider. \n\n\n   \n**tl;dr**: No one cares about what happened and I think my sister needs to see a psychologist\n\n**UPDATE**: My boyfriend reached a cop he knows, who actually referred him to another person. He will be coming over Tuesday afternoon after my sister and brother-in-law arrive. After the cop talks to my sister my boyfriend is going to take her to the army offices which are stationed near the police headquarters. She's going to get a tour of both. We decided to do that part second because she might be more cooperative after the cop shows up. \n\nMy sister and I are going to talk to our parents about finding her a volunteer placement. My older sister suggested that she might need some perspective -- aka not owning that game is not the end of the world -- and some hard-hitting scenarios might be the best way to get that through. \n\nI called one of my cousins who my younger sister really admires and she is going to come talk to my younger sister too when the cops come. Intervention style, I suppose. The cop and I talked on the phone just a few minutes ago and he said that this is not the first time he's done this. He has a lot of stuff he can say so I trust he will do that on his own. He told me that he often refers these kids to a counsellor and that if my sister seems willing he can refer us too. \n\nEveryone is being really helpful. I have decided to not press charges yet. A lot of you are coming down hard on my sister and she deserves it. I might show her these threads. However -- she is still my sister. She is 12. My older sister and I basically raised her. We do not want to turn her into someone with a criminal record, **even though yes, she deserves it.** Right now, we have a chance to rehabilitate her, versus deciding she's not worth it and dumping her. If I leave and she has no chance in hell with my parents, I still **will** be partly responsible if she goes the wrong way and I didn't try anything. \n\nIt might be our house, not just her. We have extremely fucked up parents, as you guys have noted. I cannot change their ways. But if I can get her out of here, I will do so. But I can only do that if she agrees to change things. If she doesn't, then the best idea is for me to leave, because I want to have a life too. \n","offTopic":false},{"id":"7e7ae49f-172f-43d7-b418-bdcdb9404d77","excerpt":"[ID] my landlord is missing without explanation and her ex husband wants to collect rent — Green- my landlord's name\n\nRed- exhusband's name\n\nHi, i (31F) have been living in my apartment since November 2024. I like the landlord, she picks up the check in-person every month and we've developed great rapport. We've talked","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/Renters/comments/1syqomq/id_my_landlord_is_missing_without_explanation_and/","role":"pain","weight":1.1852546,"occurredAt":"2026-04-29T06:29:37.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"Renters","intent":"purchase_intent","painScore":0.4395804,"sentiment":-0.31034482,"confidence":0.8233333,"matchedPatterns":["would_pay","missing_feature"],"statement":"Tl;dr: My LL, who I pay in-person, has gone MIA and her exhusband is asking to collect rent.","title":"[ID] my landlord is missing without explanation and her ex husband wants to collect rent","body":"Green- my landlord's name\n\nRed- exhusband's name\n\nHi, i (31F) have been living in my apartment since November 2024. I like the landlord, she picks up the check in-person every month and we've developed great rapport. We've talked about our lives, and over the past several months, she went through a nasty divorce. I could tell it was wearing her down and was a little worried.\n\nToday, i got this notice on my door from her exhusband. As far as I know, they've officially split, but he is requesting payment for my rent – and, like the letter says, I cannot reach my LL at all. No calls, texts, nothing reaches her.\n\nAbout my lease: My lease says ONLY my LL's name – not the exhusband. However, i believe they owned the property under a shared LLC. My lease does not list the LLC either. Also, most leases have all the LL contact info. I only have an email and phone number for her.\n\nAbout the LL: No idea what happened to her. I've asked the neighbors, and nobody knows where she went. The only person I haven't asked yet is her sister, who lives in our building, but she wouldn't open the door when I'd knock.\n\nAbout the exhusband: I don't know much about him. I only met him once, and he introduced himself as the owner, implying he's a sole owner. My LL later told me he doesn't really own the home and she manages all their properties.\n\nTl;dr: My LL, who I pay in-person, has gone MIA and her exhusband is asking to collect rent. This feels very weird and shady. I don't know where she went. What do I do? What would you do?\n\nUPDATE: I contacted the police dispatch, they've sent the info to all local deputies since I don't know the address. They are going to try and find her and I will keep my phone ringer on in case they need any info from me.\n\nLEASE CLARIFICATION: Someone asked about payment method on my lease but Reddit won't allow me to locate or reply to their comment... So, my lease says \"check or Zelle\" under payment method. However, she's never actually set up her Zelle as far as I know and even when I'd offer to pay via Zelle while traveling for work, she wanted to wait until I'd get back in town. So, I always paid by check in-person.\n\nUPDATE 2: I woke up and had no missed calls. I called the police to ask for a status update and they say they did call me... We figure out that my phone had some kind of filter for blocked or unknown numbers. I didn't know- but a police officer will call me back today.\n\nUPDATE 3: Police said she is safe! I wasn't given more info besides that. But she still hasn't contacted me and I can't reach her. My parents are helping me get in contact with a lawyer, but holding the rent in an escrow account until legally obligated otherwise seems like the right move. If I find out what happened to her, i will update the post.\n\nUPDATE 3.5: She wasn't jailed, at least not in the past five days. Someone suggested I look at recent arrests so, on my lunch break, I looked at all the arrests in the past five days. I didn't see her, or her exhusband. But I looked through them to make sure they weren't arrested under a different name.\n\nAlso, I didn't mention in the post that I immediately reached out to the exhusband via text introducing myself and asking if she was okay- I didn't think too much about it when I did this, I was just really concerned and assumed he'd at least confirm her wellbeing, considering her personal relationship with her tenants. But he didn't respond, and, as it got late in the night without any answers, that's when I started feeling really worried and uncertain, calling the police for a wellness check. I checked my texts and we're into noon the next day, and he still hasn't responded. I don't know yet if I'll make further attempts to reach him or not, I'll review with legal counsel and make sure the money is set aside properly for the LL.\n\nUPDATE 4: We decided to reach out to the exhusband again to confirm his identity and then establish whether he has power of attorney to legally accept rent in her name. The results of this conversation will determine how to settle the rent. I still do not know the fate of my landlord, but I did finally catch the LL's sister outside my building. As I explained in the comments, she is often drunk, but is generally quiet and sweet otherwise. When I saw her, she was clearly distraught, but I couldn't learn much. I asked about her sister, she cried, we hugged, and I walked her back to her apartment.\n\nI don't know how many updates there will be from here as the small legal details get sorted out- so I just want to thank you all for kindly offering support. It made me chuckle in the middle of my workday when I'd see AssButtTittyLickin3000 offer insightful advice on my situation... As a lurker, this post just reached way more people than I ever expected. I only posted because I felt stun locked by the situation, and needed a nudge in the right direction.\n\nBut I'm still worried about my LL, even though the police confirmed she's not missing, and that she's safe. I just have an awful feeling I won't hear from her again, or it will be a long time until I do. The family is being very tight lipped about what happened.\n\nIt's funny how just a couple months ago, she was pressing me on how important it was to add more safety features to my apartment. I'd insist she didn't have to go all out since I felt adequately safe, plus she was still getting settled after the divorce. But no matter how hard I insisted she didn't have to worry, she'd still send me texts at 3am with more ideas to make my apartment safer, haha. Crazy lady... True, she hasn't gotten along with every tenant in our building. She does get emotional and paranoid about small things. But, even before this happened, I felt she was a good person who deserved way more in life than what she got.\n\nPlease pray or send good thoughts towards this woman. I will still update the thread if I hear what happened to her. Thank you again.\n\nUPDATE 5: The ex-husband politely confirmed he will provide evidence that he's legally allowed to collect rent in the LL's name, and that my LL is unavailable due to health reasons he couldn't disclose. As far as the money, I'm still waiting for the paperwork or evidence from him. Even if he is well-intentioned, I cannot pay my rent to him without my LL's approval or if he had power of attorney due to my lease. The money is being safely set aside until then.\n\nI've also met other residents from other properties going through this same ordeal. Some haven't gotten a response from the ex-husband at all.\n\nOther details I will only be able to share only once this situation is resolved. However, considering the police confirmed the LL is safe, she is likely getting care she is needing, whatever the health concern may be. I have been researching since that original wellness check, but that's all I can say for now.\n\nUPDATE 6: I spoke with my LL on the phone! It was a very brief conversation, she asked if we could get coffee next week. She sounded well, I assume she pulled through her health issues that her sister and exhusband hinted at. We will get coffee soon.","offTopic":false},{"id":"63b27fea-e6c2-41c0-a858-6344f61fa349","excerpt":"AITAH for leaving my friend on the side of the road after finding out she stole nearly $800 from my account? — (Revised)\n\nI (28F) had a friend  Kat (27F). We’ve been close for a while, and I’ve always been the \"stable\" one. I make a decent amount of money and sometimes pay for dinners or shopping trips because I love m","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/AITAH/comments/1rke58s/aitah_for_leaving_my_friend_on_the_side_of_the/","role":"request","weight":1.1362,"occurredAt":"2026-03-04T06:30:53.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"AITAH","intent":"purchase_intent","painScore":0.38,"sentiment":-0.2,"confidence":0.8233333,"matchedPatterns":["would_pay","missing_feature"],"statement":"I will pay her back though.","title":"AITAH for leaving my friend on the side of the road after finding out she stole nearly $800 from my account?","body":"(Revised)\n\nI (28F) had a friend  Kat (27F). We’ve been close for a while, and I’ve always been the \"stable\" one. I make a decent amount of money and sometimes pay for dinners or shopping trips because I love my friends and enjoy spending time with them.\n\nA few months ago, a group of six of us (including our friend Sherie) met up to plan a 2-week girls' trip to New Orleans. (Yes it’s 2 weeks it took me and Sherie longer to decide where we’d like to go.) We agreed that each of us was to save $1,000 saved for their portion and if you couldn’t cover your part, you had to back out. We didn't want anyone being uncomfortable or having to pay more than they should.\n\nWhile we were hanging out, Kat asked to borrow my phone to call her boyfriend because hers was dead. She was gone for like 20 minutes, which I thought was weird, but I figured they were just arguing as usual. Afterwards she brought my phone back.\n\nFast forward to more recently: I went to send Sherie money for the trip and noticed odd amounts of money taken, originally thinking itwas just auto-pay for utilities. But then after scrolling down I saw there was $367 sent to a PayPal account. I immediately called my bank and asked if they could tell me more about the charges. It turns out Kat had stolen $783. She had linked my card to cash-loading apps (like Cash App or PayPal)  labeling the transfers as \"Gas\" or \"Garbage Bill\". Kat has used my phone plenty of times so now looking at it she probably did find where my logins were. (Yes they are in my phone notes whoops). I told my boyfriend about it and he was also upset Kat would do this and wasn’t surprised. And she does have a tendency to be impulsive and dumb.\n\nI was p1ssed, she was my friend and didn’t even take time to ask me for help?! She just decided to steal my money why?? I wouldn’t have done that to her. My boyfriend said I should confront her right away and demand my money back. I did take some time to think on it and  I invited her to go shopping for new outfits for the trip. Of course Kat accepted my invitation and I picked her up from her house. We talked like normal work and boyfriend stuff. At first I was just trying to see if she would admit it when it was just us two. But while we were looking around in the stores I made sure I brought up that I didn’t have enough money to spend a bunch on clothes to see if she’d react.\n\nShe just kept saying it’s okay and that she can pay for her own. Kat isn’t broke either by the way, just sometimes I offer to pay for her stuff too. On the drive back, I did  mentioned that my bank had flagged my account for fraud (this was also not true I wanted to see what she would say). And that it would make it more difficult to get money for the trip. Then I asked if she could help cover my portion of the trip since she’s my friend and I’d owe her big time.\n\nKat was blunt and kind of rude. She told me she \"wasn't comfortable\" giving me money and told me that the group rule was: \"If you can't pay, you don't go.\" Of course she says this damn well knowing she stole money from me. I snapped at her and said I knew everything. She tried to deny it, then started her ugly crying (if that’s rude oh well) claiming her boyfriend wouldn't help her and her hours at work were cut.\n\nI told her our friendship was over and she either pays me back all of it or I go to the police. She kept screaming and crying but I wasn’t buying it. We too far from her place AT ALL. I pulled over near public bus stop that had an indoor seating area and charging stations so I knew she’d be fine although if she went in or not I’m not sure. (it’s like 10 minutes from her house) I told her to get out and call her boyfriend. Kat yelled at me and smacked me on the face before getting out. She slammed the door and I flipped her off and drove away.\n\nShe’s been blowing up my phone calling me a b1tch and anything she could for “leaving her on the side of the road.” Anyways, Sherie and the other girls , and I still went to New Orleans (I went after Sherie waived the rule for me to help cover my missing portion after finding out). I will pay her back though. I’ve since involved the authorities and we are going to court to settle the money, yes it is small claims. She kept having her boyfriend message me to apologize, but I’ve blocked his number. Some people in our extended circle think me dropping her off “on the side of the road” even though it really wasn’t and was dangerous regardless of what she did? Clearly they got their information from her.\n\nI’ve had to revise this post as it was flagged before. But I’m happy to fix it cause all of it is bs and I’m just seeing if I’m actually the asshole somehow or if it’s just messy.\n\nAlso idc if this is overly detailed, I like making sure things aren’t missed. Perks of being a yapper.","offTopic":false},{"id":"32c7fad9-f4f4-4f99-b8e2-45b3be0148bf","excerpt":"My family was robbed and we know who did it. How do I comfort my family and confront the robber? — [1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3r3lu6/my_family_was_robbed_and_we_know_who_did_it_how/\n\n[2]: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3rmnu1/update_my_family_was_robbed_and_we_know_who_did/\n\n*","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BORUpdates/comments/1uejxrg/my_family_was_robbed_and_we_know_who_did_it_how/","role":"request","weight":1.060269,"occurredAt":"2026-06-24T17:26:02.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BORUpdates","intent":"feature_request","painScore":0.28777614,"sentiment":-0.21428572,"confidence":0.8233333,"matchedPatterns":["how_can_i","missing_feature"],"statement":"Mum lets me know she's going to take note of everything that's missing and file a report.","title":"My family was robbed and we know who did it. How do I comfort my family and confront the robber?","body":"[1]: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3r3lu6/my_family_was_robbed_and_we_know_who_did_it_how/\n\n[2]: https://www.reddit.com/r/relationships/comments/3rmnu1/update_my_family_was_robbed_and_we_know_who_did/\n\n**This is a repost sub. I’m not the Original OP (OOP)**\n\n**OOP: u/ValentineBlue**\n\n**Published on: r/relationships**\n\n**Story is:** `CONCLUDED`\n\n**Story timeline**\n\n- [**Main Post**][1]**: November 01, 2015**\n\n- [**Final Update**][2]**: November 05, 2015**\n\n---\n\n# Main Post\n\n^(November 01, 2015)\n\n---\n\n[**My family was robbed and we know who did it. How do I comfort my family and confront the robber?**][1]\n\nHi /relationships\n\n\nI'm completely devastated right now. So I live in city A but have been staying with my boyfriend for the passed couple days to sit my university exams in city B. I didn't bring much, just some clothes and my computer. \nAt home (in city A) I live at my mother's house alone with the family dogs and my cats. My mother lives at my father's house with him and the kids. While I'm away the house is empty. My mother goes over to my house twice a day to feed the animals and let them in/out.\n\n\nI got a call this morning from mum saying that the house has been robbed. Everything that isn't a large item was cleared out: TVs, laptops, even my clothes, bikes, shoes and make up. My immediate concern is the animals, who were accounted for and fine. Mum lets me know she's going to take note of everything that's missing and file a report. I thank her, hang up and start crying. The rest of the day I'm just filled with anger and hate and anxiety. \n\n\nMy mum later called me to tell me know that my little sister (9) let herself in and took some friends over to see the dogs. One of the friends was asking extremely suspicious questions:\n\n\n- \"so who lives here? Are you sure no one is here?\"\n- \"Whose car is that in the driveway?\" (its broken, just sits there)\n- \"Whose make up is that?\"\n- \"Do your dogs bite strangers?\"\nIt got to the point were my sister was uncomfortable and they left.\nThat night we were robbed.\n\n\nThese friends would have seen where we kept the spare key. I talked to my sister and I think she is feeling guilty. Yes it was stupid to show where the key was, but she's only 9 and has been friends with these girls for a while. My little sister showed my mother where this girl lives. The key was MISSING from it's spot; they still had it. I am worried that the evidence is not strong enough to warrant a police search of the house. \n\n\nHow should I approach them if the police do not? I can't just let it go. They have ~$10,000 worth of our stuff.\nThis happened in New Zealand so I'm not too sure if your legal advice is relevant here (although it may still help), at the moment I am just seeking advice on how to approach the thieves and how to comfort my little sister and family.\n\nThe door is now locked at the bolt on the inside since they have the key. But this does mean we need to get my little sister to jump through the window to unlock the door. And it also means that there's an open window that a kid can get through...I'm just feeling so stressed out and anxious, and I want to get back to make sure the thieves don't return and that my animals are safe. But I have an exam in 2 days, and travelling will take a day each way... Help me :( I've posted here to help relieve some anxiety as I haven't slept all night and the sun is coming up.\n   \n**tl;dr**: Little sister revealed a way to get into our house to some of her close friends. One of them asks suspicious questions. That night we were robbed. We are all fairly sure that girl led her family to our house. How can I confront the thieves, and make sure that my little sister isn't feeling like shit?\n\n**Update:** I sent an email to my paper coordinator and she has replied saying I should go home immediately and not to worry about the exam, and that I am guaranteed aegrotat pass based on my average throughout the paper. My mother has been amazing and reported everything. She gave the police the address of the suspected house. Turns out there is a 14 year old girl who is well known to the police there and they are going to move in on it. Fingerprints were found at my house and recorded. I'm packing my stuff now. One comment suggested talking to my sister about security and safety. I will do that, but first I want to let her know that she did a really good job connecting the suspicious behaviour and if it wasn't for her good detective work we wouldn't have a lead, or something along those lines just to help her feel better about the situation. Any recommendations? I will update when I home. Thank you for your replies     \n\n**uodate 2** wholey fuck. Im home. Just found some of our kitchen knives around the house. The thieves had walked around with them until they knew no one was home. The girl has gang connections as well. We've called the police and told them this information and they have upgraded the emergency of the case. All the locks have been changed and there's extra security on the windows. Mum doesn't want me to stay there tonight since I'm alone but I'm not gonna leave my pets there, and I'm worried about the furniture. Maybe I can just stay up all night on my computer. \n\n&nbsp;\n\n**COMMENTS**\n\n**goatismycopilot**\n> I would call the police and let them handle it.\n>\n> **egerstein**\n>> You may have enough circumstantial evidence to enable the police to enter the house or question the suspects. They may also be able to gather more by conducting a forensic investigation on your house. Report this to the police and tell them everything you know. \n>>\n>> **OOP**\n>>> Thanks, this gives me more confidence that it will be handled by the police. I hope so, probably the safest option. For now I'll put the thought of confrontation aside. It's 7.40am so my mother should be at the police station within a couple hours. I myself have to get some sleep. I'll update if anything changes. Thanks\n>>>\n>>\n>> **OOP**\n>>> I told my mother your suggestion. They're actually at the house now and have a good print! She says \"found one good print. have a strong lead, dealing with all that stuff now so can't message\". I sent her a heart :)\n>>>\n>>>> I just realized that I sent a smile face and how big of a deal that is. I've spent the last 24hours really upset but now I'm feeling hopeful!\n\n---\n\n**applesangria**\n> You don't confront this person, you contact the police immediately, then change all of the locks. You also let your sister learn from her mistakes- don't berate her or intentionally make her feel badly, but make clear that giving away personal information is dangerous and leads to situations like this. \n>\n> **OOP**\n>> My mother is sorting out the lock smith. Definitely going to the police. We will file a police report, but I just have a feeling that we don't have enough evidence for them to get a search warrant. And I feel like I have to do something, you know? Like I cant just let this go... But that confrontation depends if the police do search the house, I will update on that one.\n>>\n>>\n>> **Nora_Oie**\n>>> I don't know about New Zealand.  We had a similar situation (it was the neighbors).  The police would not investigate (although the amount stolen was way less).  They did take a report.  I think if you tell the whole story to the police, they may take action.  Even without a search warrant, the police might decide to go interview the people you suspect.\n>>>\n>>> You say there were a few girls - and you know the make and model of the car.  This should narrow it down to one girl.  The police should certainly go and talk to that family and if there's anything suspicious, that might trigger a search or a warrant.\n>>>\n>>> With a really good police force (unlike the one where I live), they may send someone to lift fingerprints - that would be the best outcome.\n>>>\n>>> Please be careful and secure your home.  Think about a security system (ours was self-installed, but the company that helped us via the internet/phone calls is outstanding and it costs $65 a month...has been worth it).\n>>>\n>>> **OOP**\n>>>> Police are at the house now and they have a good print and a good lead. I'm sorry about what happened with you and I thought the police's reaction would be the same but they're helping and taking prints right now! I'm really relieved.\n>>>> I was looking at security systems earlier today actually when I was too anxious to study. Found a decent looking one with good reviews for under $200 on aliexpress.\n>>>> Thanks for taking the time to post, I'm feeling a lot better reading these replies\n>>>>\n\n\n---\n\n**sunflower-power**\n> You should also check local pawn shops in your area for the missing items. If the thieves pawned anything you can get it back for free by showing your copy of the police report and it will become part of the police investigation. \n>\n> When this happened to a friend of mine, we went around to the local pawn shops and asked if anybody had pawned a guitar of X type, an amp, and some jewelry that looked like this or that. Pawn shops typically keep the pawned items in a back room until the ticket is either paid for in full or the time limit expires; the items then move to the floor for sale. We found my friend's stuff at the second shop we tried, and she got all of her stuff back. \n>\n> If anything was pawned in the last few days... You could go with a list and description of the missing items and might even find them all in one place! If you have pictures of the items and/or serial numbers that would also really help. \n>\n> **OOP**\n>> I have been checking Facebook buy sell and swap pages, but didn't think about the physical shops. Since the items are registered as stolen the police will be notified if they turn up. But I will still go around myself. Thank you!\n\n---\n\n**elmcityslim**\n> I know it's not legal advice, but hopefully this anecdote will make you feel a little better. \n>\n> Many years ago when my dad had his first place, he had friends over to play a game of cards. One of his friends brought a friend and very that my dad never met. My father thought that this guy seemed a little shady. He was asking a lot of questions about my dad's stereo and records. This was a Saturday evening. I'm sure you can see where this story is going. \n>\n> The following Monday, my father comes home from work to find his brothers dog panting in the corner with blood everywhere. The blood was all over his fur, and a trail led to a broken window where there was blood and chunks of flesh. The day before, my uncle left for a two week vacation and left his rottweiler with my dad to take care of. My dad never filed a police report because he feared they would take the dog away. Instead, he cleaned up the mess, went to the store, and bought the dog a nice chunk of steak. \n>\n> The following weekend, my dad and his buddies were out where they saw this guy with one of his forearms completely bandaged up. My dad, the ever inquisitive ass that he is, asked him what happened. The guy said it was a work accident. The mutual friend chimed in and said \"you told me you were attacked by a dog.\" an argument and ass beating quickly erupted. \n>\n> Morale of the story: don't let strange people in your house. But your sister shouldn't feel bad about it. Its just a hard lesson learned. \n>\n> **OOP**\n>> oh my that's absolutely awful :( We have two dogs at home, a German Shepard and a Border Collie. The collie was in the garage and the german shepard was in the bathroom. I'm actually glad they were locked up. Mum says there was sign of distress from the German shepard who our guard dog (the collie just loves everyone ever), the bathroom looked like the dog had been pacing around and clawing at the door (she's usually fine). Although I would love to think about these loser thieves opening the door to a growling German Shepard and being like \"nope.\", I'm glad my girl wasn't in danger. \n\n\n---\n\n# Final Update - after 4 days\n\n^(November 05, 2015)\n\n---\n\n[**[Update] My f","offTopic":false},{"id":"7ba3d8ed-6711-445f-bf79-f36fd54b1f70","excerpt":"My Roommate's(21F) Parents keep letting themselves into my (21 F) apartment with the spare key my roommate gave them — **I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ughhhelpmepleaseee**\n\n**My Roommate's(21F) Parents keep letting themselves into my (21 F) apartment with the spare key my roommate gave them.**\n\n**Originally posted to r/re","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1qqw5w3/my_roommates21f_parents_keep_letting_themselves/","role":"pain","weight":1.0458666,"occurredAt":"2026-01-30T05:00:05.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"problem_report","painScore":0.48,"sentiment":0.2,"confidence":0.70666665,"matchedPatterns":["frustrating"],"statement":"RM asked me where I was going, and I told her \"away from you.\" I guess that pissed her off, cause she got up and started yelling about how bad of a parent my mom is by teaching me how to \"go around the city with different guys\" and \"talk b…","title":"My Roommate's(21F) Parents keep letting themselves into my (21 F) apartment with the spare key my roommate gave them","body":"**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/ughhhelpmepleaseee**\n\n**My Roommate's(21F) Parents keep letting themselves into my (21 F) apartment with the spare key my roommate gave them.**\n\n**Originally posted to r/relationship_advice**\n\n**TRIGGER WARNING:** >!Physical violence, invasion of privacy, controlling behavior, theft!<\n\n**MOOD SPOILER:** >!Outrageous but positive ending!<\n\n [Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/cMoERSf5Um)  **May 5, 2019**\n\nBackround: my parent's are family friends with my roommate's parents. I was never really friends with my roommate in high school, but got to know her from living with her in a dorm. Recently, MY PARENTS got ME an apartment and pay  RENT every month. So pretty much, roommate's parent's don't pay \n\nOver the past few months when we come home from class,  we have walked in on\n1. Her mom doing our laundry almost every week. \n2. Her mom cooking food and cleaning for us \n3. HER MOM CLEANING MY FUCKING CLOSET and calling me a slut for having tube tops and mini skirts, etc\n5. Her Mom and dad chillin at the apartment Friday nights to make sure we don't party. \n\nI just can't deal anymore. I told my roommate to tell them to stop, but she said I'm overreacting. Am I overreacting? Should I tell my parents?\n\nI have lost my mind. Literally. Udhdudbdu helpppp.\n\nTLDR: MY roommate's mom keeps coming into my apartment\n\n**RELEVANT COMMENTS**\n\n**goddess-of-the-trees**\n\n>Omg fucking helicopter psychos. Tell her to have this stop immediately. This is a gross invasion of your space. Your home is supposed to be your sanctuary. If they continue, get the locks changed ASAP.\n\n**OOP**\n\n>>I can't, the building management doesn't allow lock changes. And everyone is allowed to have a spare, so they can't help 😭😭.\n>>\n>> She doesn't seem to think it's a big deal either.\n\n**radicalpastafarian**\n\n>>>Well it *isn't* a big deal to her. They are her parents. The three of them are entitled to treat each other whatever way they like. But they are not *your* parents. They are not entitled to treat you as they do her.\n\n**~**\n\n**Darkwings13**\n\n>Why did you let them freeload and invade your privacy? Tell your parents and give your roomate notice to get out by the end of the month.\n\n**OOP**\n\n>>When I was supposed to move out, her parent's didn't want her to have a \"new roommate\" on campus. I had no problem with her up till we moved out of campus housing, so I didn't mind her moving in with me. My parent's didn't mind it at all either.\n\n\n**Editors Note: OOP removed edit 1 for space - I've added it back**\n\nEdit: I have tried asking them for their set of spare keys back a month after we moved in, and it ended in them yelling at me about how disrespectful I am to \"older people.\" I also tried to go through her mom's purse a few weeks ago,(which I probably shouldn't have done) and got caught by my roommate. She was really upset about it (which I totally understand) and haven't tried getting it back since.\n\nMini update: I took out edit 1 to shorten the post. I told my older brother about what happened, emailed my building manager, and was able to get a response from him saying I can put a lock on my bedroom door. Me and my brother went to home depot and got a basic lock. Her mom is currently cooking in the kitchen and watching my brother fix the lock. She doesn't look too happy. I'll update you all again when I tell my parents.\n\nEdit: sorry for all the edits but I think I need to clarify something. The reason my roommate isn't paying rent is cause her parents hit a tough spot financially last winter, and my dad wanted to ease the burden on them a little. He said he would help out by giving my roommate a place to stay so her parents could just worry about her tuition and not room/board.\n\nEdit 2: Imma tell my parents about it. I just didn't want to ruin their friendship as they were close friends for a lonnggggg time.\n\n**RELEVANT COMMENTS**\n\n**NookieNinjas**\n\n>No offense but it kind of annoys me that you can’t just be direct. Stand up for what’s yours. Your space, your privacy, your life. What happens if you want to bring someone over to fuck or something. I’d be blatantly direct about this issue. They need boundaries set sternly in front of them.\n\n**OOP**\n\n>>I deleted one of my edits to shorten the post, but I have been direct multiple times. With my roommate and her parents. Everytime I tell her parents something, I get shut down with \" how can you talk to someone older than you with no respect?\"\n\n**~**\n\n**moriginal**\n\n> This happened to me. I went to college in a beach town and My roommates parents co-signed for her. Soon after she moved in she also moved out to become a stripper and live with some dudes (??). Anyway so it was just me in a strange town and suddenly every weekend her mom would come stay at my apt with her (the moms) boyfriend ?\n>\n> I’d come home from class Friday and they’d just casually be cooking dinner ?? It was awkward af and I had to go to the landlord and the mom at one point literally begged me and said her daughter is a drug addict and she’d given her this one last chance (thanks a lot!!) and she is stuck on the lease for paying the rent for a year so she should at least be able to use it as a vacation house....\n>\n> I finally had to consult a lawyer and the landlords to explain that a co-signer doesn’t mean tenant. When I was like 19. Anyway.\n>\n> That was the first year of my college experience that only got 1000x worse.\n\n\n[Update 1](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/wk1XMskOuk)  **May 6, 2019 (Next Day)**\n\nRM= roommate's mom   R=Roommate\n\nI came back from my morning run around 7 am this morning, and RM and R were in the kitchen making some coffee. She has never been there this early before. \n\nI decided to talk to them about everything prior to going to class. I atarted off with \"hey auntie, can we talk?\" (In brown culture everyone is called an aunt) and these are some points I listed:\n\n1. I appreciate that she has been cooking and cleaning, but I want to do that on my own. I love to cook and felt that I was never allowed in my own kitchen. I also told her that I want to do my own laundry and clean my room myself. \n\n2. I don't want her in my room. I reminded her that I talked to her about this when it first happened, and that's why I put the lock on the door.\n\n3. I told her that if she wants to be with R, to let R text me and lmk that RM would be in the apartment. \n\nThey expressed understanding and I hugged it out with RM. \n\nBefore going to class, I put a load of laundry. My friend is having a birthday dinner today, and I decided to wear this cute white dress with an open back (my mom even got me this dress since she thought it was so cute) and tossed it in the washer so it could be fresh for tonight. I asked RM multiple times if she was planning on doing laundry today, and she said no. I told her that I would be back around 1, and she can do laundry when I finish mine later this afternoon if needed (I didn't want her touching my clothes). She was okay with it and said R didn't have laundry today. Cool. I left feeling really relieved, but I still locked my bedroom door. \n\nI got back to my apartment about half hour ago, and I couldn't find my white dress. As soon as I came home, R looked nervous. My clothes were in the dryer, and I didn't do that for a fact. RM states that I put them in the dryer and just forgot. Ughhh. I locked myself in my room, and I know she probably took the dress as it was something she wouldn't approve of.\n\nWhen I was in my room, I heard RM talking to R in our language, she told her daughter something along the lines of \"idk why she's freaking out about that dress. In India, escorts and prostitutes wear those kinds of clothing.\" And she went on to tell R that I won't find a husband wearing stuff like this.\n\nI honestly think she wanted me to hear all that.  is she is seriously just being a passive aggressive bitch to me rn? I'm trying so hard not to break down and cry. \n\nI'm heading over to my parents right now and I'm telling them everything when they come back home tonight. I'll keep you posted.\n\n\n[Update 2](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/gdhAeExjBw)  **May 8, 2019 (2 days later)**\n\nOkay guys, I'm sorry for updating you guys late and for the super long post, but I want to make sure I get important details in there.  \n\n**Editors Note the following 3 paragraphs were edited out of the post but visible on rareddit (added them back in)**\n\nWhen I left my apartment yesterday to go to my parents house, I forgot to take my credit card. I walked back up to my apartment, and R was studying while RM was watching TV. RM asked me where I was going, and I told her \"away from you.\" I guess that pissed her off, cause she got up and started yelling about how bad of a parent my mom is by teaching me how to \"go around the city with different guys\" and \"talk back to adults.\" I was so frustrated, I ended up cussing her out.\n\nThis got her really really mad, and she ran to the kitchen and grabbed a wooden spoon from one of the drawers.\n\nThis crazy bitch was gonna hit me with a wooden spoon. I ran out of my apartment as fast as I could to my car, and I honestly could not stop laughing. This was insane.\n\n\nI THINK RM IS CRAZY and needs a MH checkup. Seriously. I am very worried for her wellbeing. \n\nMy mom was home, along with my brother, my brother's girlfriend, and her parents. I told them everything that happened, and no one liked what they heard. My mom called my dad to tell him what happened.\n\nWhen my dad came home, he hugged me immediately and started crying. Me being called a prostitute and a slut was too much for him to handle. I've never seen dad cry before, and it hurt me so so bad. \nMy mom called RM and RD and R to come over to talk. They came over immediately (they probably knew something was up from the tone of my mom's voice, she was so close to growling). \n\nMom was being petty though, when they came home, she didn't allow them inside. She made them stand on the doorstep the whole time, and I could tell this was pissing RM off. Some points of the confrontation:\n\n1. Why are you calling my daughter these names?\nRM: I didn't say anything. She's making        up lies. \n\n2. Why are you even in the apartment that much? You told us that you go there once a month to check on R. You also said she visits you every weekend?\nRM: The kids don't know how to cook, so I help. Also kids are busy studying so they need it. \n\n3. Why is a 50 year old man in my daughter's apartment?\n-no answer-\n\n4. Why are you going through my daughter's stuff? Why does she need a lock? Why are YOU limiting my daughter's times with her friends? \n-no answer-\n\n*I shall also mention that Roommate's dad was SITTING IN THEIR CAR ON THE DRIVEWAY DURING THIS WHOLE CONFRONTATION*\n\nBut things got heated up really quickly. RM started insulting my parents:\n\n- She said my mom is a bad mom because she never disciplined her children.\n\n- she said I am unruly and that the clothes I wear are despicable (she brought up clothes a shit ton, like this lady is really offended by my fashion sense). This annoyed my brother, and he showed RM IG pictures of R wearing more revealing clothing than me, and sitting on boys laps. RM shut her mouth about my clothes immediately. \n\n- She then proceeded to try to insult my parent's professions by saying they have \"God Complexes\". This pissed my brother off to the brink, and he replied with \" you own 3 subways and are almost broke, but we never say anything about it.\" This pushed RM OFF THE EDGE, and she leaned in closer to my brother and attempted TO SLAP HIM. \n\nThis lady tried to SLAP my 24 y/o brother IN FRONT OF MY PARENTS. \n\nThey argued more, and my mom asked where the dress was again. This time, she walked away to their car, and pulled my dress out of her purse. She came back to where we were standing AND LITERALLY THREW THE DRESS IN MY FACE.\n\nMy mom had no more patience left, and back Slapped RM across her face. I've neve","offTopic":false},{"id":"ef7ef0c1-4053-41fe-98b3-9b235a880047","excerpt":"[New Update]: Apparently we have to share our driveway because they have to share theirs. — **I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Accomplished-Cod8263**\n\n**Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell**\n\nPrevious BoRUs: [#1](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/9j5a280yNk)\n\n**[New Update]: Apparently we have to share our dr","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1nfnrvj/new_update_apparently_we_have_to_share_our/","role":"pain","weight":1.0458666,"occurredAt":"2025-09-13T04:02:06.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"problem_report","painScore":0.48,"sentiment":0.15789473,"confidence":0.70666665,"matchedPatterns":["frustrating"],"statement":"[New Update]: Apparently we have to share our driveway because they have to share theirs..","title":"[New Update]: Apparently we have to share our driveway because they have to share theirs.","body":"**I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Accomplished-Cod8263**\n\n**Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell**\n\nPrevious BoRUs: [#1](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/s/9j5a280yNk)\n\n**[New Update]: Apparently we have to share our driveway because they have to share theirs.**\n\n**NEW UPDATE MARKED WITH** ----\n\n**Thanks to u/soayherder & u/queenlegolas for suggesting this BoRU**\n\n**Editor's note: removed older relevant comments for more space in this latest update**\n\n**Trigger Warnings:** >!destruction of property, manipulation, harassment, animal abuse!<\n\n**Mood Spoilers:** >!frustrating!<\n \n----\n\n**RECAP**\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/neighborsfromhell/s/hFnYHcYTVt): **August 18, 2025**\n\nWe moved into my home when my daughter was 2 months old. Our neighbors were already showing signs of being a handful. They initially kept parking all of their vehicles (A huge truck, a jeep, and a motorcycle) on our driveway and taking up the entire space. We hoped that once they realized the driveway wasn't vacant and that someone had moved in that they would naturally stop. And they did sort of. The guy living next door kept driving down it on the motorcycle, and he would park it in the middle of the driveway still. Most of the time he was gone before my husband and I got home so there wasn't a confrontation.\n\nBut when my husband had to deploy and I broke my leg our car sat vacant in the driveway, unmoving. As soon as the neighbors realized this they just started using it as if it were there own again. He even parked his truck and used our driveway to change out his lifted tires. This went on for three months until I was well enough to walk up the steps and talk to them. I'm 5'2, and this guy towers over me. I don't know how to explain it but everything about his body language tells me this guy is dangerous. The way he walks and moves and wears his clothes, he gives me time served in jail vibes (though he was probably somebodies bitch) or at the very least hothead. So I was nervous and polite but firm, I said \"I need you to move your motorcycle off my driveway, this is not a shared space its private property.\" I hoped that would be the end of it. Of course it wasn't.\n\nHe never really stopped. That wasn't the worst of it either. They live on the top unit of their house (its a condo), and leave their trashcan open at the bottom of their steps (same side as my driveway). They drop down the whole weeks worth of trash into the trashcan below, and don't bother to clean up the mess they make. Initially they left it open for the bugs and the animals to be attracted to. One day I came home with my daughter (while my husband was still deployed) and I got swarmed horror movies style by all the bugs from their trashcan. I was scared. I know its silly to be scared of bugs, but I was worried they would bite my daughter and they did. We both got inside covered in welts on our arms and the back of our necks and our faces. We both have over-reactive skin when we get bites so they become big, round, red welts. It wasn't the first time, but it was the worst. I decided to message the property manager. The whole property was trashed, and was the obvious cause of a lot of the mosquitos.\n\nThey have a sign outside their house that says \"managed by ...\" I texted that number and let her know what was going on and sent pictures. It was a weekend, about 7 or 8am and I didn't know it wasn't a business number. The woman was extremely offended that I messaged her early and on a weekend. She seemed so angered by it that it was obvious she wasn't going to help, I asked her if I could have the landlords number. Big mistake. She isn't just managing the property she owns it- that's not what the sign outside said but that was enough to shut down all communication with her. She did mention it to my neighbors and they did start to close their trashcan lids but I could tell that however she worded it to them I was the problem and she didn't really care how much of a nuisance they were. She also included the downstairs neighbors, that had just moved in, in the text and from then on they gave me dirty looks too- I had specifically mentioned that I had not seen them contributing to the trash accumulation but it didn't really matter, I was making a name for myself with my neighbors and it wasn't good.\n\nThen the summer months came, and my husband came home, and the upstairs neighbors kids began playing outside more. Initially I had a soft spot for them. We don't live in a cul-de-sac and people drive fast down our street. I worried about them from far away and considered talking to the city to get permission to paint a hop-scotch pad out on the sidewalk out front and build a free library they could enjoy. There's a blind spot when you first turn into my driveway, and one day the kids were on it and I turned in. I was probably 10 feet away from them with my car, but it felt closer. Some of these kids are really small. When I got out of my car I asked them politely not to play in my driveway, that its not safe. They kind of got bashful, because they were little, and agreed and zipped off to the front of the houses. But from then on they ramped up. It was like we had become the boo-Radley of the neighborhood. They threw toys that hit our windows and doors, started walking up to our house in the dark and sitting on our back porch (like at 10pm). Then one day, encouraged by the eldest child who is 14, they broke a cinderblock with a sledgehammer and threw the pieces at our house and windows. The worst things always seemed to happen when my husband was away on the ship over night. Maybe they would see the car was gone and feel emboldened.\n\nI went outside and told the kids to get off my property or I would call the cops. The eldest said \"Do it. What are they going to do? We're kids. Its a driveway, get over it\". So, I called the cops. I had them properly tell the neighbors where the property line was and that we would start legal proceeding should they continue to trespass. I got more colorful no-trespassing signs at the recommendation of the officer. I did this three or so times and it became apparent that the police weren't really going to help. They said we had to file a civil case with the courthouse but couldn't tell us the names of the adults in the home for us to file the claim. Otherwise they said that unless the neighbors were actively on our property when they pulled up that they couldn't even issue a citation- even with video evidence from our cameras.\n\nI watched the children gather up the chunks of brick that they had thrown at our house, and they began to throw it at the downstairs neighbors dog. At first I saw them throwing it where the dog usually was, but I couldn't see if the dog was there and I hoped that he was away. But then one day I caught movement on my camera and I knew for sure that the dog was getting rocks thrown at it. I contacted animal control and they got ahold of the downstairs neighbors who weren't home at the time. The downstairs neighbor came over and I told her I wasn't trying to be a menace neighbor, that I don't hate kids, and that I had noticed her kid was the most well mannered of the bunch (which is true), and I showed her the video. We exchanged numbers. I wish I could say we found common ground and became friends or something but the woman has to live with those upstairs neighbors and I get the feeling she is just trying to stay in neutral ground (which I totally respect). The rocks stopped getting thrown at the dog, but we didn't talk much after that. She asked a few weeks later if I saw who stole her sons bike and I looked through my cameras and hadn't caught it. Otherwise we didn't talk.\n\nThe kids would twerk or flip off our cameras and continue to trespass, the whole family was still littering all over the driveway, and the father intentionally revved his motorcycle as he would go down it every other day, sometimes inches from our vehicle. We scrimped and saved for a fence and once we had most of the materials, applied for a permit from the city. We were recently gifted a lawnmower and my husband has been spending more time doing yard work. Yesterday the man next door, blatantly went down the driveway while my husband was there. and narrowly missed him with his motorcycle (probably on purpose). Angry words ensued and the man got off his motorcycle (still parked in our driveway) and we finally found out his logic. The reason he feels entitled to our driveway.\n\nHe said that its a driveway and he's not hurting it or us by going down it. My husband said he's breaking the law by trespassing and his kids have thrown rocks at our house- harm is being done. The man said that his kids throwing rocks and him going down our driveway are separate issues. My husband said you're a family, its not separate. Then the mans magnum opus of a statement, the reason he does what he does is because *his* landlord screwed him over and made him share the driveway with his downstairs neighbors so we should have to share ours. The man egged us to call the police. But at this point, we had the permit processed, we had the fence panels. My husband laughed at him and said we have our own solution.\n\nQue three or so hours later the man comes home to my husband putting up fence posts. They stand on their balcony as my husband works and whisper to each other but my husband can hear them. The man says \"that f\\*\\*\\*er that's probably not even the correct line\" and the woman says \"it is\" (because we have a survey and the police told them were the line was), The man says \"its not even that big of a deal.\"\n\nThe best part is. Its going to be a beautiful fence. My husbands initial gut reaction was to get a 6-footer but the city wouldn't allow us to take it all the way to the sidewalk. So we have these really nice gothic picket panels and some pretty cedar stain and seal. And they didn't have the gothic posts so we used 2x4s instead and we are going to put up really nice solar lights on them. We didn't put it directly on the property line, but we didn't leave them enough room to continue to bring their trashcan down our driveway, and the motorcycle most certainly won't fit. I already have the plants I want picked out to plant next year (we are pretty broke so they will have to wait).\n\nI don't think this is going to be solved by just putting up the fence. I wish it would be the end of it. But even though I hate confrontation, it was a relief to finally start working on a solution. It brings me joy to imagine them seething inside every time they look at our adorable gothic fence with adorable solar lights. I hope it is as frustrating to them as this whole unnecessary ordeal has been for us.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n[Update #1](https://www.reddit.com/r/neighborsfromhell/s/7RWlzjiUGw): **August 20, 2025 (two days later)**\n\nSmall update: Apparently we have to share our driveway because they have to share theirs.\n\nSo its been 3 days since we started building the fence. My husband has gotten three posts in (hes working on it between weather, work, and a toddler so its going slow).\n\nWe contacted the bottom neighbor and let them know that they will want to move a riding lawn mower that will get locked in place by the fence and they are working on it (it has a dead battery).\n\nAnd -drumroll please- the wife of the upstairs neighbors actually asked us if it was okay for her kid to take his trashcan down the driveway this one last time (he couldnt do it without asking because we had a line up between the completed posts).\n\nI know thats not a huge victory but it is the literal first time anyone from that family has asked anything or even been a little polite. My husband allowed it, stating the fence will be up before they can bring the trashcan back so they will want to plan for that. It benefits us in our fence building for the trash can to be removed from its location anyway because its been butting against the property line.\n\nI know its not the blood","offTopic":false},{"id":"45ee6e05-0d9c-4a56-8c4c-0b1fee6b3f7c","excerpt":"Neighbor is harassing my gf but also there's a mystery stalker?? — **I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/SharkLovingTrash**\n\n**Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell**\n\n**Neighbor is harassing my gf but also there's a mystery stalker??**\n\n**Editor's note: FYI this post is LONG. Also made small edits for ease of readability**\n\n**T","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1s99wvv/neighbor_is_harassing_my_gf_but_also_theres_a/","role":"request","weight":1.0209333,"occurredAt":"2026-04-01T04:02:09.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"problem_report","painScore":0.24,"sentiment":0.6530612,"confidence":0.8233333,"matchedPatterns":["how_can_i","workaround"],"statement":"He brought out a hand drawn diagram of our street made of duct tape, paint & sharpie & used a pointer to show where our apartment is and where his is & how she could easily avoid him by parking far away, to which the judge said “but that w…","title":"Neighbor is harassing my gf but also there's a mystery stalker??","body":"**I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/SharkLovingTrash**\n\n**Originally posted to r/neighborsfromhell**\n\n**Neighbor is harassing my gf but also there's a mystery stalker??**\n\n**Editor's note: FYI this post is LONG. Also made small edits for ease of readability**\n\n**Trigger Warnings:** >!transphobia, verbal abuse, destruction of property, mental health issues, obsessive behavior!<\n\n----\n\n**Editor's note: the original post's body text was saved before it was deleted**\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/neighborsfromhell/comments/1pm6cn4/): **December 14, 2025**\n\nSo this might be a bit long but… here it goes! my gf (26f) & I (30 trans man) live in an apartment complex. A few months ago I found a written note attached to some packages outside. The note was random & didn’t really make sense. It talked a lot about having pizza in our basement, that they’ve spoken to my gf in their dreams, just a lot of nonsense. I showed it to her, we assumed it was our neighbor who has a tendency to leave weird notes around, but we ultimately thought he was harmless, so I took a picture of it just in case & tossed it.\n\nFlash forward a month or so, she starts receiving texts. The texts are the same nonsense but amplified. They talked about how they know she works for NASA, the CIA, the FBI, said they have a camera on our home 24/7 from space, that he was buying the complex for $30 billion & was going to find her, just craziness. I immediately informed our apartment manager who documented everything & informed me that a man was wandering around at night & was caught multiple times by others who when confronted, stated he was buying the complex. Ok great. Same guy. We called the police, but they couldn’t do anything because we didn’t know the guys identity & he was using an anonymous texting app to send texts & wouldn’t tell us who he was. Soooo we installed cameras, I informed neighbors of the situation & we are being overly cautious.\n\nOne of the neighbors I informed, was the neighbor we originally thought the note was from & his wife, he was disgusted & said he’d keep an eye out.\n\nWell about a week ago, this same neighbor who is a late 60s-early 70s year old man, decides to pull my girlfriend aside as she’s coming home from work at night & confesses his undying love for her. This man fully says that he’s in love with her & has never felt this way about anyone before, & he wanted to know if she felt the same way. She politely reminded him that he’s married, to which he said “I’ve been divorced 25 years..” but yet he still lives with this woman. She as nice as possible informed him she was not interested & it wouldn’t happen. To which he hugged her, and she came inside and informed me what happened. I was livid. She has helped this man and his “ex” wife multiple times. I have helped them constantly. I have spoken to him constantly. He’s always been a bit odd, but we thought he was just socially awkward & it was all mildly innocent.. occasionally he’d cross a line (saying she looked good in an outfit because it was low cut) but again, we both considered it harmless. He would occasionally buy her gifts (once buying her chocolates & sometimes weed???), give her money for things like Christmas. We assumed it was just because she was helpful & on occasion he’d do the same for me (once buying me a sandwich because he was going to the sub shop & saw me outside before going). We thought nothing of it. Now, I’m not so sure lol.\n\nTonight, he shows up at our apartment door, banging on it angrily. After the weird situation that happened, she went upstairs and hid & I answered the door. He immediately asks to talk to her & I said she was tired and sleeping. He gets visibly mad. Starts storming off & I ask, “do you need anything though?” & he angrily goes “NO”, gets in his car and speed drives away. I personally am tired of this. We already have one stalker & now someone we trusted, is someone I do not want around at ALL.\n\nI do not think he is the stalker. He has absolutely ZERO technology skills at all & I don’t think he’d be capable of using a texting app. He can barely use his phone & it’s one of the things I’ve had to help him with, just for basics. Quite literally the type to fall for Facebook scams (he thought Mark Zuckerberg was personally messaging him asking for money). I’m just so mad that we’ve already been on edge & now I have this old weirdo showing up all angry because I said he can’t talk to her. Also worth noting, his truck apparently broke down so “he had to park it in my gfs parking spot” so now she’s using his. She does have pepper spray, as well as other tools of defense. I, myself, am a pretty short scrawny guy, so as much as I’d love to go over & handle it myself, I’m not exactly equipped to defend myself if he gets crazy.\n\nWhat would y’all do in this situation? I think I’m going to call the apartment manager tomorrow but the odds that they’ll do much are slim to none. I will probably delete this, just for safety reasons but genuinely, I’m at a loss.\n\n**Relevant Comments**\n\n**OOP needs to stop helping the neighbor**\n\n> **OOP:** oh we are not helping him with a single thing ever again. that was decided the moment he opened his mouth to tell her he was in love with her. I’ve told her to try and avoid any contact with him if possible & if he bothers her, to text me & I’ll come outside. He completely lost the help privileges but he has a tendency to stop both of us & try to talk.\n\n**OOP should document everything, speak with the landlord to them let them know. Get a doorbell camera**\n\n> **OOP:** we got a doorbell cam for the front and another camera for the back! so far we haven’t received any other messages from the mystery stalker. I do think if it was the neighbor, other neighbors would’ve also recognized him & folks had no clue who the guy walking around at night was. we also had an incident a few weeks ago where someone rang our doorbell, I checked outside, & it was someone i’ve seen lurking on our property through cameras twice. I went outside & he ran into the woods, it wasn’t someone she or I recognized & we heavily speculate that’s who’s been sending texts. So far I have been documenting absolutely everything in relation to that, but I’m going to have to start with the neighbor now as well. We are honestly just hoping to move at this point.\n\n**Can OOP and his GF move?**\n\n> **OOP:** oh we absolutely do, we are in the process of looking & are going to get out of here. This isn’t even the first time neighbors have been weird or creepy, as she’s had anonymous love notes left on her car but i’m starting to wonder if it’s been this old man the entire time.\n\n**How did the mystery person get the GF's number?** \n\n> **OOP:** we have absolutely no idea. they knew her full name & obviously know our address, so i’m unsure if they were just able to look it up, I tried but couldn’t find much other than paid websites & one site that a friend said to check that had all her info on it, but it didn’t come up in the google search. we did block mystery person, per the police’s recommendation & plan on cutting off all contact with the neighbor.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n[Creepy neighbor STILL hasn’t moved his truck.](https://www.reddit.com/r/neighborsfromhell/s/1BQmb1dQhZ): **December 18, 2025 (four days later)** \n\nI posted a few days ago about my neighbor who is an older man (late 60s-early 70s). To make a long story short, he has been consistently inappropriate with my girlfriend, finally confessing he is in love with her about last week. She rejects him & he shows up a few days later all big and angry that I said he can’t talk to her.\n\nHis most recent tactic is parking in my girlfriend’s reserved parking spot. Claiming his truck broke down & her spot was the only one open. Lies. All LIES. Our parking lot has plenty of open, not reserved spaces. HIS spot is 10 feet away. Not only that, he backed into the spot.. also.. neutral exists? Put it in neutral and go somewhere else…. He claims she can park in his spot instead. NOPE. It’s right next to his house & we believe he wants to monitor when she’s home and when she’s not. She didn’t park there & suddenly she’s getting a text from his wife asking why (his wife doesn’t know about any of this & we don’t want to tell her).\n\nAlso! Someone keyed my girlfriend’s car. We have no issues with anyone else in this neighborhood or anyone in general. So despite having no proof, we are certain it was him. We also noticed this the day after he showed up pissed off.\n\nI have already called the apartment manager & reported all of this. She is having them put a warning sticker on his truck, stating it will be towed if it isn’t moved. She’s doing everything she can to try and resolve this & even told me he’s not on the lease & shouldn’t be there in the first place. GREAAAAT.\n\nI am so beyond sick of this man, i’m fully done. I don’t care if he simply knocks on the door at this point, i’m notifying the police.\n\nHe has written her love letters, given her money, given her gifts, chocolates, weed, all of which we have unfortunately thrown away. He makes comments on her appearance, her body, everything. Dude goes as far as to grab our packages at the front door & move them to the back, sometimes showing up at 10 at night to let us know he moved packages. We once emptied the trash & left the bag on the steps to bring out to the dumpster, as we were leaving soon & dude took it upon himself to bring it for us (this was about a day after he confessed he was in love with her). This would be a nice neighborly gesture if he wasn’t such a damn weirdo.\n\nI even recall one incident when I first moved in where he knocked on the door at 2am, then ran away. I physically saw him & I was home alone, had no idea who the guy even was at this point.\n\nWhat would y’all do? We are trying to move but money is tight & apartments are expensive, we got lucky living here because it’s affordable. I start a new job in a few weeks which will be helpful but we are kinda stuck at this point.\n\n**UPDATE:** So girlfriend & I called the police. The officer was extremely kind & helpful. He agreed this guy is definitely a creep & told us to call tomorrow to file for a restraining order. He did go over to try & talk to creepy neighbor, but he wasn’t home, so he spoke to his wife instead. Gave his phone number & said creepy had to call him. He informed us he did look him up & he doesn’t gave an arrest record.. so that’s good… I guess… OH & since they threatened to tow his truck, it magically decided to work and was moved out of the parking spot. Amazing! So girlfriend is going to call tomorrow to try and get that protective order handled. That’s all I have for now! But I will update if anything else comes up…. but honestly, hoping I don’t have to update ever again looool\n\n**Relevant Comments**\n\n**OOP should get restraining order and ask to break the lease with the landlord for his and his GF’s own safety** \n\n> **OOP:** luckily, we are month to month, so we don’t have a long lease! but we are definitely notifying police today when she gets home.\n\n**OOP should talk with the neighbor’s wife to let her know what was going on. Why wasn’t the neighbor on the lease** \n\n> **OOP:** they have been divorced multiple times, most recently in 2017. I know she was living there with their son, who unfortunately passed away & I do wonder if he moved in again after that. Mostly, we are concerned with how telling his wife could escalate his own behavior towards us. If anything, I think we’d be more comfortable reporting to the police & having them pay a visit and reveal the news, vs us telling her directly. We are trying to limit contact with both of them as much as possible.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n[UPDATE: creepy neighbor still hasn’t moved his truck](https://www.reddit.com/r/neighborsfromhell/s/jIPDVMjvmn): **January 28, 2026 (nearly 1.5 months later)**\n\nSo I posted not too long ago about my creepy neighbor & him being wildly inappropriate and stalking my girlfriend…. we h","offTopic":false},{"id":"230e4755-91ff-4e77-8aad-2f0db06bac56","excerpt":"I (24F) think I’m being stalked - and I can’t tell by how many people — **I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Any-Jello-9719**\n\n**Originally posted to r/creepyencounters**\n\n**I (24F) think I’m being stalked - and I can’t tell by how many people**\n\n----\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/s/Ij6WjT2B9y): **Marc","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1s3x6qz/i_24f_think_im_being_stalked_and_i_cant_tell_by/","role":"request","weight":1.0135417,"occurredAt":"2026-03-26T04:02:06.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"problem_report","painScore":0.39,"sentiment":0.87096775,"confidence":0.7291667,"matchedPatterns":["workaround"],"statement":"Wired in but what clued me in was duct tape on the wiring around the side of the seat.","title":"I (24F) think I’m being stalked - and I can’t tell by how many people","body":"**I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Any-Jello-9719**\n\n**Originally posted to r/creepyencounters**\n\n**I (24F) think I’m being stalked - and I can’t tell by how many people**\n\n----\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/s/Ij6WjT2B9y): **March 7, 2026**\n\nReposted to break up text wall. Burner account, obviously. I know the title sounds paranoid, but please bear with me.\n\nI work full-time at a public university in the US as an office manager and am enrolled in grad school at the same institution. I graduate this May.\n\nI have in-person night classes three days a week that start right after I get off work. My apartment is on the first floor of a complex about 10 minutes away. Over the past few months, I’ve had numerous bizarre occurrences around my home and workplace.\n\nThe first, to my knowledge, was in September, and was something my neighbor across the hall (very sweet older woman) told me. A man was banging on my door for around an hour just after midnight. I was not home.\n\nMy neighbor poked her head out to ask him what was going on, and he said he was a door dasher (with no food or bags in his hands, apparently). My neighbor watched him through the peephole and told me he tried the doorknob multiple times. No Ring camera or anything - so no footage.\n\nAs far as I know, he didn’t come back, but I’ve also had three or four instances over this several-month period where someone knocked on my bedroom window (blackout curtains always closed) late at night loud enough to wake me and my tiny dog. Never saw who it was.\n\nIn October, a woman came to my sliding glass door about a month later demanding to come in because her stolen “device” had apparently been pinging my apartment. When I refused, she called the Sheriff’s department. The deputy who came asked me a couple questions and left, but did confirm that a device was pinging my apartment.\n\nNever found out if she meant a phone or what. The woman hung out in the parking lot before leaving a few minutes later. Obviously I’ve never stolen any phone, so I was completely bewildered. Never saw her again.\n\nIn December, things came to a head when I found a plug-in GPS tracker in the OBD *(editor’s note: On-Board Diagnostics)* port under my dashboard. Car dealership where it got serviced last said they didn’t use that brand (LandAirSea, and yes I have the model and serial#) and didn’t perform any services that would have warranted putting it in there.\n\nI called the cops and they just wrote down a few details and left. University police were also informed since the tracker was \\*probably\\* placed either on campus or at my apartment.\n\nThe tracker was the biggest red flag. I never check my OBD port, so I have no idea how long it was there. I told my unit director, and he offered to subtly remove mentions of me around the office and on the website, which I accepted. I am, however, posted up at the office front desk for like 80% of my day.\n\nThis past Tuesday, right before I left for lunch, a middle-aged man came into the office wearing a hairnet, surgical mask, hoodie, and sunglasses. He claimed to be a prospective student and had questions about FAFSA.\n\nHe was extremely hard to understand. I directed him to the financial aid office across campus, and he kept asking questions that our office cannot answer.\n\nI thought sure, fine, maybe harmless and just not all there mentally. He walks over to our coffee machine (not for communal use btw but I didn’t want to be a bitch) and just starts making coffee. He’s still there when I leave and one of my staff watches the desk while I’m out.\n\nWhen I return from lunch, he’s gone, but walks in after me a few minutes later and just sits in the lobby on his phone before getting up to leave almost immediately.\n\nI was off work Wednesday and Thursday, so I came in Friday. I felt like giving my mostly-undergrad staff a break so I gave them permission to head home early, inadvertently leaving me alone in the office.\n\nThe man came back wearing the exact same clothes, mask, hairnet, and sunglasses within 5 minutes of the office clearing out. Our office is technically open to the public, but isn’t really public-facing, and he had no reason for being there, especially that late in the day.\n\nHe came in, barely acknowledged me, and said he was going to bring back bottled water for our coffee machine. He left again. I’m very creeped out by this so I messaged my director (working remotely) and he got an IT guy from the adjacent building to come over with his laptop to keep my company.\n\nI explain the situation, and he said he’d stay with me till close. He settles in my director’s office just around the corner, but it still looked like I was alone.\n\nThe man does come back without water, and leans against the desk trying to start a conversation with me. IT guy comes around the corner and stands between me and him, and he quickly changes the subject and asks about financial aid again (for the fourth time in as many days) before being directed away and leaving immediately.\n\nI’m strongly considering informing campus police about this. Like I said, they already know about the tracker.\n\nI have had problems in the past during my undergrad years at a different institution with men and a woman being creepy towards me, but nothing to this level. I have no idea what to do.\n\nI can’t tell what’s isolated and what’s connected. My family lives an hour away and has been no help at all. I have a sinking feeling that things are going to escalate.\n\nAny advice on what I should do or change at home, work, or elsewhere is appreciated. I’m open to further questions.\n\n**Relevant / Top Comments**\n\n**Downvoted Commenter:** It is all isolated. Please speak with a psychiatrist.\n\n> **OOP:** I’m not going to have a psychotic break. Other people close to me have told me that this is all weird and I was right to report it\n\n**Commenter 1:** Buy security cameras or a ring camera for the front door. Tasers are cheap on Amazon and there’s companies that sell knives disguised as pens or combs, I have several of those. You might also wanna check out those devices that reveal/ping on electronics secretly placed in apartments/houses to record people. What did the woman look like who came to your sliding door?\n\n> **OOP:** I remember her being very skinny and tanned with hair dyed platinum blonde. I also have a gun that I CC pretty much wherever it’s legal, but never on campus.\n\n**Commenter 2:** Get a friend it neighbor to check in on you every day. Can you vary the way you go home every day?\n\n> **OOP:** It’s pretty much a straight shot home but I can take the longer route or zigzag a little. Unfortunately it’s highly likely that the tracker logged my workplace and home already.\n\n**Commenter 3:** Definitely inform campus police to start your paper trail. I’m very paranoid when it comes to any paperwork, so I’d ask for copies of the police report regarding that lady, and ask for a copy after you tell campus police. Make sure it’s in writing about the tracker, too.\n\nAre there cameras in the office, also?\n\n> **OOP:** Both county and campus police know all there is to know about the tracker, but are yet to be filled in on the office visitor. The hallway cameras will have captured what he was doing in the building, but not in the office itself.\n\n**Commenter 4:** was a victim of stalking by an ex for over two years. Do you have anyone in your past that was abusive or took a breakup hard? Anyone with access to \"flying monkeys\"?\n\nThe tracker is most concerning to me. If you found one, there might be another. I had two on my car. One of them was under the driver's seat. Never did find the other one before the ex made the car go bye bye. (Took it from in front of the courthouse by the way, while I was inside filing a restraining order). \n\nHe even had another ex of his who he reconciled with, stalk me. Weird af, eh?\n\nThe tracker I found under the seat was a small, white unmarked box that looked like it belonged with the car. Wired in but what clued me in was duct tape on the wiring around the side of the seat. \n\nI would also have your apartment checked for bugs. Be aware of conversations you have with others, and if someone brings up an off the wall topic that you've spoken with someone else about in the recent time frame, sure sign of a bug. Cell phones can also be bugged these days and you don't have to click on any links or answer any calls to have it happen. \n\nYou need cameras for sure, and enforcers for your doors. Check the screws on the wall part of the door. If they're the short screws  then re-enforce with long screws. Amazon also sells gadgets that go from door handle to floor, and will make it harder for anyone to get in. If you have sliding glass doors, put a 2x4 in the slider when the door is shut to prevent entry. Do the same with your windows if possible. Keep \"Fo Bats\" in every room. (Baseball bats for their grill. 😏)\n\nProtect yourself. Document everything. I still don't leave my home with less than three self protection items ON MY PERSON in different locations. Pepper spray is worthless by the way. I doused the crap out of him one night and he was still able to get ahold of me and sit on me before it started affecting him. He could have killed me in the time it took. \n\nWhen walking through parking lots keep your shoulders back and your head on a swivel. Make sustained eye contact with anyone that makes you feel off. \n\nYou got this but you have to do the heavy lifting right now. The universe will take care of the rest. \n\n> **OOP:** Car seems to be clear of anything else, as is my apartment. Had a friend search them up and down with me. I don’t think there’s anyone in my past who would do this, so I think it was someone I’m not close with or a total stranger.\n> \n> I also have a gun that I always CC except on campus. I trust it over pepper spray any day but I have no choice but to invest in nonlethal for work. Sorry to hear you had such a horrible experience :(\n\n**Commenter 5:** The invisible man is highly suspicious and you should definitely report him. Mask, hairnet, hoodie, and sunglasses, in a non-public area and not giving good reason to be there, is huge cause for concern.\n\nI suggest a doorbell and dashcam camera, and get someone you trust to walk you to and from your car at work.\n\nThe random woman incident may or may not be related, but you did the right thing to remain cautious. The window knocking could also just be idiots, but again you are right to ignore it just in case.\n\n&nbsp;\n\n[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/creepyencounters/s/albssxBWc6): **March 19, 2026 (nearly two weeks later)**\n\n**[UPDATE] I (24F) think I’m being stalked - and I can’t tell by how many people**\n\nHey everyone. I am alive and well, but not exactly relieved. I got a lot of great advice on my first post and wanted to let you know what all has happened and what I’ve done. It’s been a lot.\n\nThe two incidents that I and most everyone else were concerned about were the tracker and the office visitor.\n\nFirst off, the owner of the tracker in my car has been identified and is TOTALLY harmless. I called LandAirSea, and they told me that it was, in fact, the car dealership’s device that somehow kept getting unplugged and plugged back in (I guess they assumed it was mine) every time it was serviced.\n\nWhen I initially called them in December, the dealership swore up and down it wasn’t theirs, so I’m really irritated that they were so adamant in their denial. The LandAirSea rep I spoke to was very understanding as to why this would be concerning, and even said he was surprised the police didn’t subpoena the company when I reported it. \n\nRegardless, that at least crosses the tracker off the list of issues.\n\nAs for the office visitor, it’s unfortunately an ongoing concern that has escalated. I called campus police last Monday (3/9) and they explained that my director had reported the guy to them already the day before I made my first post.\n\nPolice didn’t tell me much aside from the","offTopic":false},{"id":"d6a26ee5-2fd2-4505-a12b-63b3358ad6f2","excerpt":"How can I find out who is leaving creepy/threatning notes at my child's grave? — **I am not The OOP, OOP is u/marblebulldog**\n\n**How can I find out who is leaving creepy/threatning notes at my child's grave?**\n\n**Originally posted to r/RBI**\n\n**TRIGGER WARNING:** >!Loss of a child, stalking, harassment, vanadlism, anim","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1rw9rmj/how_can_i_find_out_who_is_leaving/","role":"request","weight":0.9372899,"occurredAt":"2026-03-17T15:29:32.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"feature_request","painScore":0.13840877,"sentiment":0.5714286,"confidence":0.8233333,"matchedPatterns":["wish","how_can_i"],"statement":"“you should be glad that A (insert our child name) died, so she won’t grow up with you both and live with you…it is better and I wish the new baby don’t live too I hope (insert my wife’s name) falls on the stairs and the ugly baby dies and…","title":"How can I find out who is leaving creepy/threatning notes at my child's grave?","body":"**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/marblebulldog**\n\n**How can I find out who is leaving creepy/threatning notes at my child's grave?**\n\n**Originally posted to r/RBI**\n\n**TRIGGER WARNING:** >!Loss of a child, stalking, harassment, vanadlism, animal abuse, obsessive behavior and threats!<\n\n**MOOD SPOILER:** >!Unsettling, scary and creepy!<\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/RBI/s/qPGPSLmeUs)  **July 17, 2016**\n\nI’m writing this post both to vent but also to see if anyone got advice on how to handle the situation.\n\n\nI’m located in Scandinavia, with rather strict laws concerning surveillance cameras, otherwise I would have gone down that path long ago.\n\n\nThe situation: My wife and I lost our child to cancer 1.5 years ago, our child was then a toddler. This of course left us devastated and our way back from the darkness wasn’t easy. But we gave our daughter a very beautiful grave, and visiting it daily helped us through the grief.\n\n\nBut then we started getting notes. Written on computer, not handwritten. Nasty notes about us (mainly me though), sometimes threats and also expressing hopes that the child my wife if now expecting also dies. Someone broke the wings of the angel on the gravestone, destroyed the flowers etc.\n\n\nI have no idea who this is, I have no my knowledge no enemies and neither does my wife.\n\nHow can I find out who it is, without breaking the law (setting up a camera)?\n\n\nI sometimes get a feeling that perhaps it is someone closer to me than I realize. The reason is that when this first started, the notes always appeared in connection to us letting people know that we had been visiting the grave. If I went there on Monday, and for example told on facebook that I had visited the grave and planted some beautiful flowers, then a note would be there the following day. It felt like a pattern but could have been coincidental.\n\n\nThis is driving us insane. My wife, pregnant and sensitive as it is, can’t visit the final resting place of our first child without fear and anger. I too get very upset of course, but more infuriated.\n\n\nI want to know who is doing this - all advice is very much appreciated, maybe one of you can think of something we’ve missed.\n\n\nUPDATE: some asked us to do a list of \"suspects\". We tried really hard to think of anything that could be an issue, this is what we came up with:\n\nL : on my previous workplace L was a co worker who claimed that I got promoted because I had a kid on the way, and was pissed about that. But that was years ago.\n\n\nB: Before I met my wife I dated B, and we had a good relationship. I saw no crazy in her. But, she wanted a childfree life and I love children, so we parted and it was a mutual decision. She also moved to another town. But since you guys asked me to list ex’s I’ll do that.\n\n\nE: my wife’s ex – she dumped him for me, but he is now married so he should have gotten over that.\n\n\nV: when we installed our new kitchen we hired a polish guy to do some of the work. Sadly language barriers made it hard and we ended up having lots of problems. In the end I had to let him go and find someone else to do the job. He was angry, but surely that’s not a reason to stalk us now.\n\n\nC: C is not on my facebook actually but I’ll list her anyway because she is a weirdo. She lived next door to us before we moved, and she had this very very, sick dog. So sick that it cried when it tried to walk, it was skin and bones and misery on four legs. Someitmes it fell down and couldn’t get back up. My wife reported that, and we never saw the dog again. C was a strange person. Not mean or nasty to people, but odd.\n\n\nNurse A; a nurse at the hospital that treated our daughter, also not on FB. We made a complaint about her after finding out that she didn’t give our child the pain meds on the right times, but waited too long to administer them. We weren’t rude, we didn’t shout or anything, we just wanted the best care for our kid. Also, when our child wished to go to a kennel and play with puppies, we did that, but Nurse A said we shouldn’t because of our child’s state. We went anyway and she was pissed for the rest of that weekend.\n\nThat is all we can think of.\n\n\n\nUPDATE 2\n\nThis is a translation of the latest letter (12 of july) I have translated it with grammar/spelling mistakes /sentence structure and all.\n\n\n“you should be glad that A (insert our child name) died, so she won’t grow up with you both and live with you…it is better\n\n\nand I wish the new baby don’t live too I hope (insert my wife’s name) falls on the stairs and the ugly baby dies and it would be better... Company for little (insert lost daughter’s name)…maybe she eats something with razor blades and cut her belly open…\n\n\nI don’t think that the child under the dirt here was a good person either I think it was a bad person and she died because it was good that she died… I applauded it when the people that are bad die\n\n\nand I have advice: 9mm and your pain stop! Easy, easy\n\n\nI am not evil I am normal and I do this because I like it and I don’t like you and I smile when I think that you are hating this\n\n\nHOW DO YOU LIKE MY ARRANGEMENTS ON THE GRAVE? I like it much better this way. Don’t be so negative!\"\n\n\nUPDATE 3\n\nI haven’t had much free time today, chaos at work,  but I translated one of the  letters previously found at the grave (5th of may). I translated this one because it was one of the worse.\n\n\n\"do you think little (insert daughters name) is done and all rotten now? does the naked bones shine pale in the dark I think about it sometimes I hope you think sometimes about it\n\n\nat least she wont be grown up and like you both in the future there is no future only the end and that is better…\n\n\nnew baby will also be sick and die and rot next to its skeleton sister and they will be dead together and I will wait for it \n\nit sings inside my soul when bad are suffering and I feel triumpf and happiness when it happen and it is the best way\n\t\nwishing  the worst for both of you, soon it is coming…\"\n\n\nDo you guys think this is a male or a female writer?  How can one tell? \n\n**RELEVANT COMMENTS**\n\n**[deleted]**\n\n> Have you contacted the authorities? What have they said about it?\n>\n> Also you could post that you went on Facebook and visit the next couple of days to see if someone shows up.\n>\n> This person seems unstable so be careful.\n\n**OOP**\n\n>>Yes, my wife arrived at the police station with a beheaded teddy bear that had been found on the grave, crying. Police informed that \"we got real crime to handle\". \n\n**~**\n\n**[deleted]**\n\n> Are there any detectable patterns like a day of the week that it happens or a certain amount of days after you post on facebook? This might help narrow down the stake out option. Do you think it was at night or is there no way to tell?\n>\n> Are your posts private on facebook or can anyone see them. Check your privacy settings to see if maybe people who aren't your friends can see them. I can't remember how it works though.\n>\n> Are there any people working nearby that could help you and alert you to anything unusual? Caretakers at the cemetery or nearby businesses that have night shifts.\n>\n> Could you ask to have the plot moved to a more secure or remote area. It might give you some peace. \n>\n> Can you look at the facebook history of the suspects and see if there are any recognizable speech patterns or phrases. It's not definitive but it might help you narrow your focus. Sometimes people are active in facebook groups, local ones are popular and you will see them as a member. Their comments won't shw up in their feed but you can see what they talk about from browsing the group.\n\n**OOP**\n\n>> No absolute pattern, but I find that the letters are often there 1-2 days after we have done something nice, planting flowers etc. But that's not the only times it happens. \n>>\n>> My facebook is set on friends only.\n>>\n>> There are mostly villas and a bakery close to the cemetary, but the cemetary got a brick wall around it (cant see above it from a car, but  an adult can climb over it).\n>>\n>> I plan to go through the \"suspects\" posts on facebook and look for the same choice of words and spelling mistakes  - that might actually be a effective way to narrow it down. Thanks for your input!\n\n[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/RBI/s/QDYDXDmL9e)  **Sept 3, 2016 (nearly 2 months later)**\n\nHi all,\nIt’s been a while since I updated, and that’s because not much has happened.\n\n\n\nAnyway, it’s time for an update, since many of you have asked and I finally got something to report.\n\n\nOn the 27th of august we had decided to visit the grave together (my wife rarely goes there in fear of what she might find) and as we are on our way to the place where you can barrow a vase for the flowers and fill in water and such, I spot a familiar face. It was C. our ex-neighbour with the suffering dog (see previous post for more info). Of couse she might have a grave there to visit too, even if she doesn’t live in the same town as us anymore. She must have arrived shortly after us and came walking in our direction, but slightly from the side.\n\nShe was very sun tanned as if she had just returned from a vacation and the moment she caught me looking at her she turned around and walked out. I followed her, intending to talk to her, see if she seemed rational or if she showed any sign of guilt. But she was gone when I reached the parking lot.\n\n\nThis is no proof, I’m aware. I scanned the entire graveyard for a stone with her family name on it and found nothing. Our child’s grave was not touched this time.\n\n\nThis week I’ve been in contact with the office that can forbid people to keep pets if they have shown cruelty to animals in the past.\n\n\nTurns out that she had one of those issued to her, dated shortly after my wife reported the state of her dog and it was put down. She had been warned before, but it was the dog thing that closed the deal as I understand it.\n\nMotive enough or am I being paranoid here? It’s tricky – she COULD have a valid reason to be there, and walk out when she saw us because she dislikes us, but it could also be more sinister.\n\n**FINAL COMMENTS**\n\n**[deleted]**\n\n> I have read your posts. My condolences to your family. This person is obviously very sick. When I read that letter, my blood caught on fire. I want to do anything to help you. \n>\n> You have to gather evidence on this person. My biggest fear for you is not finding who this person is, but once they are found out they will not stop and there is nothing your police can do to stop it because of the lack of evidence. Please take detailed notes on what has been happening the day you find the grave vandalized. Take photos of the damage. Also, figuring out when this vandal attacks could lead you closer to the suspect. Do they do this at night? What about the day? Has the Facebook idea you originally suspected been proven wrong? Are you absolutely sure your Facebook is private to everyone? Do you know everyone personally on your Facebook or could they be under a false account? What about holidays? Someone who vandals on a holiday likely doesn't have children. Someone who attacks in the middle of the week likely doesn't have a job that is all-day long.\n>\n> Obviously the neighbor has the most personal motive. The person who does these things likely has more time than the average person. They either don't have children or they don't have a good relationship with their family. \n>\n> Since a surveillance camera is out of the question, I would put a tape recorder in the ground and check daily. Even if you can't see the person, you can hear them. This will likely help you figure out if this person is working alone or at least what time they visit to better catch them or collect better evidence.\n>\n> Also, you can make your own trip-alarm system. [here is how you make it](http://survivallife.com/diy-alarm-system-that-calls-cellphone-phone-home-security-systems/). These directions give you a way to actually have the system call a phone once the alarm is activated. If","offTopic":false},{"id":"a72eb1fd-cc6a-4481-a129-55ca39d45c47","excerpt":"A customer found my home, rang my doorbell for half an hour and left when the cops arrived — **I am not The OOP, OOP is u/pettystoned**\n\n**A customer found my home, rang my doorbell for half an hour and left when the cops arrived.**\n\n**Originally posted to r/retailhell**\n\n**Thanks to u/soayherder & u/theprismaprincess ","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1nd4aw9/a_customer_found_my_home_rang_my_doorbell_for/","role":"demand","weight":0.8291555,"occurredAt":"2025-09-10T04:02:11.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"tool_discovery","painScore":0.17333333,"sentiment":-0.13333334,"confidence":0.70666665,"matchedPatterns":["looking_for"],"statement":"I told him if he was looking for a girl he should try Hinge or Tinder because I’ve had luck finding last minute dates there.","title":"A customer found my home, rang my doorbell for half an hour and left when the cops arrived","body":"**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/pettystoned**\n\n**A customer found my home, rang my doorbell for half an hour and left when the cops arrived.**\n\n**Originally posted to r/retailhell**\n\n**Thanks to u/soayherder & u/theprismaprincess for suggesting this BoRU**\n\n**TRIGGER WARNING:** >!Stalking, harassment!<\n\n**MOOD SPOILER:** >!terrifying!<\n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/retailhell/s/wr23MOBrSR)  **Aug 4, 2025**\n\nI (27F) work in the cannabis industry and this man has been a customer of mine for 4+ years. Our interactions have been very tame; he walks in, buys his pre-roll and walks out. He is about 3 years younger than me, doesn’t have a job, lives with his mom and doesn’t have a car so he walks everywhere.\n\nLast Thursday (7/31) he came around to buy his usual. About five minutes later he comes back and says “Do you mind if I sit down, it’s just really hot out there”. I didn’t mind because the heat index was around 104 degrees and I was being polite. I gave him a drink and told him to rest until he was ready to leave. He was wearing a jacket in the middle of a heatwave.\n\nHe ended up staying for an hour just chatting about random things like the economy, Ozzy Osbourne’s death, things going on in his life. It wasn’t until he started talking about trying to find a girl to go to the fair with, take on hikes, etc did I find his being there suspicious. He seems like a really socially awkward guy and in the 4 years he’s been coming to the shop, I never felt threatened by him. I made it pretty clear that I’m working on myself; that I’m going back to school, working out at the gym and focusing on myself. I told him if he was looking for a girl he should try Hinge or Tinder because I’ve had luck finding last minute dates there. I basically kicked him out and said, “Well it’s been nice talking to you but I have to use the restroom”. Before he left he turned to me and asked if I was working on Saturday (8/2), I told him no and then he asked me to the fair. I said “No, I’m sorry I already have plans”.\n\nFast forward to around 9:30pm this evening (8/3). I was doing laundry, sitting on the couch when my doorbell rings. We live in condos and normally people come to the back door where the parking lot is, the doorbell ringing is extremely abnormal. I didn’t really think much of it, I thought maybe someone had ordered food and it got delivered to the wrong house. I put a load of laundry in and got into the shower. While I was in the shower I heard someone pounding on the front door, I basically ignored it because I’m not getting out of my shower to answer it. But when I finally got out of the shower my doorbell was ringing incessantly. Ding, ding, ding, ding, pound, pound, pound, ding, ding, ding.\n\nI call my mom because I’m freaking out and I’m thinking there might be an emergency in the neighborhood (but my neighbors know me, have my number and would have come to the back door). She’s on the phone with me and she hears this racket too, my dog is raising hell and there is someone very eager for me to open the door. I peaked through the blinds of my spare bedroom and low and behold there is my customer. The customer who asked me out and I rejected. He’s been there about 20 minutes now trying to get me to open the door.\n\nI live really close to work. Within walking distance. He must have followed me home after work or seen me walking my dog in the neighborhood. Who knows how long he’s been tracking my movements but he’s at my house on a Sunday night banging on my door and ringing the doorbell nonstop. I text my neighbor who is basically like a mom to me and she’s at my house in seconds. We’re at the back door, still hearing the doorbell and the pounding on the door. I’m shaking from head to toe, I’m disoriented because I don’t know what the hell is going on and she calls the cops for me. The cops are there within 5 minutes. From the time the last knock/ring sounded to the time the cops arrived was maybe 3 minutes. He must have booked it as soon as he saw the patrol officer.\n\nI give my statement to the police, tell them about Thursday, tell them that my customer has been banging on my door for over half an hour. They call more squad cars to patrol the other neighborhoods. But after 4+ years of having this customer, I don’t know his name. I have literally no idea who this guy is and what he wants from me. How long has he known where I live? How long has he been stalking me? What was his motive for ringing my doorbell for half an hour so late at night? Did he want to hurt me? Did he want to kill me? I don’t know! All I did was tell him I was busy and I couldn’t go to the fair with him, sorry. \n\nI ended up calling my friend and she’s letting me crash at her place tonight but I’m so uncomfortable about going home. I live alone with my dog and I don’t want to move but if I cannot figure out this guys name there is nothing I can do legally. It’s 3am now and I’m combing through all our security footage, transaction history, literally anything that can give me a hint at who he is. He told me he got fired from JCPenny but I’m not sure they will divulge his information to me. I’m trying to gather enough evidence that the cops can track him down without his name. I’m so terrified. I cannot sleep, cannot eat. Cannot fathom going back to the house I call a home knowing this man infiltrated my life with such demand. How will I ever go back to work? What am I to do? I had plans, I had ambitions to leave this job but now I’m faced with the choice of leaving now or potentially putting myself in danger. \n\nI’m so sick of people. I’m terrified of everyone now. Because no matter how long you’ve known someone, how many times you may have interacted with them, they are not to be trusted. They are a threat to you, your life and your personal space. I cannot stop crying and I’m nervous about everything now. I don’t know what to do anymore. I just want to live a normal life where I’m not threatened for declining a date. \n\nI just wanted to share my story. I’m going to do my best to file a restraining order but I’m not sure that is enough. I fear I’ll have to move, leave my good paying job and watch my every move from here on out. I don’t feel safe anymore.\n\n**RELEVANT COMMENTS**\n\n**Gracie_TheOriginal**\n\n> PLEASE TELL YOUR BOSS/MANAGER! He needs to be banned from the store because he has CLEARLY crossed boundaries and he does not deserve to have ANY access to you at all.\n\n**OOP**\n\n>> Already on it. My boss is extremely kind and understanding. He is helping me look through the backlog security footage to try and find this guy’s name. He is familiar with this customer as he’s been a long time patron to our store.\n\n**~**\n\n**AnonymousMystery2All**\n\n> In what state did this happen. I only ask because every single dispensary I've ever been to in California, I've ALWAYS had to show my ID that gets scanned by a front end person on a computer before I can go to where the sales floor is. The computer database has all of my information and every dispensary I've ever been in has tons of security cameras everywhere. Seems like you should be able to cross reference the last time he came in with the time code on the video footage to find out his name in the system.\n\n**OOP**\n\n>> Tennessee. \n>>\n>> It’s a non-legal state so things are unregulated. I scan an item marked 21+ and then I scan their ID, verifying their age. Unless they are a loyalty member I don’t have their name/number but I’m pretty sure this individual is in our system. \n>>\n>> He pays with cash 95% of the time and never enters his loyalty number when he pays. I can only figure out the information I need if I can find security footage of him paying with card. It’s been a bitch, still searching.\n\n[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/retailhell/s/B0MAlpUAL1)  **Sept 3, 2025**\n\nI'd first like to say, I wasn't expecting as much engagement as I had on [my last post](https://www.reddit.com/r/retailhell/comments/1mh7rql/a_customer_found_my_home_rang_my_doorbell_for/). Thank you to everyone who validated my feelings and gave me helpful advice. If you haven't read that post I suggest you do because it gives you all the information about what happened to me the night my customer came to my house.\n\nI'd like to clarify a few things from my last post that a lot of people had questions about. Although I work in the cannabis industry, I operate in a *non-legal state*. Meaning I only have to scan ID's and not save the person's information each time they make a purchase. THC-A and Delta-9 are regulated just like alcohol in my state so I was unable to get the person's information solely from his ID. It's been a month so I'd like to update everyone on how I'm doing, what has happened since and what I'm doing legally to protect myself.\n\nI won't go into much detail but I was able to find the person's information through our security camera and Square business portal. I found a time where he used a credit card and since he was a loyalty member with us, his name was attached to the account. I paid for a background check and was able to find a full name and address which I gave to the police as well as all the security camera footage I had on the day he asked me out and I refused. All the evidence was sent to the police and compiled into an evidence folder. The police officers visited his home, asked him questions about the night that he came to my house and knocked on my door for half an hour. On body camera he *admitted* to coming to my house and his excuse was that, \"She sold me gummies that made me high for 5 days.\" Like that's NOT an excuse for coming to my *home* at 9:30 at night. I assure you if there was a THC gummy in a non-legal state that made you high for 5 days, no one would not be able to keep them on the shelf. This was enough for the cops to allow me to press charges of harassment against him.\n\nIn order for him to make bail he had to sign a bond condition stating that he would not come to my house or my place of business, if he broke that bond condition he would be re-arrested and charged with aggravated stalking.\n\nWhich is exactly what happened today.\n\nAfter almost a month of not seeing this person, I saw him walking in front of my store. I didn't think much of it, although it did frighten me, I continued to help customers and did my job. He was not approaching the building and there was no reason to lose my cool over just seeing him. That is until he walked by again. I ended up locking the door and watching his movement from the window. He turned a corner and I figured, \"Okay, he's leaving it's nothing to worry about\", I unlocked the door to resume business. \n\nI was sitting down at the computer when all of a sudden he enters the shop and sits down in one of our waiting chairs. I wasn't paying attention to the outside so he came out of nowhere and shocked me. I say to him calmly at first, \"You need to leave or I am calling the cops\" and he replies, \"Why?\". I just kept repeating myself and he keeps saying, \"Why? Why? Why?\" I finally reach for the phone and I'm now screaming at him to **LEAVE, GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE, I'M CALLING THE COPS.** What irked me the most is not that he had the audacity to violate his bond condition and come to my store, but that he kept saying my first name, like \"Please, \\*\\*\\*. Don't call the cops, \\*\\*\\*. \\*\\*\\*, why? Why?\" I didn't even know his name until I pressed charges against him and he acted like we were friends. Like he had every right to be at my place of business and that I wouldn't call the cops on him again because we had some sort of relationship. It all happened so quickly and when he finally left I locked the door again and proceeded to have a full blown panic attack. I don't know if anyone else has experienced a panic attack but it felt like someone had dunked my head under water and I couldn't breathe. My entire body was shaking from head to toe and I was sobbing.\n\nI called the owner and he came shortly after. We phoned the police and","offTopic":false},{"id":"4d2e47e0-ef1d-4808-b714-6489d56e17d3","excerpt":"I (25M) found an expensive laptop among my fiancees (23F) things. I have no idea why something like that would be at our house. When I confronted her about it the laptop was gone and she claims she has no idea what I’m talking about — **I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwRAconfuseda** \n\n**I (25M) found an expensive laptop","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1vbfxng/i_25m_found_an_expensive_laptop_among_my_fiancees/","role":"pain","weight":0.826,"occurredAt":"2026-07-31T04:02:02.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"other","painScore":0.4,"sentiment":-1,"confidence":0.59,"matchedPatterns":[],"statement":"I (25M) found an expensive laptop among my fiancees (23F) things.","title":"I (25M) found an expensive laptop among my fiancees (23F) things. I have no idea why something like that would be at our house. When I confronted her about it the laptop was gone and she claims she has no idea what I’m talking about","body":"**I am not The OOP, OOP is u/throwRAconfuseda** \n\n**I (25M) found an expensive laptop among my fiancees (23F) things. I have no idea why something like that would be at our house. When I confronted her about it the laptop was gone and she claims she has no idea what I’m talking about.** \n\n**Originally posted to r/relationship_advice** \n\n[Original Post](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/s/Wh4oWBIBXp)  **June 25, 2021** \n\nThis afternoon I (25M) was looking for something to wear to my sisters graduation tomorrow. My fiancée (23F) have lived together for two years, in a pretty small apartment while we save for a house. Our stuff is all pretty mixed together, so when I couldn’t find something in my closet I looked through hers. \n\nI found the shirt I was looking for and when I pulled it out a laptop that was kind of tucked away. As far as I knew, my fiancée didn’t have a laptop, she has an iPad and a kindle and a iPhone. \n\nI don’t know much about computers but I know this particular computer sells for thousands and thousands of dollars online. This computer didn’t look old and used, it looked almost new. I have no idea when in the past she would’ve had the money to buy something like this, or why she would’ve without telling me about it (not that she has to or anything, I just don’t understand why she wouldn’t). \n\nI put the laptop to the side to ask her about when she got home and went for a run. By the time I came back she was home. The laptop wasn’t where I left it \n(bedside  table). When I asked my fiancée about it she said she had no idea what I was talking about, and she didn’t have a laptop, and had never purchased one. \n\nI know I’m not imagining this, because other things I had misplaced looking around were still out of place. No one else has access to our house. \n\nI’m either crazy or my fiancée isn’t being honest with me. I feel so confused. Any advice on how to deal with this would be great. \n\n**RELEVANT COMMENTS** \n\n**Is it a surprise gift?** \n\n>I guess but there’s nothing that came up that would warrant such an expensive gift, even with birthday gifts we only spend like $100 on each other, line I said we’re trying to save up for a house \n\n**Was it in the box?** \n\n>It was not in the box \n\n**Someone suggested its her boyfriends laptop** \n\n>We have a ring doorbell. There isn’t any video of anyone strange coming in or out \n\n**Maybe its a gift from her Sugar Daddy?/She's a camgirl** \n\n> In regards to the gift from a sugar daddy- if my fiancée  was to have a sugar daddy, I don’t know why she’d get him to buy her a laptop instead of things she actually saves her money for- shoes, clothes, etc, are the only things I’ve ever seen her excited to buy. Not electronics. \n>\n> I thought about the cam girl thing, but my fiancée is extremely shy, and extremely introverted. She doesn’t even like talking to cashiers at the store. \n\n[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/obtwwb/update_i_25m_found_an_expensive_laptop_among_my/)  **July 1, 2021 (1 week later)** \n\nHey everyone. My first post is here: [first post.](https://www.reddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/o7y2h8/i_25m_found_an_expensive_laptop_among_my_fiancees/) \n\nThanks for all of the input. Most people were pretty convinced my fiancee was either having an affair, or had an online page. Luckily none of those things were the case. \n\nTo make a long story short, my fiancees younger brother still lives with his parents and used his stimulus checks to buy the laptop, when he still owed his parents money after they helped him paying some of his bills for a few months. I guess his mom started to get suspicious that he’d blown his money so she was going through his stuff to try and find out what he’d spent it on. The last time he was at our place, he hid the laptop in my fiancees closet, I guess he thought he’d be back soon to get it. \n\nWhen I found the laptop I texted one of my friends about it, who’s also friends with said brother. This friend went her brother and was like, “Holy shit, your sister is definitely doing porn!” So thats how he found out I had found the laptop. \n\nHe came into our house and got the laptop, and then deleted the doorbell footage (I didn’t even know he had access to our doorbell, but I guess a few months ago when we went on vacation my fiancee gave him our info to keep an eye on the house since we went out of service. \n\nAnyway, that’s it. I know a lot of you might be disappointed she wasn’t cheating or doing anything bad (I got a lot of messages calling her pretty disparaging names) but it was just her idiot brother. \n\n**Jfc, guys. Apparently because my fiancée wasn’t cheating on me, this is “sketchy”. She’s not cheating. She didn’t do anything bad. Stop sending me messages telling me I’m oblivious, dumb, she’s lying, he’s lying** \n\n***I TRUST MY FIANCÉE. SHE HAS NO REASON TO BUY THIS LAPTOP. IT WAS CONFIRMED HER BROTHER BOUGHT IT*** \n\ncopied from a comment I’ve said it before but I guess some of you need repeating. THIS STORY WAS CONFIRMED. by multiple sources: \n\n-neighbors camera caught a flash of him walking past their door to get to ours but no footage of coming to ours because he deleted the footage. \n\n-I saw the bill in his name for the computer. \n\n-When we turned the computer on it had all of HIS SHIT on it. \n\nAdding: **I changed the ring password!** \n\n**THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP** \n\n**DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7**","offTopic":false},{"id":"6429d803-a0af-40e4-ae3a-f7cb1c210a30","excerpt":"AIO? My 23M boyfriend held me 19F underwater during a bath to prove a point and I’m still shaken — **I am not The OOP, OOP posted from 2 accounts: u/ThrowRaa01923 & u/ThrowRaa1923**\n\n**AIO? My 23M boyfriend held me 19F underwater during a bath to prove a point and I’m still shaken**\n\n**Originally posted to r/relationsh","url":"https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/1nz94q0/aio_my_23m_boyfriend_held_me_19f_underwater/","role":"pain","weight":0.826,"occurredAt":"2025-10-06T04:02:03.000Z","sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","credibility":0.62,"venue":"BestofRedditorUpdates","intent":"other","painScore":0.4,"sentiment":-1,"confidence":0.59,"matchedPatterns":[],"statement":"My 23M boyfriend held me 19F underwater during a bath to prove a point and I’m still shaken.","title":"AIO? My 23M boyfriend held me 19F underwater during a bath to prove a point and I’m still shaken","body":"**I am not The OOP, OOP posted from 2 accounts: u/ThrowRaa01923 & u/ThrowRaa1923**\n\n**AIO? My 23M boyfriend held me 19F underwater during a bath to prove a point and I’m still shaken**\n\n**Originally posted to r/relationship_advice**\n\n**TRIGGER WARNING:** >!abuse, attempted drowning!<\n\n**MOOD SPOILER:** >!Horrifying but ends positive!<\n\n[Original Post - rareddit](https://www.rareddit.com/r/relationship_advice/comments/1e75qew/my_23m_boyfriend_held_me_19f_underwater_during_a/)  **July 19, 2024**\n\nI’m 19F and have been with my boyfriend 23M for over a year now. We come from different countries and religions but we’ve made it work. I have to mention this. My boyfriend loves turning everything into a competition. We both go to the gym and he's always like \"who can do this better\" Even at home he’s always asking who can cook better.. clean faster.. you name it.\n\nA week ago we were relaxing in the bathtub together. He asked who I thought could hold the other underwater the longest. I found it weird and just brushed it off as one of his usual questions. Just 2-3 minutes later he got up as if to get out of the bathtub and suddenly pushed me underwater. He kept me under for what felt like more than 20 seconds. When he finally let go he started laughing.\n\nI’m generally healthy but I have a heart condition that requires daily medication to keep my heart rate normal. Without meds, my heart rate can go up to 140-150 bpm. Even with meds, sudden situations like this can make my heart rate spike to 140 and stay between 110-120 for the next few days. He knows this.\n\nHe brought up what happened today and said he apologized (which he didn’t) and that I should get over it. I'm trying. He said he was trying to prove a point. That I need to work on myself more. It doesn't make sense to me because he’s naturally stronger than me and no matter how much I work out. I can’t always defend myself against everything successfully.\n\nI can’t talk to my sister or mother about it. They’d just ask what I was doing in a bathtub with a guy in the first place. And I still don't have friends here. It's only him and me. We’ve talked about it more than once and he says if I did this to him he would've found it funny. I don't know if I just need to loosen up more but I don't understand how holding me underwater for that long was ever funny in his head.\n\nEdit: He’s also complaining now about the marks I left on his wrist/arm (almost faded). I didn't mean to. It was sudden and I swallowed bit of water and I was freaking out and just wanted him to let go. I apologized for this but told him it was a natural reaction to what he did.\n\n**RELEVANT COMMENTS**\n\n**HatsAndTopcoats**\n\n>You need to get out immediately. Do not listen to anything he says to you to convince you otherwise. He is dangerous. **If** there is a universe where what he did could be forgiven as a massive error in judgment, the way he's reacted since then -- finding about six different ways to blame you for being upset -- is the opposite of what that would look like\n\n**OOP**\n\n>>You're completely right. It's just I've never felt unsafe or uncomfortable around him that's why this is so difficult for me I guess\n\n**~**\n\n**tomatoisafroot**\n\n> This is very, very scary. I am afraid for you. You are still shaken because what he did was violent. There is no other way to define it; he used his greater body mass to restrain you in a dangerous, scary, and potentially life-threatening situation AND found it funny. He has gone far beyond the boundaries of normal competitiveness. \n>\n> The fact that he pushed you to apologize for leaving marks on his arm while he was practically drowning you leads me to believe that he 1) is unable/unwilling to see the true harm of his actions, 2) will do something similarly violent again, 3) will find a way to make your reactions to his violence the bigger problem. Please find a way to remove this man from your life soon, before he escalates and puts you in even greater danger\n\n**OOP**\n\n>>I'm afraid too and can't stop thinking about what if he does something like this again. I'm confused because he says he didn’t really mean to hurt me and I love him a lot. I know I need to really do something about it but It's been a week and I still haven’t done anything.\n\n[Update](https://www.reddit.com/r/AmIOverreacting/s/skCLzCkVei)  **Aug  14, 2024 (1 month later)**\n\nHi. I just wanted to let you know that I'm away and safe. I tried to log in 2 days ago to update but foiund that my account has been suspended. Maybe I did something wrong while creating it or mentioned some details I wasn't supposed to. But I'm okay now and wanted you to know because I'm really grateful for all the advice and support I received that I wasn't sure I would find anywhere else. (If my update is too long. You can just stop here because the rest is just what happened in detail)\n\nI'm currently staying with a woman who used to be one of my neighbors before I moved in with him a few months ago. She's the only person I could think of calling for help and she didn't hesitate to come right away to help pack some of my things and leave. She also encouraged me to call my family. I called my mom two days later. She promised to not tell my siblings or my father (my parents are divorced). I told her everything and she asked how she could help. which was something I wasn't actually expecting. (The main reason I was hesitant to let my family know is because of both my older sister and my father. They always brings up things people feel ashamed of or bad experiences they've had just to win arguments)\n\nAs for my ex he apologized. Said he meant nothing by what he did and promised never to do it again. But just 3 days after leaving him. He tricked me into meeting him through one of his friends. She said he packed the rest of my things and asked her to give them back to me. I went to meet her (in a public place that I insisted on) and he was with her. We didn’t talk because I left right away before I even made it to their table.\n\nSince I blocked him the day I left. My neighbor called him and let him know that she has no problem helping me get a restraining order if he ever tries anything. That’s all. I’m safe and I know now that I did the right thing. I'm glad I called her. I found a place with two roommates that I will be moving to next week. Although she said I can stay as long as I want but she’s already done so much for me and I don’t want to feel like I’m taking advantage of her kindness. Thank you again for all the advice❤️.\n\n**FINAL COMMENTS**\n\n**DramaticHumor5363**\n\n>Oh thank GOD. I have been thinking about you every day since you posted. I am so glad you trusted your mom and she actually came through, I know you were scared about that. Keep relying on the people who have proven to be on your side, and keep being way, way overly careful in staying the hell away from him. I’m so happy to hear you’re okay.\n\n**OOP**\n\n>>Yeah I was so scared to call my mom but she was surprisingly understanding and said all she wanted was for me to be safe and come back to her alive. I'm really glad I called my neighbor even though it was so hard for me, I was literally shaking and cried before calling. But that was what actually pushed me to seek help. Thank you so much ❤️.\n\n**~**\n\n**Contribution4afriend**\n\n> He is crazy. Your \"friend\" is a snake and might be missing some info. Or he twisted all the story. But I bet she is the one comforting him right now. \n>\n> I only ask you to remain safe. Full NC with him, siblings and others in common. I would also delete or block your profiles. \n>\n> Check your credit (change banks if necessary) and other passwords. He might use them in revenge (make loans).\n\n**OOP**\n\n>> \"Your \"friend\" is a snake and might be missing some info. Or he twisted all the story.\"\n>>\n>> She’s his friend. She and I aren’t close enough for me to call her a friend but she never gave me the impression that she could lie. When she called, I didn’t think for a second that she would do something like that.\n\n**THIS IS A REPOST SUB - I AM NOT THE OOP** \n\n**DO NOT CONTACT THE OOP's OR COMMENT ON LINKED POSTS, REMEMBER - RULE 7**","offTopic":false}],"breakdown":[{"sourceKey":"reddit","sourceName":"Reddit","count":21},{"sourceKey":"lemmy","sourceName":"Lemmy","count":2}],"total":23}}